A Peek in the Dollhouse
by SuddenlySandi
Summary: Edward is trying to save Bella's mind, but it might cost him his in the process. All Human.
1. Chapter 1

A Peek in the Dollhouse.

**Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight characters.**

**This story will be confusing at first, but if you're confused imagine how Edward feels!**

I pulled up to the old brick building. It had an aura of despair and I dreaded walking into the place. I got my identification out and walked toward the guarded entrance. I forced myself to put on a smile and tried to greet the men cheerfully.

"Hello, how are you today?" I said.

"Good, Doctor Cullen, have a nice day."

I nodded and headed down the long corridor toward my small office. My father worked in the administration office. He gave up practicing psychiatry a few years ago, but remained at the State Mental Hospital in an advisory role. I didn't think I would be able to last nearly as long in this droll place as he did.

I pushed the button and the nurse on duty let me in. I nodded at her and picked up the stack of files left by the night shift and went into my office. I put my lunch in the small fridge and sat in my chair to go through the files.

A flash caught my eye and I looked over to see Bella leaning against the doorway. I smiled to myself and tried to ignore her. She made a noise by hitting her small shoe against the wood, but I continued my reading. She finally came into the room, her long dark hair a knotted mess, and her cotton dress stained.

"Good morning, Bella," I stated, and continued looking down.

She walked her fingers, which were soiled, across my desk and placed her hand in front of my papers. I looked up and she smiled with dirty teeth. "I can't read if you block my view," I said, and she laughed with a hoarse voice. I frowned and sat back in my chair. "Were you screaming again last night?"

She ignored my questions and began clapping her hands together in a beat only she could hear and walked over to my window and looked outside. I continued to watch her, wondering what had happened to condemn her to this awful place at such a young age.

Bella was only twelve and had lived here since she was eight. She spoke seldom and usually shied away from people. But she seemed intrigued by me and hung around often. I was desperate to break through her foggy mind and help her to really heal.

I looked for Bella's file and opened it to see what had gone on during the night. I sighed to see she was in a state of hysterics through most of the night. "Bella," I said and she turned to look at me. "Did you have a bad dream?"

She touched her lips with her finger, meaning yes. I was about to ask her about it when a nurse looked in my office and said, "Dr. Cullen, Eric needs his medications examined."

I got up and headed to the young man's room. Bella came into the hallway and followed behind me. I found Eric lying in bed as he stared forward. I felt his pulse and asked to see his chart. I groaned when I saw the level of meds he had been given. "Don't give him anything today and see if he'll drink extra fluid. I'll check on him throughout the day."

The night shift was always over medicating the patients so they could have eventless nights. I was angry as I left his room and the sight of Bella's dirty face kicked up my anger. I picked her up around the waist and headed right to the showers. She kicked and screamed, having only a little voice left, knowing where I was taking her.

I grabbed a rubber apron and put it over my head before I started a tub of water. Bella was trying to bite me but I managed to stay out of the way of her teeth as I pulled her dress from her body. I left her t-shirt and underwear in place and dropped her into the water.

I tied the apron and then knelt next to the tub as I washed her face, hair, hands and feet with soap. She growled and grunted the entire time. One of the nurses, Angela, came running in with a large towel and said, "Dr. Cullen, let me do that."

I stepped out of the way and said, "I want her hair combed, and if you can't do it cut it off."

I threw the apron onto the ground and walked back to my office. I was growing to loathe this place and it caused me to make obvious mistakes. I sat back down at my desk and ran my wet hands through my hair. I took several deep breaths and then pulled the files back to my eyes. I made notes in several and when I heard someone sniffing I looked up to see Bella glaring at me. Her hair was wet, but combed smooth.

"Come here," I said softly.

She walked over to the desk with her bottom lip sticking out. I reached out and touched it with my finger and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Now I can see your beautiful face," I said with a smile. "And look at how pretty your hair is."

She picked up a strand of her hair and played with it as she rocked back and forth. She looked over at my window and walked over to look outside. I watched her with intrigue and wondered how anyone could hurt such a sweet spirit.

Bella was found living alone in a rat infested house. She was malnourished and so traumatized she couldn't speak. The state took custody of her and tried placing her in foster homes. Her constant screaming and violent outburst ended her up here.

I saw a soft innocent side to Bella, but she only responded that way with me. Nobody else could keep her attention the way I could. "Do you want some candy?" I asked her.

She smiled and came running over to my desk. I got a sucker out of my drawer and said, "What's in your hair?" I reached for her hair and then I pulled the sucker from my hand as if performing a magic trick.

She scrunched up her nose and felt her hair to see if anymore suckers lurked. I held the sucker out and Bella took it and stuck it in her mouth. Angela walked into my office and sighed when she saw Bella with candy. "She hasn't eaten breakfast yet," she complained.

"Go with Angela and eat," I told Bella. She looked over at Angela but refused to take her hand she offered. Angela turned and walked out as Bella followed her.

I picked up my phone and called my dad's office. He answered and I said, "Hey, do you know if Bella has ever been taken out of here for day visits?"

"She doesn't have any family," my dad reminded me.

"I know, but a nurse could take her and keep notes on her reactions."

"You're the only one who has any control of her, and that is only if you don't cross her," he said. I could tell he didn't like what I was thinking, but it wasn't fair for a little girl to be deemed too difficult to have any contact with the outside world. It wasn't her fault she was an orphan.

"I might try taking her for a walk," I mused, and my father launched into a lecture. I quickly cut him off and said, "She isn't having any effective therapy in here, I have to try something."

"Keep me apprised," he said, giving up any hope of changing my mind.

I began making my rounds on the unit and when I noticed Bella following me and knelt down and spoke directly to her. "Bella, would you like to go outside with me?"

Her eyes darted to a window and then back at me. I could see the fear growing and I said, "I'll hold your hand, and we'll only go for a short walk."

I held out my hand and had to wait several moments before she would take it. I walked slowly to the security door and had to show her it only led to a hallway so she would come through the door. When we made it to the main door she stopped dead in her tracks and pulled back on her hand. I let her go and walked over to open the door. I pointed to the steps and said, "I'll sit right here, you can come out when you want."

I left the door open and sat on the top step, refusing to look back at her. It was close to fifteen minutes before she rushed to my side and held onto me with all her strength. I looked down to see her eyes shut tightly. I wrapped my arm around her and spoke softly, "I'm so proud of you. Today is a new day for you, Bella."

Her head was tucked into my chest and she looked up at me with terrified eyes. I smiled at her and she gave me a wary smile in return. "I'm your friend Bella, I would never hurt you," I promised.

She looked over at the parking lot and then around at the grounds as she clung to me tightly. I pointed at my silver car and said, "That car right there is mine. I bought it new when I graduated. Someday you'll go to school, too."

I knew it was a huge leap to think Bella could ever do something as normal as attending school. I wanted her to find some inner strength even if she only took a small step. "Do you want to go back inside?" I asked her.

She nodded emphatically so I held her tightly and stood. She remained clinging to me until we got inside then she let go and took hold of my hand. I went on with my day and Bella was my constant shadow the entire time. When my shift came to an end she climbed into her favorite chair and curled into a ball. She did this every day when I had to leave.

I knew better than to talk to her so she wouldn't go into a rage. I got my backpack and headed home for the evening. I unlocked my condo door and walked in to find Tanya in my kitchen. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her tonight, but I walked over to offer her a gentle kiss. "I'm not hungry," I lied, trying to punish her for taking the initiative and cooking for me.

She tossed the spatula into the pan harshly and turned off the heat. "Are you in a pissy mood again?" she asked.

I headed to my bedroom and she followed. I turned my stomach even though I knew it wasn't right to treat her this way. She was five years older than me and in a rush to marry. I had spent the last ten years of my life taking advanced courses so I could be a doctor by twenty-five. I needed some time to myself, without the pressures of a wife and child.

"I have a free night," she said as she watched me for a reaction. "Jane is with her father."

I had a flash of inspiration and turned to look a Tanya with wide eyes. "Hey, would you be willing to let Jane meet a girl from the hospital?"

Tanya laughed and then grew angry when I didn't give the indication I was joking. She folded her arms harshly and then said, "You expect my baby to be around those crazies?"

"Bella isn't crazy," I said angrily. "She was destroyed by something or someone and she needs help to heal."

"Well, you help her, but don't expect me to help."

I groaned loudly in frustration, wanting just one thing to be simple today. I increased the volume of my voice and said, "Jane wouldn't have to come inside, just play on the grass and see if Bella will play with her."

Tanya finally knew exactly how to handle me. She walked up slowly and began to unbutton my shirt. She smiled with her perfectly straight, a bit too white, teeth. "I'll consider it, if you change your mood."

I knew she was blackmailing me, but I would do it for the chance to help Bella. I pulled her to my mouth and kissed her aggressively, not worrying if I got too rough.


	2. Chapter 2

2

The next week I worked on getting Bella down the steps. It was progressing slowly and her anxiety seemed to be increasing. I refused to medicate her. I wanted her emotions to be real and her therapy to be effective.

We stood on the last step and I pointed at the grass. "Do you want to feel the grass with your hand?" I asked her.

She pulled her ear, telling me no. I let go of her hand and remained by her side for a moment before taking the last step and bending down to touch the grass. "It is very soft," I said and smiled over at her.

She looked around in fear and then back up the steps at the door. I was afraid she was going to bolt and I knew I had to keep her attention on me. I finally said, "Look, I'll take off my shoes and walk on the soft grass."

I untied my shoes and pulled them off quickly. I pulled one sock off and wiggled my toes, making Bella laugh. I removed the other sock and took a very slow step to the grass. I moaned with pleasure and acted out the actions animatedly.

Bella watched with fascination as I walked around in small circles. She finally took a step off of the bottom stair. I held out my hand and she looked down at the grass before quickly grabbing onto me. She tried to climb up my body, afraid something would claim her on the grass. I picked her up and walked as she looked down at the ground.

When I stopped I asked her if it would be okay if we sat. She touched her lip so I folded my legs under me and held her on my lap. I reached for her shoes and removed the dirty pair. I saw how tight they were and made a mental note to get her another pair. I removed her mismatched socks and gently set her bare feet on the grass.

"See," I said with a smile, "It tickles doesn't it?"

She patted her feet on the ground and then slowly moved from my lap and touched the grass with her hands. I was smiling wildly, seeing something simple through her fresh eyes. Suddenly, a large, loud motorcycle roared past the building. Bella screamed and dove onto me, knocking me backward.

I tried to hold onto her as I righted myself. It naturally pulled her to the side of me and she stared into my eyes with a wild, terrified look. "No," she screamed, talking for the first time. "No, bad," she yelled and rolled away from me.

I wasn't exactly sure what happened but I knew I had to get her back into the hospital before she moved into total hysterics. I jumped up and grabbed her around the waist, holding her in front of me as I rushed up the stairs and into the building.

I sat her on her feet and held her arms as I knelt in front of her. "Bella," I said with a soft even voice. "You're okay, nobody can hurt you. I will never hurt you," I said convincingly.

Her eyes were blank as she stared back at me. I let go of her arms and her shoulders slump in defeat. I was so pissed that she had taken this large step forward and then quickly slid back into her own mind. I snapped my fingers in front of her, but she didn't even blink.

I scooped her up into my arms and took her back to her own room, before returning outside to get our shoes. Bella remained on her bed for the rest of the day.

I stopped by her room on my way out to check on her. I knocked and her head slowly turned to look at me. I smiled but she only stared. "I'm sorry you were frightened," I said honestly. "I won't push you again until you're ready. I just want you to play and have fun like other girls."

Her head slowly turned back to the front, staring up at the ceiling. I went outside and got into my car. I sat back and closed my eyes as I went over the events of the day. I tried to walk through what happened very slowly. I wasn't sure if the noise of the engine scared her or if it was familiar to her.

I thought about my own reaction and how I wrapped my arms around her, trying to be protective. I let her body roll to my side and leaned on my elbows to sit up. It placed my body over her. "Ah shit," I said and punched my steering wheel. Bella had most likely been sexually abused as a child and I had added to her fear.

I drove home as I berated myself for my actions. I pulled up to find Tanya's car in the parking lot. I couldn't deal with her today so I headed to my parents house. I walked through the quiet house looking for anyone and found my father in his study.

He looked up with surprise when I walked in and said, "Edward, I wasn't expecting you."

I sat down and he could read the expression on my face. He waited for me to offer some sort of explanation. I admired my father but I also wanted to be my own man, capable of making the right diagnosis and treatment plans. It wounded my pride to be forced to ask him for help.

I finally chose my words carefully and said, "I may have damaged Bella. She screamed and used words, but she instantly retreated back into her mind."

My father brought his hand to his mouth and leaned on his elbow. I knew he was thinking everything through, something I needed to do a better job with. He finally took a deep breath and said, "You've triggered a memory. What are you going to do about it?"

"Do you think I should push her?" I asked in surprise.

He shrugged and said, "Nothing else has worked, you did something right."

"I'm afraid I'll make her associate me with the memory. I need to be separate or I can't continue treating her."

My father's eyes crinkled as he smiled at me. "Son, if you were in private practice you could afford to be so valiant. Inside that hell hole it is a different story. If you aren't aggressive nothing changes."

I let my head fall back and I rubbed my eyes harshly. This was so infuriating and I wanted nothing more than to take Bella home and force her to be normal. She was a young girl with her whole life ahead of her. I couldn't leave her condemned to that horrible place.

"She is always worse at night," I moaned. "I guess I'll go over there tonight and make sure it isn't something they can't manage."

When I stood my father called my name. I looked over at him and he looked very concerned. "You need to prepare yourself for the possibility that nothing will ever change for Bella. She is the best she can be right now."

I shook my head, refusing to let the comment find a place to reside in my mind. "Never," I said and walked from the room.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pulled it out to make sure it wasn't the hospital calling. I saw it was Tanya and put it away with answering. I went back to the hospital and worked on some reports as I waited for the patients to be put to bed. At lights out I headed to Bella's room. I noticed the stench of urine right as I entered.

I walked up to her bed and saw her lying in her old cotton shift in a puddle of piss. I clenched my teeth as I tried to find an orderly. They were in the break room playing cards and jumped when they saw me enter the room.

"Bella's bed and clothing need changed," I said angrily.

Two young men jumped up and rushed to her room. The protocol required two of the opposite sex to be with a patient. I followed them and stood in the doorway as the pulled Bella to a chair and then removed her clothes and bedding. She began to shiver, but her eyes never moved.

I headed to the laundry room and stuck a towel in the dryer for a couple of minutes and then took it back to wrap around her. I noticed her body was beginning to mature and it hurt my heart deeply. I had to reach her before she became a woman in this place.

When the bed was changed they pulled Bella to a standing position and held her so they could put her into clean panties. I noticed the scars on her buttock and inner thighs. I turned away, too distraught to see anything else.

They dressed her in a nightgown and put her into the bed. I pulled a chair up to the side and sat next to her. I watched as her eyes focused forward and then slowly began to sink until they were shut. When she was asleep her features relaxed and she looked so young and so innocent. It was the way a twelve year old should always look.

I watched as her fingers danced and realized she was playing the piano in her sleep. I watched the finger motions and saw she was playing actual notes. What abused eight-year old child can play the piano? She had never been exposed to one since she arrived here, so it had to be a prior talent.

After several hours her body began to twitch and her breathing became erratic. I mistakenly reached out to touch her, causing her to scream loudly and begin thrashing in the bed. Nobody came to check on her, since she could keep this up for hours.

I tried to talk to her and to hold her down, but nothing calmed her. I finally began to hum the simple tune she had been playing with her fingers. The screaming stopped immediately and over time she eventually settled into a peaceful sleep.

I headed home to catch a few hours of sleep, but I felt energized and hopeful for a new treatment plan. I found my old iPod and filled it with piano melodies before climbing into my own bed. I caught a whiff of my pillow and I could smell Tanya's perfume. I actually wished she was here; I was in a better mood and could actually be decent to her.

I considered calling her, knowing Jane was with James tonight, but I thought better of it and rolled over to go to sleep. I didn't bother eating breakfast the next morning and grabbed some coffee on the way to work. I was too excited to see if Bella would react to the music.

I headed into my office and then waited for her. She arrived at the doorway like she usually did and smiled at me with jelly on her mouth. "I have a gift for you," I said enthusiastically. She came into my office and up to my desk. I held out the iPod and let her stare at it for a moment or two.

I put the buds in her ears and turned it on. She turned her back to me and walked over to a chair. She stood there for a moment or two and then turned around to face me. Her face looked different; as if the muscles had developed from expressions I had never seen her use. Her chin was higher than usual and she gave me a wry smile before lowering her head and looking up seductively with her eyes.

It made me uncomfortable to see her looking at me like that. It wasn't a face a child would make. I held my hand out for the iPod and she instantly removed it and handed it to me. Her expression went right back to normal and she walked over to look out the window.

I knew I had witnessed something important regarding Bella's development, but for the life of me I had no idea what it was.


	3. Chapter 3

On the outside it seemed music was the key to unlocking Bella's mind. I got her a little keyboard but she stared at it like she had no idea how to use it. I played a few songs and she looked up at me with a blank expression.

Later in the week I heard music coming from her room. She was sitting in a chair and playing a complicated melody. I stood in the doorway to watch her and without raising her eyes she spoke with a very distinct accent and said, "Come on in, Edward."

It wasn't just her words that shocked me, but the sound of her voice. It was nothing like I had expected. I walked over to kneel in front of her and she put her bare foot onto my knee and rested it there. I took hold of it and lowered it back to the ground. She finally looked up at me and smiled in the way that made me uncomfortable.

"Where did you learn to play piano?" I asked her.

"I like to play," she said with a husky, sultry voice.

"Did your mother teach you?" I asked.

She giggled loudly and then touched her ear, telling me no. I would have preferred she tell me with her words, but the fact she was speaking at all was miraculous. I reached out to take the small keyboard from her hands and when I did she turned her face and stared blankly at the wall.

I handed it back to her, but she let it fall from her lap onto the ground. I walked out of the room in hopes she would pick it up again, but she soon followed me and became my shadow again. She never spoke to me again, no matter how much music I played for her.

The night shift reports never told me if she played again, since they were most likely not really watching her. I returned to my efforts to get her to enjoy being outdoors. When she was capable of sitting on the grass and letting me walk a few feet away I decided to have Tanya bring Jane for a visit.

Jane was only four and a very precocious child. She was full of energy and refused to listen to any form of discipline from Tanya. It drove me crazy to be around the child, but I didn't want to offer suggestions because I never planned on being her stepfather.

I was sitting with Bella on the grass when Tanya pulled up. I pointed over to the SUV and said, "Some friends of mine are going to come join us. Their names are Tanya and Jane. I think you'll like Jane."

Bella glanced over and when she saw them coming in our direction she let her head fall. Tanya stayed back on the sidewalk and looked at Bella with contempt. "She's a tiny thing for twelve," she said.

I gave her a warning look and then said, "Bella, this is Tanya and her daughter Jane. This is my friend Bella."

"Your friend?" Tanya questioned, and then laughed loudly.

I stood and brushed off my pants before coming to the sidewalk to speak to Tanya. Jane began jumping around and quickly took her shoes off to be like Bella. I looked at Tanya and said with a forceful whisper, "Just remain quiet and let me lead."

We both watched as Jane ran around and Bella watched her closely. She eventually collapsed next to Bella and said, "Do you live here?"

Bella touched her lip but Jane didn't know what it meant. Jane looked at me and asked, "Is this your daughter?"

"No," I said and Tanya laughed. "Bella is my friend," I repeated.

"How come she doesn't talk?" Jane asked, and looked back at Bella again.

"She talks sometimes," I offered, and Bella looked up at me with a confused expression. "Why don't you tell her all about yourself, Jane."

I led Tanya a few steps away and stood with my back to the girls. I could hear Jane talking non-stop and I looked into Tanya's eyes before saying, "I really hope Jane can get her to talk."

"She looks crazy," Tanya said, without any regard to what Bella had been through.

I kept my mouth shut and tried to focus on what I could hear going on behind me. Tanya took hold of my tie and pulled me to her lips a couple of times. Suddenly Bella shot up and rushed over to my side. She grabbed Tanya's long, strawberry blond hair and pulled as she screamed like a madwoman.

I had to wrench the hair out of Bella's hand as I begged her to let go. Tanya grabbed onto Jane and backed into the parking lot to get away from where Bella and I were struggling. I finally got her around the waist and rushed her into the building. I sat her firmly in a chair and said, "What is wrong with you? That was very mean to do to Tanya."

Bella touched her ear over and over again and I ended up shaking her by the arms and yelling, "Talk to me damn it."

Her little hand grabbed onto my tie and pulled me to her mouth, sticking her tongue expertly down my throat. I pushed her back harshly as I stumbled backward in shock. She sat back in the chair and faded off into the glazed stare she used so often.

I covered my mouth, still tasting her saliva mixing with mine. I felt dirty, and perverted. She was a child and I never viewed her as anything else. I walked over to the buzzer and asked a nurse to come retrieve Bella. I walked right over to the administration office and turned in my resignation. I didn't give them any time to find another doctor and I left my office filled with personal things.

I got into my car and drove away, swearing never to return to the horrible building again. I ended things with Tanya and became a partner in a private practice. Jasper Whitlock was not much older than me, but he had wisdom far beyond his years. I vowed to learn as much from him as possible.

I brought him home for Thanksgiving one year and he met my sister Alice. She was a design student at a fashion school in Paris. They hit it off immediately and I felt a bit jealous that he found a woman he was in love with. I began to think it would never happen for me.

When Jasper's best friend came to him for marriage counseling he referred them to me. I waited behind my desk for them to arrive. Emmett walked in first. He was a jovial guy with a quick smile. His large stature was a bit intimidating, but his gentle nature put you right at ease.

His fiancée was a rich girl from New York. She had an attitude right from the start and I realized why Jasper pushed them off onto me.

I sat across from them and began our session. "What is it you would like to accomplish with counseling?" I asked.

"I just want to make my girl happy," Emmett offered.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and said, "I just want him to stop being such a wuss and man up once in awhile."

I saw so much of Tanya in Rosalie and wondered if they were perhaps related. I tried to smile and asked, "Give me an example of what your definition of manning up would be," I pressed her.

'He needs to tell his father to suck it and take over the company," she declared. Emmett let his head fall in shame and refused to say anything.

"So you think a son should run roughshod over his father to prove his manliness?" I asked just to clarify.

"They are hillbillies," she said, as if that would change my view of anything. "Emmett is an educated man and he would do a better job running things."

"There are many successful college dropouts," I said and then ignored her reaction. "You might be confusing manners for weakness."

Emmett chuckled and said, "I'm from the South, she hates it when my accent sneaks out."

For some reason my mind went straight to Bella. I hadn't thought of her for years and wondered exactly where she was from in the south. I was deep in thought when I realized Rose had been speaking and I missed it all. I finally interrupted her and said, "Do you have children?"

Emmett shook his head in remorse and the flash of anger in Rose's eyes told me I had hit on a sensitive subject. She finally answered by saying, "I'm not going to be a broodmare like his mother. They have six kids," she said in an indignant tone.

I looked at her husband and asked, "Do you want a large family?"

He shrugged his large shoulders and then said, "I like kids, I wouldn't mind."

"I like kids too," Rose said angrily, "I just don't want an entire sports team of them."

"Well," I said gently, "It sounds to me like you agree on having children, so let's move onto partnership roles. Rose, do you work?"

Her eyes grew wide and she looked at me with absolute indignation. "No, it is the man's job to provide."

"But you aren't happy with the way he is providing, so what do you plan to do to help out?"

Emmett and I both looked at her stunned face and she finally leaned against her husband's side and said, "Honey, you don't want me to work, do you?"

He looked at me sheepishly and I nodded to offer some of my strength. He finally said, "Maybe you wouldn't be so disappointed in me if you had something of your own to work on."

"I have plenty to do," she said loudly. "I cook, and clean, and service you."

I began to laugh and she looked over at me with narrowed eyes. I leaned toward Emmett and said, "Do you consider sex payment for providing for Rosalie?"

He was a bit flustered and ran his hand through his short curly hair as if it was long and bothersome. He glanced at his wife and then looked back at me. "I guess," he finally admitted.

I looked at Rosalie and expected her to go ballistic, but she smiled lovingly at her husband. I chuckled and sat back in my chair. I didn't know couples like this existed and I was glad I was free and single now. I wrote down the title of two books for them to read and then continued on with the session.

I concentrated at Rosalie's history. She came from a wealthy home where her father never participated in family activities. She was the older of two girls and saw men as providers, not partners. She met Emmett in College and they dated for several years before she would commit to a blue collar man.

I gave them an assignment to work on and then set up a follow up appointment. I walked them from the room and we ran into Jasper in the waiting area. We all chatted casually and after his friends left he followed me into my office.

"You owe me big time," I said in exhaustion. "God, she's a shrew."

"She'll grow on you," he said with a laugh. He sat in the chair in front of my desk and sighed loudly. It was odd for Jasper to be so melancholy. He was usually constant in his emotions. I waited for him to say something and he finally shook his head and said, "I've got a difficult client."

"Harder than Rose?" I asked with my eyebrows high.

"She comes to our sessions and hardly speaks. She sits there and stutters and mumbles but then says how much I'm helping her. I'm not doing shit. I think she just likes the company or something."

"Harboring a crush?" I asked him.

"No, nothing like that. She's young, like twenty-one or something."

I thought of Bella who at the age of twelve rocked my socks with a kiss to rival any grown woman. "Well, just be careful," I offered.

He nodded and then stood before saying, "Let's go for a drink. Somewhere dark and loud to decompress."

It sounded perfect for me and I knew just the place. Close to the wharf a seedy club existed, but the liquor was strong and the prices were cheap. We closed up the office and walked among the Thursday crowd toward the bay. We stepped into the club and had to let our eyes adjust to the darkness.

We headed to the bar and ordered strong drinks. I spun around on the stool and saw a woman scantily clad with a neon pink wig climb onto her table. She gyrated seductively and turned to look right at me, raising her finger to gesture me forward.


	4. Chapter 4

4

The bartender set my drink on the counter and yelled loudly for the girl to get off of his table. She laughed loudly and jumped down from the table, exposing her thong panties. I turned around and took a sip of my drink. I looked at Jasper and said, "So this girl that never speaks…is she pretty?"

Jasper laughed and shook his head back and forth adamantly. "She's the literal definition of mousy. She doesn't wear any makeup and dresses in large bulky fitting clothing." He glanced at the girl in the neon wig and said, "Maybe we can stick them both in a bag and come out with one decent looking girl."

I glanced over to where he was looking and noticed how much makeup the girl was wearing. She had black eyeliner circling her eyes and glittered powder on her lids. She had gotten off the table, but she was still dancing provocatively. Her tiny skirt flipped up with each move and her tight halter top left nothing to the imagination.

She let her head fall back and yelled up at the ceiling, "Who in this fucking place wants to dance with me?" Her strong accent caught my attention and I turned around on the stool and watched her as I took another gulp of my drink.

She saw me looking at her and turned her body to face mine and danced exclusively for me. She raised her hands into the air and I noticed just how long her limbs were. She was tall and lithe with a tight body, but no overt muscles.

She looked young, maybe eighteen, and I wondered why the owner was letting her remain here. I wanted to look away, but something about her captivated me. I wasn't sure if it was her minimal clothing or her dark alluring eyes, but something stopped me from turning away.

She eventually stopped dancing and moved to sit on the table, still facing me. She smiled widely and then stuck her finger in her mouth, licking it until it gleamed with her saliva. She slowly let it fall and stuck her hand under her small skirt and into her panties.

"Jesus," I muttered and Jasper turned to look at what I was staring at.

She closed her eyes and moved her own finger in and out of her body as I stared in stunned silence. I found myself wanting to see her cum, feeling the entire display was for me. I was breathing deeply and secretly getting hard.

"Do you two want to be alone?" Jasper asked, and punched my arm.

I forced myself to look away and said, "God, can you believe it? Where were these girls when I was in college?"

"At frat parties," Jasper laughed.

I laughed and finished my drink in one last gulp. I glanced over my shoulder and saw the back of my private dancer walking out the door. I was relieved she left and I wouldn't be tempted to try and pick her up. I would have sore balls tomorrow, but it was better than dealing with someone like the girl in pink.

I was now able to focus on Jasper and his difficult patient. I mentioned my work with Bella and how music seemed to open her up a bit. He listened and nodded as if considering my words. We finally parted and I headed home to my midtown apartment.

I showered and then made some dinner. I ended up falling asleep as I read a text book. I was only thirty-four but I was living like an old man. I got into the office around ten the next morning. I had an appointment with a regular. He came every month for years, but never seemed to make any progress. He thought it was trendy to have a therapist, but didn't feel he actually needed one.

I called him into my office and said, "It's nice to see you Marcus, how are you doing?"

"Wonderful, great," he said, as he always did.

"Any progress with the wife?" I asked.

He shook his head quickly but then said, "I've met a young woman, very young. She makes me feel like I'm a teenager again."

I groaned at the thought of a stereotypical midlife crisis. "Tell me about the relationship," I said, only half paying attention.

"My driver pulled up to a red light and I saw this angel standing on the corner. I looked at her and she met my gaze. She walked over to the car and bent over. I could see right down her shirt and she wasn't wearing a bra. I thought maybe she was a prostitute, but she just wanted to talk. The entire time she would spread her legs and lean over, exposing her chest, but she never let me touch her and she never asked me for money."

"So you're intrigued by her originality, not actually having a relationship," I said, hoping he wouldn't try to convince me he was in love.

"I want to give her money, but I don't want to offend her," he said as if it was a terrible dilemma.

"Why do you think she needs money?" I asked, and then stifled a yawn.

Marcus furrowed his thick bushy bow and tried to explain. "Her clothing looks like she has to alter old things. Like she shops at a thrift store but then tries to make the clothes sexy."

I chewed on my pen as he talked about the girl he knew nothing about for close to an hour. I finally said, "Marcus, go home, make love to your wife and forget about the girl who has the attention of your dick."

He laughed as he stood; since he never listened to me he wasn't offended by my assessment of his newfound love. He left and I answered a few phone messages before a soft knock could be heard on my door. I called for someone to enter and I was surprised to see it was Jasper.

"I'm going to refer the quiet girl to you. I can't get anywhere with her." I could see his frustration and I remembered that feeling with Bella. I wanted so badly to reach her but I did all the wrong things.

I wanted to offer him encouragement so I said, "You probably do more for her than you realize, and she keeps coming back doesn't she?"

Jasper nodded and walked around my office with his hands behind his back. She looked like a military officer deciding whether to charge a hill or not. He stood with erect posture and his blonde hair was a bit long for a professional.

I asked about Alice to get his mind off of his troubles, but he shook his hands at me to keep me from interrupting his thoughts. I sat back and waited for him to come to some sort of conclusion. I was interested to see what he would come up with. I admired Jasper and liked the way his mind worked.

"I need to find some background information, a family member or something to let me know what this girl has been through."

"Did you look at her registration information?" I asked him.

"She gave Debbie her correct insurance information but the rest of it was all garbage, like she didn't understand the questions."

"What's her name?" I asked, curious more than anything.

"Odyne, and I don't know if it is her first or last name. I just call her darlin," he chuckled, since he was from Georgia.

"Why don't you introduce me to her and see her reaction. If she shuts down you know she should stay with you. If she seems open to another therapist, I'll give it a shot."

"Yeah, that's a good idea," he said, and it made me feel a bit of pride that I came up with an idea he liked.

I made it through the rest of the day and ended up staying late on a Friday night just to read up on some of Odyne's file. Jasper was obviously a parental figure for her, taking on a role of trusted advisor. He didn't come right out and ask specific questions. He spoke around a topic and noted her reactions. I was curious to meet her now.

I locked up the office about nine and walked toward my apartment. It was a long walk but it felt great after sitting in an office all day. The city lights were beginning to dim as the retail establishments began to close. The neon lights of night were humming to life.

I saw a group of people waiting outside a club and my attention was drawn to the sight of a neon pink wig. I changed my position on the sidewalk so I would have to pass right by her. I smiled when she looked at me and said, "Hello again."

Her head fell to the side and she looked at me curiously. I suddenly felt embarrassed by assuming she would remember me. I stuck my hands in my pockets and said, "I saw you on the wharf last night. You were dancing on the table."

She laughed and shook her head. "I usually don't remember what I do night to night, but it sounds like me."

Her accent was so thick I wondered if she just recently moved here. "Where are you from?" I asked her.

She raised her hands and looked around, "From here."

I laughed and explained further, "I mean originally, where your accent comes from?"

She walked toward me and I nervously stood my ground. I wasn't about to let this little girl rattle me. She came right up to my body, pressing herself against me so I could see her up close. Her skin was flawless but the makeup distorted her looks. It was too thick and I was curious to see what she would look with a washed face.

"I'm from here, I've never left here, and I'll die here," she said, and then grabbed my crotch with her hand. I gasped and jumped back as she laughed loudly.

Everyone around us seemed to ignore her, like she wasn't with anyone but just hanging around. I took a step back toward her and asked outright, "What's your name?"

She frowned and said with a baby voice, "I'm not telling. What will you call me?"

I wasn't sure if she was on drugs or mentally ill, but I worried about her safety. I looked around at the crowd and then said, "Who are you with?"

She smiled and looked around like I did before saying, "I'm with you."

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, you're not with me," I assured her. "I'm headed home from work." She had on a tiny t-shirt and raised it up to expose her breasts. I quickly grabbed her hands and pulled them back down. "Don't," I said firmly.

"You're no fun," she said in her baby voice again. She moved away from me and began twirling in circles on the sidewalk. I watched her for a moment and then walked over to speak to the bouncer outside of the club.

"Do you know the girl?" I asked nodding at her as she danced.

"She comes around sometimes," he said as he shook his head. "I never let her in because she doesn't bring identification. Some of the clubs let her in because she always seems to have money, most likely doing John's."

"Is she on drugs or is it a mental issue?" I asked, as if a bouncer would have a better diagnosis than me.

He shrugged and I nodded with embarrassment for asking him. I heard her squeal and looked over to see an expensive car pull up to the sidewalk. A man was sitting in the backseat and I recognized him as my patient Marcus. I watched the girl jumped into his car and then speed away.

"Oh dear Lord," I sighed, and continued on my way home. I couldn't get the girl out of my mind. She wasn't sleeping with Marcus or taking his money, so what was she after? I decided to warn him of her mental state, without coming right out and admitting I know who his new love is.

I had to ask myself why I was so drawn to the girl. She was vile, crude, and obviously a bit touched. But I thought about her all weekend long. She seemed to bewitch everyone she came in contact with, and I was certainly under her spell.


	5. Chapter 5

5

I spent Sunday at my parents' home. Alice and Jasper were cuddled up in a chair watching a movie so I headed to the music room to play around on the piano. I sat in silence as I remembered the little melody Bella would play. I used my right hand and played the tune as I closed my eyes and pictured her tiny, emaciated body.

My father came into the room, to see me brooding. He knew something was up and joined me on the bench. "Is there a problem, son?"

I smiled, wondering just how old I would have to be for him to stop worrying about me. Dad had retired years ago, but I still decided to ask the one thing that haunted me. "I've been thinking about Bella a lot lately. I wonder what happened to her."

He patted me on the back and said, "After a relative came forward she was taken from the hospital. It is all I know."

"Did they give any answers to what happened to her?" I asked, knowing it was a fruitless effort. I knew my father wouldn't be privileged to that information, but I hoped he had picked up a little gossip along the way.

He shook his head and then pressed me about what caused me to leave the hospital. I lied of course, telling him I couldn't take the depressing atmosphere. My father knew me well and I was certain he didn't believe a word of it.

"I ran into Tanya the other day," he said to completely depress me.

"Ah," I groaned, not wanting to hear that name, "You didn't tell her anything about me did you?"

"She's single again," he chuckled, and it didn't surprise me. She was so desperate to marry I was certain she would rush into it with someone she hardly knew. I put my hands on the keys and began to play so my dad left the room and left me to my brooding.

Monday morning Jasper asked me to sit in on his session with Odyne. I was standing in the waiting room with Debbie when she walked through the door. She had her dark hair pulled back into a tight bun, tugging on her face in an uncomfortable way. She looked chubby, wearing layers of clothing although her cheekbones stuck out and her cheeks were hallowed.

She didn't look up and walked right to Jasper's office door and went in. Debbie looked at me and rolled her eyes. I tried not to respond and headed to the door and knocked before entering. Jasper welcomed me into his office and explained to the girl huddled in the chair that I was his partner.

She wouldn't look at me and wouldn't shake the hand I offered to her. I pulled a chair over to the corner of the room and sat just behind her left side. She never turned her head or acknowledged my presence.

"How have you been, darlin?" he began.

Her mouth opened as she struggled to say something. I sounded like, "Day of time, mostly."

Jasper looked at me and I shrugged, having no idea what she meant. He sat back in his chair and stared at her as he chewed on the side of his reading glasses. He finally said, "Tell Dr. Cullen your full name."

She whispered something unintelligible and seemed to be pulling into a ball. I sat forward and Jasper repeated the request a little more forcefully. She began to shake under the pile of clothing and I gave Jasper a warning gaze. He exhaled sharply and then pushed her a bit further to speak.

I didn't know what his purpose was, but I didn't like how fast she seemed to be breaking down. I was ready to intervene when he suddenly stood and said, "If you won't do as I say I cannot help you, maybe Dr. Cullen is willing to take you on as a patient." He stormed from the room, giving me the opportunity to play the good guy to his bad guy routine.

I scooted closer to her and said very softly, "I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me your name. I want to be your friend, but only when you feel ready."

She stopped shaking but her body remained curled up so I kept speaking to her. "I don't know what happened to you, but I can promise I'm only here to help. It is scary to trust a stranger isn't it?" I asked, without expecting a response.

She shocked me by reaching up and tapping her lip in response to my words. I felt like a bolt of lightning shot through my body. "Oh my God," I whispered. I scooted closer, trying to see her better but nothing about her was familiar. I knew the child, but never the woman from long ago.

I reached out and touched her stretched hair softly. "Bella, is it you?" I asked in a hushed whisper.

She jerked away from me and jumped from the chair and ran from the office. I chased after her, calling her name but she got away when Jasper grabbed my arm. "What are you doing?" he asked in shock.

I turned in a panic and yelled to Debbie, "What is her name? Check the insurance and get her real name," I demanded.

Debbie grabbed her file and picked up the phone and began to dial. I was shaking myself and went into my office when I noticed Jasper looking at me like he would have to inject me with something. I sat at my desk and folded my hands together to calm down. I wasn't about to tell him what I suspected, especially if I was wrong and the girl had nothing to do with Bella.

Debbie walked in and handed me a slip of paper that read_, Marie Harris_. I crumpled the paper and tossed it onto the floor before asking, "Who in the hell is Odyne? It isn't a name you would use like Jane Doe."

Jasper and Debbie shrugged so I turned to my computer and looked up the word. "Jesus," I muttered as I saw it was the Greek Goddess of pain. I turned the screen so Jasper could see it and he stared at me as we both realized how badly we had screwed up.

"Do you have an address?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"If she comes in again make her give you an address," I instructed.

"Do you seriously think she'll ever come back here? Shit, I practically rejected her to her face," Jasper said and walked over to kick the wall with his expensive loafers.

I was useless the rest of the day. I couldn't concentrate on anything and I tried to come up with anyway possible to find out more on Bella. I finally called Angela and left a message for her to call me. I hadn't seen her for years, but I knew she was a kind person and would at least confirm if I was out of my mind to think Marie was Bella.

At the end of the day I headed home and changed into jeans and tennis shoes before doing the next thing to prove I was losing my mind. I began making the rounds at the clubs, trying to find the girl in the pink wig.

It was close to midnight when I finally saw her in a park sitting alone on a park bench. It was dangerous to sit in the dark in the middle of a large city, but she didn't appear nervous when I walked up to her. She glanced up and didn't seem to recognize me. "Hello again," I said and smiled. "I seem to run into you all over the place."

She didn't have her quick smile she usually wore and her smudged makeup let me know she had been crying. "Is something wrong?" I asked her.

"I had a doll," she said with her thick accent. "It was such a perdy doll. But the face cracked, it was made out of…um….like glass kinda."

Porcelain," I said, and she nodded quickly.

"Why would anybody make a perdy doll out of porcelain?" she asked as tears filled her eyes.

I sat on the bench seat as she remained on the top. "Most Porcelain dolls are to put on a shelf to look at, not to play with. They are too fragile to play with," I tried to explain.

She sniffed and wiped her nose on the sleeve on her arm. "Ya," she said softly, "She should have stayed on the shelf."

"It's late," I said and looked around the park. "Can I take you to your house; it might be dangerous to walk alone."

She smiled and raised her leg to set her foot on the table top, exposing her crotch without any panties. I was sitting even with what she was showing me and I couldn't force myself to look away. I reached up slowly and ran my hand up her smooth leg. I hooked my palm under her knee and then lowered her leg to cover herself.

She scooted off the table top and slid down the front of my body, trapping her body between me and the bench. I could smell a candy scent, or possibly a Popsicle or Kool Aid. She wrapped her arms around my neck and put her head on my shoulder. I didn't know if she meant it to be seductive, but it made me feel protective and nothing sexual.

I patted her back and ran my hand up and down her spine softly. Her legs wrapped around me and locked behind my back and then I felt her entire body relax. I got the impression she would fall asleep, held tightly on my lap. I spoke up and said, "What's your name?"

"Baby Doll," she responded.

I smiled and said quietly, "Such a perdy baby doll."

She raised her face to look at me and I saw the tears making a path through her thick makeup. She leaned in very slowly and placed her lips lightly to mine, not actually kissing me, but brushing our lips across each other's.

I pulled back and said, "Come on, let me walk you home."

She climbed off of me, not bothering to keep her skirt down and then smiled widely before turning a running away from me, deeper into the park. I waited for a few minutes to see if she would return and then headed home.

I was feeling like I was tied in knots. I was praying Marie was Bella so I could hopefully help her in a way I wasn't able to before. I was falling for an odd young woman who drove me insane with desire but had no redeeming qualities. I had no idea who she was but I couldn't stop thinking about her.

I got in bed and instantly feel asleep. I dreamed of Marie, loaded down with her thick clothing. I kept trying to remove her coat but another one appeared in its place. I opened my office window and yelled for Bella, screaming through the entire city for her to come to my office. I turned around to see Baby Doll, lying naked on my couch, holding her arms out for me. I wanted her desperately but when I fell onto her body she disappeared.

I woke up in a cold sweat, a rock hard boner, and a foreboding sense of dread. I was thirty-four, successful, and falling apart over three disturbed women. I knew I needed some counseling of my own and decided to see my father professionally. It would take a lot for me to admit my failures to him, but I trusted his expertise.

The next morning I was walking to work when my cell phone rang. I answered to find Angela returning my call. We chatted for a minute and then I got right to the point. "Hey Ang, do you remember the young girl Bella?"

"Sure," she said quickly.

"Do you know who came forward to claim her?"

I was holding my breath as she took a second to think. I needed her to know the answer for my own sanity. She finally said, "It was a grandmother, her father died in prison and his mother came forward to find the girl."

I had to force myself to contain my excitement and asked, "Do you happen to remember the woman's name?"

"No, but the address is in Bella's file, do you want me to get it for you?"

I couldn't believe she was willing to do something so blatantly against policy and patient privilege, but I wasn't about to question her ethics. I acted blasé and said, "If you can, that would be great."

"I call you later," she said and I hung up. I continued on to work with an extra spring in my step.


	6. Chapter 6

6

I had another session with Emmett and Rosalie today. I tried to be professional and concentrate on their issues. I asked if they read the books and Rose began telling me everything she didn't agree with. I noticed Emmett was extra quiet so I asked for his opinions.

He nodded at Rose and said, "I agree with her."

I looked him right in the eye and asked, "Did you actually read the books?"

He glanced at his wife and then shook his head sadly and looked at his hands before saying, "Rosalie read them and then told me about it."

I laughed and had to give the woman props for getting her viewpoint front and center in the guy's psyche. I looked at her and said, "He needs to read them for himself and come up with his own opinions."

She glared at me and said, "He has his own opinions, I just told him what the books were about."

I slid my foot to knock into Emmett's and he raised his head to look at me. "Read the books or I'll order a pap smear for you next week."

"That is offensive," Rosalie said angrily.

"Yeah, well, if he doesn't read them I'm scheduling you for a circumcision."

I knew I was being offensive, but Emmett wasn't capable of standing up to his wife so I sure in the hell was going to give it a try. Rosalie sneered at me and then turned her chair in a different direction. It was childish, but I allowed it since I was being so offensive.

We discussed their assignment and I issued another one before my ringing cell phone interrupted the session. I saw it was from Angela so I excused myself and took the call. She gave me an address, close to the park. It was an older, run down area and I worried even more for Bella's outcome.

I finished with Emmett and Rose and then told Debbie I would be gone to a dentist appointment. I don't know why I lied to her, but I wasn't sure what I would find. If Bella was Marie I would share it with them, but until I knew for sure I would keep everything close to the vest.

I took a cab to the park and then walked from there. I found the address and the house was peeling paint and the roof was growing moss. I walked up to the porch which contained an old, molding sofa. I knocked and prepared myself for the possibility Bella would answer. Instead a woman in a wheelchair answered.

She was old with foggy eyes and unkempt hair. I knelt down to speak even to her and asked if she was Bella's grandmother. "Is she in trouble?" the woman asked and my heart sped up in response.

"No, I'm an old friend and I would like to speak to her. Is she home?"

"I don't see very well," she complained and moved her wheelchair away from the door. I followed her inside and saw the place was filled with junk. Only a small path existed for her to move around in. I looked for any sign of Bella, but the house was so filthy I had to call out for her.

Nobody answered so I made my way around the grandmother to look in the back rooms. I opened a door and found a messy bed with clothes piled up in every corner. I opened another door that exposed a bathroom. I saw baskets of toiletries and makeup and when I moved to close the door something caught my attention.

I walked into the small bathroom and shut the door so see a towel lying on the ground. I picked it up to expose a bright pink wig lying underneath. I rushed from the room, holding the wig in my hand and shook it angrily in front of the grandmother's weak eyes.

"Is this Bella's," I screamed.

She leaned forward and reached out to touch the synthetic piece. "Is it a cat?" she asked. "I haven't seen the cat for a while."

"Where's Bella?" I asked as bile filed my throat.

"There's some cartons in the back room," she said and raised her knobby fingers to point.

I threw the wig to the ground and rushed from the house. I was desperate to find her and feeling sick for the thoughts I had harbored about the odd girl in the pink wig. I ran through the park and searching for any sign of her.

I realized I wasn't sure what she looked like without the bright pink wig. I would have to wait until nightfall and search the clubs for her. I made my away to area clubs and passed out my card to the bouncers, asking them to call at the first sight of Baby Doll.

It was close to eleven when I sat at a bar drinking and realized where Bella could be. I rushed to my office and got Marcus's home phone number. His wife answered and told me he was at a business meeting. I called his cell phone and he answered as if being terribly bothered.

I clinched my teeth and closed my eyes tightly as I fought with myself to calm down. "Marcus, are you with your girlfriend?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Are you really calling me for this purpose?" he asked.

I cussed seriously and then tried to say calmly. "Marcus, if you lay a finger on her I will call the police and have you arrested."

"She isn't a minor," he yelled angrily.

"But she is my patient," I exaggerated. "She is not mentally capable of consent, and I'll make sure you go away for a long time. I swear to God Marcus, you better go home immediately."

I could hear him cover the receiver and I pounded on my desk with my fist. Marcus never listened to me and I couldn't expect him to do it now. I finally said, "Where are you, I'll come get her."

He finally sighed and said, "I'm at the Executive Suites."

"I'm coming," I said and hung up the phone.

I ran downstairs and caught a cab. When I arrived at the hotel Marcus was standing out front alone. He came up to my window and said, "She ran. I told her you were coming and she took off."

"Are you lying to me?" I asked, ready to rip his head off if I caught any sign of deceit.

"No, and I never touched the girl, it wasn't like that," he said. "She just liked to show me her body and talk."

I nodded, believing him since it was what she had done with me. I told the driver to go to various clubs as I kept an eye out for her. I couldn't find her so I headed to the park. I walked to her house and sat on the old, diseased sofa on her front porch to wait for her to come home.

I waited for two hours, closing my eyes to catch a few moments of sleep, before I heard her walk up to the door and pull out a key. I called her name softly and she gasped and spun around to look at me. Her eyes looked terrified and she turned to run.

I sprang from the sofa and tackled her in the front yard. She didn't scream but she kicked and punched at me. I finally pinned her to the ground and held her arms down as I sat on top of her. I was panting heavily as I stared down at her face. I reached out and pulled the wig from her head, revealing her mop of dark hair.

She spit at me, hitting right in the face with her saliva. I wiped my face with the bottom of my shirt and then covered her mouth with my hand. "Are you Bella?" I asked her.

She stopped fighting and went limp. I moved my hand and asked again, "Are you Bella, the little girl who lived at the State Hospital?"

She reached up and touched her lip with her finger and I moved off of her, collapsing at her side and burying my face in my arms. "Oh God," I groaned. "What have I done?"

Bella stood and picked up her wig, placing it on her head without hiding her dark hair. She began to twirl around as she hummed a tune. I looked up at her and felt my eyes fill with tears. I stood slowly and she stopped dancing and looked over at me.

"Look," she giggled and spoke with her accent, pointing up at the moon. "It isn't made of cheese."

I walked over and took hold of her hand. "Bella, I want to help you," I begged.

She kept my hand in hers and moved them between her legs. I closed my eyes letting the tears spill over. She whispered as she moved my hand back and forth. "It isn't real you know. It all fades away."

I pulled my hand away from her body and then wrapped her in my arms. I held her tightly; stroking her hair as I gently rocked her. I promised her it would be okay and I would fix everything for her. I knew it wasn't true, but I was determined to try. The world had turned its back on her, leaving her broken like a porcelain doll. I wouldn't give up on her.

I finally let her out of my arms and told her to go inside and get some rest. I gave her one of my cards and asked her to call me the next day. She smiled and put her finger in her mouth, biting it wantonly as she backed her way into the house.

I waited for the lights to turn off before I headed through the dark park alone. I got to my apartment and looked at my office to see if I could move the desk into another space and move Bella into the room. It wasn't something a therapist should do, but Bella was a special case. I felt confident I could help her since I knew who her family was and I could get information about her past.

My phone rang and I answered to hear a bouncer tell me he just saw Baby Doll show up at closing. She got in a car with a man he didn't know. I thanked him for the information and then sat in the dark drinking vodka until the images running through my head stopped.

I passed out at dawn and when I didn't answer my phone Jasper called my parents. My father showed up with his own key and let himself in, praying he didn't find my bloody body lying on the floor. Instead he found my drunken body passed out on the sofa.

He helped me into my bed and left me to sleep it off. I woke in the afternoon with a horrible headache. I dragged myself to the kitchen and took some aspirin to stop my head from pounding. I saw a note from my father asking me to call when I woke up.

I was ashamed of myself and took a shower and shaved before I headed to my dad's house to get some of the help I desperately needed. I entered the house and saw my mother arranging some flowers. She gave me a disappointed look and I held up my hand to stop her from commenting.

"I'm really fragile right now, so can we save the lecture for later?" I asked.

"I'm not going to lecture you, dear. I know it must be something big to make you act so irresponsibly."

She meant to sound loving, but it hurt to hear my mother call me irresponsible. I headed to my father's office and found him sitting at his desk. I walked in and shut the door. I had wanted to follow in his footsteps, but my father was a better man than me.

"Dad, I'm coming unraveled," I admitted.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked, giving me his full attention.

I tried to think how to begin, how to sum up all the mistakes I had made and how to explain how I felt. I finally shook my head and admitted in shame, "It is all about Bella. I found her and I want to help her."

"That's very noble," he said.

I shook my head, needing him to see the real problem. I finally confessed, "I'm in love with her. She's completely disturbed and I'm not sure she can be helped, but I can't stop myself from wanting her."

My father didn't respond and continued to stare at me. I knew what that meant, he was giving me time to think about my statement and revise it. He was sure I was thinking with my dick and not my brain. I had to make him understand the depth of my obsession, so I didn't revise and I didn't try to make excuses. I sat quietly too and let the truth sink in to his mind.


	7. Chapter 7

7

I'm sure it is difficult for a parent to see the weaknesses their own children deal with. Nobody purposefully adds stress to their children's lives. They hold high hopes and try to make every right decision they can. My father needed to unburden his own guilt and said some things I never thought I would hear from him.

"Edward, you were a smart boy and I'm afraid we pushed you too much. You were in college by sixteen, when most boys think about prom and stealing a kiss."

I laughed and realized the difference in our generations. "Nowadays sixteen year olds are sexting and having babies for their own reality shows," I pointed out.

"Yes, I suppose so," he smiled, "But my point is, we didn't give you time to be a teenager. Then you were in a relationship with Tanya, who wanted you to be an instant father. I'm afraid you are attracted to Bella because your own development was interrupted."

I couldn't deny his theory, because it made sense and I would have to consider it as I worked my way through this mess. I spent over two hours with my father in his office. We came to a conclusion that Bella needed to be committed. She needed a full evaluation and twenty-four hour hospital care. I wouldn't consider the State Hospital, but I would admit her to the medical hospital where I was on staff.

I planned to get her grandmother to sign the papers and hopefully make Bella agree to come in on her own. If not, I would get a court order. I left the house feeling like I was doing something positive to help her. I had a glimmer of hope and went right to my office to get my ass together for tomorrow.

I walked in to find Jasper was still there. He gave me an angry stare and I nodded in agreement. He had every right to be angry so I didn't fight it. "I screwed up," I admitted. "But it won't happen again."

"Odyne come by today. I really needed you here, Edward."

I was totally surprised the girl returned. It had to be a good sign. I sat on the edge of Debbie's desk and asked, "Did you mention the name?"

"No," he said with more anger. "I wanted you to bring it up. We need to approach this as a team. She came back so she obviously wants help."F

I took a deep breath, not sure I had the energy for another deeply disturbed person. I decided to let Jasper know what was going on. "Look, I found a patient from long ago. She needs my help and it will take all of my time."

"Who is she?" he asked.

"Her name is Bella. I knew her in the state hospital and I …."

"Didn't you call Marie Bella?" He asked and I could see the confusion all over his face.

"Yeah," I admitted with embarrassment. "Bella always touched her lip to mean yes. When Marie did it I instantly thought of Bella. I called the State Hospital and got her address. I found out she is the girl with the pink wig, the one we saw at the bar on the wharf."

"Jesus," he muttered and shook his head for a moment. "I was worried about your intervention with Marie, but are you sure you're ready for something like Bella?"

His lack of faith in my professionalism offended me greatly. I was fully capable of working with someone on the level of Bella. I had figured out Odyne's name too, he didn't.

I headed to my office and said, "Thanks Jasper, I really needed that right now."

He tried to apologize but I shut my door in his face. I sat at my desk and began documenting every single encounter with Bella. I would need the information for court if it went that far. I noticed she showed classic signs of sexual abuse. She flirted, taunted, used her body for attention, but then always backed away from actual sex. I wondered if she had been recently raped, wandering off with men who wouldn't take no for an answer. She used the wig and heavy makeup as a costume, to remain hidden behind the game she was playing. I finished up around ten and headed to my car. I was determined to go straight home without looking for Bella, but my curiosity got the better of me and I began circling the downtown area looking for her neon hair.

I saw a figure standing at a light waiting to cross. It wasn't Bella, but the layered clothing and the hunched posture told me it was Marie. I watched her cross in front of me. Mumbling to herself and holding her body as if she was freezing under all the layers. I pulled over and got out to wait for her to pass me. When she grew even with my car I said, "Hello Marie, I'm Dr. Cullen, do you remember me?"

She froze on the sidewalk and her head lowered even more before she barely nodded. I began talking faster to keep her attention and said, "I'm sorry I missed you today when you came into the office. I really wanted to see you and talk to you about Greek Mythology."

Her entire body tensed and she said something about a swing set and the rain. I had no idea if she was talking about someone from mythology or if she was talking about her own experience. I decided to push a little and said, "I always liked the Goddess Odyne, although she liked to cause pain but I figure it was just because she had so much of her own to deal with."

Marie suddenly stood up straight and turned to walk away. Her layers swung heavily on the body as she marched with her head held high. It was almost like she became another person right before my eyes. I watched her turn the corner and then returned to my quest to find Bella. I eventually came across a group of people in the park and I thought I saw a glint of pink.

I parked and made my way back to the crowd. The group was loud and I could smell marijuana as I got closer. A man and woman were lying on a pile of rags and having sex in front of the group. I saw Bella dancing seductively as people watched her.

I marched up as if I had total authority and grabbed her by the arm. She tried to pull away but I kept a firm grasp on her. A teenage boy stepped in front of me as a challenge but I pushed him aside. "I am her therapist and I'll have you arrested if you interfere," I declared.

The group cleared a path for us to pass and Bella stopped fighting me. She came right up to my side and held tightly to my shirt. I let go of her arm and wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we continued to walk to my car. I opened the door for her to climb in and she scooted onto the console to sit right up next to me.

I got in and turned to face her. I shook my head and said, "Bella, I'm going to do what I failed to do years ago. I'm going to help you face the problems in your life and move on."

Her accent, which now only served to get me hard, was in full volume as she said, "Do you want me to dance for you? I'm a very good dancer."

"I'm sure you are," I said, and turned on the engine and headed to my apartment.

When I pulled into the underground parking Bella shook her head adamantly. "No, not inside, we can stay here in the car."

I tried to smile and said, "I'm not going to touch you. I just want to talk, that's all."

She giggled and willingly climbed out of the car. We got into the elevator and I told her to push the number seven. She stared at the panel in confusion and pushed the number nine. I reached around her and pushed the correct number so she spun around and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I had to pry her arms off of me and held her hand securely in mine in case anyone got onto the elevator with us. We stopped at my floor and I led her to the correct place. I never thought about the security issued involved with letting her know where I lived. I wasn't thinking clearly enough for that.

I unlocked the door and led her into my apartment. She didn't look around or try to get away, she kept her eyes on me and licked her lips when I looked over at her.

"Stop it," I said harshly.

She laughed and danced up to me, putting her arms around my neck and said, "Do you want me to take off my clothes?"

I looked her right in the eyes and said, "No, but I would like for you to wash off the makeup and remove the wig."

I was watching for her reaction. I thought she would laugh or ignore my comment all together, but she slowly let her hands fall from my body and she looked like she was going to cry. I took her arm and tried to make her look at me, but her eyes were blank and nonresponsive. I had seen that look in Bella before so I shook her lightly and said, "No, no, no, don't you play this game with me. I'm all in with this and you can either get on board or I'll commit you."

I walked over to my kitchen and poured myself a cup of orange juice. Bella followed me so I poured her one too. She jumped onto my counter and scooted her body in front of me, locking me between her legs. I sighed and handed her the cup. She took it, but immediately set it down.

I took a long sip of the juice and watched her as she slowly, with unbelievable abdominal control, laid onto her back. She raised her legs up my back, pulling me toward her body and said with her accent, "Feel how wet I am."

I could feel the heat coming off of her against my chest and it was driving me insane. I had to force myself to focus and I said with an unimpressed tone, "Come on, get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning."

Her legs dropped and she sat up with a look of horror on her face. "I'm not going to sleep, I just woke up."

"You have your days and nights mixed up and it isn't healthy. It might be hard to fall asleep but your body will adjust."

I prayed she wouldn't fight me on this. I couldn't miss work again tomorrow and I would be useless if I was up all night again. She jumped down from the counter and rushed for the door. I caught her around the waist and gave her one last warning. "Bella, I'll get your grandmother to sign commitment papers if you run."

She grabbed a pillow off my sofa and threw it at me with all her strength, it barely made it to where I was standing. I tried not to laugh but her bravado was quite humorous. She climbed over the back of my couch and sat angrily with her arms crossed. I walked over to sit in the chair across from her.

"So, your father died in prison?" I asked, hoping we could make some progress before bed.

She glared at me and said, "No, you stupid cock. He's a jazz player in New Orleans."

I had to admit I was a bit shaken, not by her language but by her knowledge of her father. The accent fit the New Orleans area, but I was certain Angela told me her father had died.

"When was the last time you saw him?" I asked.

She shrugged and said, "I don't know, he calls me all the time."

My eyebrows rose in shock and I immediately began making plans to talk to the man. I could get a lot more from him than I could get from her senile grandmother. I pulled one of my cards from my wallet and handed it to her. "Next time he calls ask him to call me."

She raised her skirt and tucked the card under the elastic waist before looking back at me. I looked at the clock and realized how late it was. I was exhausted, but I couldn't let her bolt. I finally stood and held out my hand for hers. She took it eagerly and let me lead her to the bedroom. I pulled down the comforter and she jumped onto the bed with a laugh.

I got a blanket from my closet and tossed a pillow against the door. I stretched out on the floor and closed my eyes. Bella never complained and never spoke. I was out in a matter of minutes.

When my alarm sounded I woke up, still stretched out in front of the door and looked over to see my bed was empty. I jumped up and noticed the open window. I ran over and looked out. There was no way she could have climbed down seven stories. Surely I must have rolled over in my sleep and she was able to escape.

I punched my fist against the windowsill and went to take a shower and head to work.


	8. Chapter 8

8

My first appointment of the day was Emmett and Rose. I drank two cups of coffee just to prepare myself for their session. Emmett was extra quiet and Rosalie was droning as if her voice was the only thing allowed to be heard. I tried to listen, but when she began complaining about the style of Emmett's work boots I found my mind drifting off to Bella.

I considered going to her grandmother's house and pulling her out of her bed, but the dark circles under her eyes told me she needed her sleep and I should let her alone. I would wait until after work and then go by to see if her grandmother could put me in touch with her father. If she couldn't I would see if she would sign the commitment papers.

I suddenly realized the room was quiet so I looked up at the couple in front of me.

"You're not even listening," Rosalie said angrily.

"I'm sure it is something you are used to," I muttered, and sat up taller in my chair.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she demanded.

I sighed and looked at her poor massive brute of a husband and said, "It means for the rest of the day you can't speak to Emmett. His assignment is to speak all he wants and to say whatever is on his mind, but you can't say a word back to him."

Emmett smiled like he had received a commuted sentence from the Governor. Rose was dumbfounded and when she opened her mouth I pointed at her and said, "Shhh."

I nodded for Emmett to speak and he said, "Rosie, I love you. I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world and I want to spend my life loving you. But, damn if you don't need to shut the hell up once in a while."

She looked at me and I placed my finger over my lips and shook my head at her. She stood and walked angrily from the room, slamming the door as hard as she could. Emmett looked at me and then broke into loud laughter. He stood and said, "Thanks doc, this is going to be the greatest day of my life."

He walked out and I wrote notes in their file, preparing for an inevitable lawsuit. I knew there was something special about Rosalie that attracted Emmett to her, other than her spectacular looks. He was a good guy and it would take something genuine to make him fall in love with her.

My next appointment was a CEO of a large seafood company. He was having a minor breakdown over the economy and needed some coaching on positive thinking and stress control. I was sitting at my desk when Jasper called me from his office.

"Can you join us?" he asked, and I knew he was telling me Marie was here. I assured him I would be right there and came directly to his office.

She was sitting hunched over, layered in clothing. Her hair was pulled into the tight knot again and she looked like a little old woman. "Hello Marie," I said. "It was nice to see you last night."

Jasper looked at me with shock and I told him I had seen Marie downtown and we spoke for a moment. He looked at her as I spoke and she showed no sign or remembering our encounter. He sat down in a chair and motioned for me to sit next to Marie.

He spoke softly and slowly and asked, "Marie, I know you are in pain and I want to help."

"There's milk so no fighting," she mumbled.

I leaned a bit closer and said, "Are you Odyne because you give pain or because you manage the pain?"

Her hunched body folded all the way over and she rested her forehead on her knees. "Stay together," she commanded as if talking to someone we couldn't see.

Jasper spoke in his soothing way again and said, "We are two strong men and we can take some of the pain. Tell us about it so we can carry it for you."

She began making soft crying sounds that reminded me of a peacock's howl. It was aching and filled with pain that words couldn't describe. I saw Jasper's eyes grow wet and I was desperate to hold Marie and make everything right.

"Marie, it hurt doesn't it," Jasper said quietly.

"Yes," she moaned, directly answering him.

"Did someone hurt you?" he asked.

"It's only the dark, it's only the dark," she said over and over again.

"Marie, turn the light on. Reach out and turn the light on so you don't have to be in the dark anymore," Jasper suggested.

Her hand moved and jerked a little before she suddenly jumped up with wide terrified eyes and rushed past me to the door. She was mumbling and I thought I heard her say, "Come back, don't run."

It was exactly what I wanted to say to her. Jasper ran from the room to catch her, but I remained sitting. I had my own young woman to deal with and I couldn't really handle another one. When he didn't immediately return I went back to my office and hoped he was having some sort of breakthrough.

I got on my computer and looked up information on jazz musicians in New Orleans. The majority of them were African Americans, but I found a couple who would be around the right age to have a daughter Bella's age. I made a few calls but nobody heard of Bella or anyone with a daughter matching her description.

I ended the day with a stop at the hospital to see if they had room for a patient for a month's stay. I had all the paperwork ready and drove to Bella's grandmother's house. I knocked loudly and she came to the door in her wheelchair.

"I need to see Bella," I said.

The woman looked past me and glanced around like she expected Bella to be with me. I bent over to get her attention and said, "Where is Bella?"

"She's at work," the woman mumbled.

I groaned with frustration, knowing there was no way Bella was capable of working. I wondered where Bella told her grandmother she worked and asked if she knew where it was.

"The used bookstore under the ground," she said, and backed her wheelchair away from me.

I chuckled, knowing it sounded just like Bella to make up such a ridiculous story. I followed her grandmother into the cluttered house and then pulled the papers from my jacket. "Are you Bella's guardian?" I asked her.

She mumbled and looked past me again so I pulled her chair closer as I spoke. "I need you to sign these papers so I can help Bella."

She shook her grey head back and forth and closer her eyes as she said, "No, she'll be mad. She'll yell at me."

I was growing frustrated and thought this would go a lot smoother. "She'll only be angry for a bit, she needs help and when she's all better she'll be happy."

"She has friends, and they depend on her," the woman said and shook her head again.

I decided to drop the subject and see if I could talk Bella into a consensual admission. If she refused I would work on the grandmother again. I left the house and sat on the porch to wait for Bella. It was midnight when I finally left. She never showed and I was concerned something awful happened to her.

If she didn't turn up the next night I would call the police and have them start looking for her. The next morning I headed into work and saw a couple of patients before noon. Jasper had some free time and we decided to head to the wharf and get some food.

We walked since the sun was out and I had my hands in my pockets and my head down as I stewed over what to do about Bella. Jasper finally interrupted me and said, "Let me guess, you're in love with Rose and you are trying to figure out how to get Emmett out of the way."

I laughed at the absurdity of his comment and he laughed along with me. "If I had to choose between Rose and having some biker named Bubba stick his dick up my ass, I'm Bubba's bitch."

"She's really not that bad," Jasper said, and I only rolled my eyes at him.

"What happened with Odyne?" I asked and Jasper's demeanor changed. He looked suddenly tired and he sighed loudly.

"I'm considering having her committed. I want her sedated when I question her again; it is the only way I'll get any real answers."

I nodded and we walked a bit in silence. "What a fucked up profession we are in," I mused, and he nodded in agreement.

We walked up to Pikes Market and looked at the directory to decide on a place to eat. I glanced around at the map and saw a small used bookstore in the underground area of the marketplace. I told Jasper to get us a seat at the bistro and headed downstairs to take a look.

I didn't expect to see Bella there, but I wanted to check out her alibi in case she tried to use it on me. I walked in and saw an elderly woman behind the counter. She smiled and asked if I needed help. I told her I was only looking around. I made my way to the far side of the small shop and then heard another voice coming from the back.

"I'm going to lunch, Mary. I'll be back soon."

I looked up to see a woman walk from the back stock room. She was tall and elegant, impeccably dressed and stylish, with long dark hair. I moved toward the door and blocked her exit. She looked at me and smiled before asking, "May I help you?"

My heart was pounding and I spoke with a tremble in my voice. "Are you Bella?" I asked.

"Yes, do we know each other?"

I tried to imagine this elegant woman with a neon wig and a face full of garish makeup. It just didn't fit and I felt like I was the one having mental issues. She gave me an odd look and scooted past me and rushed up the stairs. I walked like a zombie back to the restaurant and sat across from Jasper with a pale face.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

I grabbed the glass of water and drank it down quickly with my shaking hands. Jasper finally reached over to took it from my hand. He grabbed onto my jacket and shook my lightly. "Edward, what's wrong?"

I gulped deeply and tried to put what I had seen into words that made sense. "Bella's grandmother told me Bella worked at a bookstore underground."

Jasper laughed, like I would have if I hadn't seen her. I shook my head and his laughter died down. "She does?" he asked.

"Not the Bella with the pink wig, but a professional, beautiful version of Bella."

He set his elbow on the table and leaned his cheek onto his palm. "Do you think she is acting out at night, trying to be something she can't be during the day?"

"I don't think she even recognized me," I admitted. "She didn't seem embarrassed or jittery. It was like I was the weird one and she wanted away from me."

Jasper laughed and the waiter came up with our sodas. I took a drink and wished it was something stronger. I felt shaken, a little confused, and played by a smart ass little girl. I wasn't letting her get away with this. I would confront her and make her admit she knew who I was. If she wanted to run around like a whore during the night, it was her business.

I ate my pita sandwich and walked back to the office as I came up with a plan. As soon as we entered Debbie held up some envelopes in anger. "All the statements I sent Marie came back as no such address."

"Is her insurance paying?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, but she has a deductible."

"Just waive it," Jasper said, and went into his office.

I looked up the phone number to the small used bookstore and dialed the number. A woman answered and I asked if it was Mary. She answered in the affirmative so I said, "I was in there the other day and a woman named Bella helped me."

"Yes, Bella Swan," she said, and I quickly wrote it down.

"Does she work most days?" I asked.

"She's the store manager, so she's in and out most of the day."

"I'll just try to catch her another time, thanks," I said and hung up the phone.

I took off a little early from the office and went right to the wharf. I sat on a bench and watched the people coming and going, determined to catch Bella at some point. I saw a fancy car pull up and a tall, handsome Native man got out and came around to open the passenger door. Bella got out and leaned on one leg to kiss the man passionately.

I stared in stunned silence as she walked away and turned to wave to him. "I'll see you Thursday," he called out and blew her a kiss. She nodded and smiled like a woman in love. I watched her walk into the Marketplace and down the stairs to the basement shops.


	9. Chapter 9

9

The Bella who I saw today was a complete contrast to the young woman who kept showing me her most private parts. She seemed confident and secure, not lost and deranged. I couldn't work it out into my mind how they could both exist in the same body at the same time.

I felt a bit intimidated by the composed version and decided to confront the mixed up nymph instead. I went home and ate dinner and then situated myself in the park where I could see Bella's house. It was cold and dark when she exited the back of the house scantily clad.

I followed her though the park and toward the needle where a large group of college students were gathered. I felt like a pervert, stalking a young girl from the shadows. She made her way into a group of guys and began dancing to the loud music. They watched her but when they tried to touch her she would move away from them.

She spent over an hour doing the same thing, but then she moved to a small closed shop that catered to tourists. She sat in the small alcove of the door to stay out of the rain and she looked like she was crying. I came out of the dark and approached her.

She looked up with wet makeup running down her face and tried to smile, but it wouldn't form. I held out my arms and she rushed into them, jumping up and wrapping her legs around me. I held her as I walked toward my car, wanting to get her out of the cold rain.

I sat her in my car and got a blanket from the trunk and wrapped it around her. "You must be exhausted after working all day," I said as I tucked her in tightly.

"Why do batteries run out?" she asked, through her tears.

I thought for a moment and said, "Sometimes they are over used and need to be recharged."

I assumed we were speaking philosophically, not literally. Bella looked out the window at the dark city and said, "It's never day time, always night."

"Bella, I went by the bookstore today," I admitted, and watched her to see if it would anger her.

She turned and looked at me and showed no reaction at all. Her eyes were filled with tears but they never spilled over to run down her cheek. "Am I ugly?" she asked in just a whisper.

I ran my hand down the hideous wig and shook my head back and forth. It was hard to tell her now when her face was such a mess, but she wasn't ugly, she was beautiful as her natural self. "Even as a small girl you were so pretty," I said.

Her mood changed on a dime and she laughed and moved to straddle me in the seat. She pushed up on her knees and rubbed her pussy against my chest. I turned my head and tried to ignore her hot breath against my face.

"Your boyfriend will be mad and I don't want him looking to kick my ass," I said, and tried to push her back.

She giggled and said, "I don't have a boyfriend."

"What about Marcus?" I ask, and looked up to see if she had a reaction.

Her accent made me laugh when she said, "That old ball sack, he aint nothing."

I have no idea what came over me but I asked, "What about me?"

I wasn't sure what I wanted her to say. I had no idea if it would give me comfort for her to find some sort of meaning in our meetings or if I was a constant pain in the ass to her. She moved back to her side of the car and said, "You just want to put me on the shelf. But I'm already broken so I can't just sit there."

I reached out and took hold of her chin, "I want to fix you. You don't have to be broken, I promise."

She looked at me with the first hint of trust. Her full lips trembled and she licked them before saying, "How can you fix me?"

I pulled the papers from my glove box and showed them to her. "All you have to do is sign your name right here," I said, pointing to the line. "I can get you the best help available if you sign."

I pulled a pen from my shirt pocket and placed it in her hand. "Sign it Bella, and your life will get so much better."

She held the pen as if she planned on signing. She placed it to the paper and I realized I was holding my breath. She looked at me and I nodded to encourage her. She finally scribbled something and pushed the papers toward me as if they contained a poison.

I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly. I started the engine and headed toward the hospital. I was talking too fast in my excitement, making promises I couldn't possibly keep. I told her when she was better I would show her all kinds of new places and things. I told her we could be friends forever and she could always lean on me.

I stopped at a red light and she suddenly jumped from the car and took off down the street. I jumped out of my car and screamed for her, but the car behind me began to honk its horn so I was forced to get back into my car and circle the block. There wasn't a sign of Bella anywhere.

"Shit," I yelled and pounded on my steering wheel. I drove around for most of the night without any glimpses of hot pink hair. I knew she wouldn't go back to her grandmothers so I finally headed home and decided I would find her at the bookshop the next day.

I showed up the following morning for another session with Emmett and Rose. I was a bit anxious to hear how her day of silence worked out. They entered the office holding hands and she snuggled up to him when they sat. I smiled at both of them, Emmett returned my smile, Rose didn't.

"So tell me how it went," I pressed.

"I have an amazing husband," Rose said, "But you're a piece of shit."

I laughed loudly and said, "You are not the first woman to tell me that." I had heard those exact words from Tanya many times.

Emmett hugged her and said, "I talked doc, I talked and talked and talked. I got everything off my chest and she heard it all. I feel like we finally understand each other."

I congratulated them both and then encouraged Emmett to keep speaking his mind, and for Rose to continue to listen. After our session they went to see Jasper and make plans for a date night with him and Alice. I was updating their file when Jasper came in to congratulate me on my breakthrough with them.

"I wish I had the same conclusion with Bella," I moaned. "I got her to sign commitment papers, but then she bolted."

"Really?" Jasper said in shock. "Can you have the police pick her up?"

I pulled the papers from my briefcase and set them on my desk. "I'll go by the bookshop and talk to her alter ego; maybe I'll have better success with her."

Jasper laughed and was about to say something when a knock sounded on my door. I looked over to see a familiar face, one I hoped never to see again. Tanya stood there with a sheepish look. I stood and Jasper excused himself. "It's okay," I told him, hoping he would stay. "This is my friend Tanya, Tanya this is my partner Jasper Whitlock."

She walked all the way into the office and shook his hand. He excused himself, saying he was expecting a patient and ran off. I offered Tanya a seat and walked over to sit in the chair Jasper had vacated. She was turning forty, a bit thicker in the middle and showing signs of age around her eyes and mouth.

"You look beautiful," I said to be polite. She did look nice, but she never had the features I found beautiful.

"I ran into your father and I started thinking of you," she said, causing my throat to tighten. "I'm divorced again and I have a son now too. Oh, Jane is a teenager, can you believe it?"

I tried not to show any real curiosity about the girl I was certain became so much like her selfish mother. I only smiled and refused to ask for more information.

The door to my office swung open and hit against the wall. Tanya jumped and grabbed onto my arm. Jasper was standing there with wide eyes and holding papers in his hand. "I'm sorry, but I need to see you," he said.

He was actually bouncing back and forth on his feet just like Alice was prone to do. I wondered if he was beginning to pick up her idiosyncrasies. I could tell he felt it was urgent but I wanted to get Tanya out of my office before I dealt with his issue.

I stood and held out my hand for hers. When she took it I pulled her from the chair and wrapped my arm around her waist. "It was so nice to see you again, thank you for stopping by," I said rudely.

She laughed and wrapped her own arm around me as we walked into the waiting area. "I'll give you a call and maybe we can get a drink, talk about old times," she said.

"Of course," I lied. "Just call me in a few weeks when my schedule isn't so hectic."

I didn't give her my number and was planning on telling Debbie to ignore her calls and never put her through to me. It was bad enough she wanted me to parent her little girl, but taking on two kids and a teenager wasn't my idea of romance.

Maybe my father was right and my rush to become a doctor interfered with my development. I was much more relaxed around the Baby Doll Bella, and keeping my distance from the professional Bella. I made the decision right then to go directly to the bookstore and demand Bella come with me to the hospital.

Tanya leaned in to offer me a kiss and I purposefully turned to kiss her cheek. She smiled at me as if we were secret lovers sharing a rendezvous. I waited for her to get completely out of the office before returning to my office.

"God, your timing is impeccable," I said. "I wasn't sure how I would get rid of her."

"We have a lot bigger problem than a scorned lover," Jasper said, and I noticed how his face seemed a bit pale.

"What's wrong?" I asked, finally showing the amount of concern I should be.

He held up some papers and said, "I accidently took these from your desk when I left the room. When did she sign these?"

I looked at the commitment papers which were wrinkled and damp from last night. Jasper was holding them in his hand as if they contained state secrets. I reached for them but he pulled his hand upward, and out of my reach.

"I saw her late last night. She signed them and when I headed to the hospital she jumped from the car and ran off, why?"

Now he lowered his hand and gave me the papers. "Look at the signature," he said in a hushed voice.

His actions were really beginning to worry me. Nothing rattled Jasper but maybe he was picking up more of Alice's bad habits than I thought. I walked to my desk and ran the papers over the edge to smooth them before turning to the last page and expecting to see the name Bella Swan.

My eyes turned to Jasper's in disbelief and he nodded with his own skepticism. "But how?" I asked as I stared down at the signature on the form. It was written in a hurried script but clear enough to make out the name.

Marie Harris.


	10. Chapter 10

10

My mind was reeling as I tried to tie everything together. I never talked to Baby Doll about Marie. When I was in the grandmother's house I saw the piles of clothing, but how could the woman at the bookstore be anything like the hunched woman who I met in Jasper's office.

I looked over at his wild eyes and shook my head. "It can't be," I said, trying to defend myself.

"This is bigger than we can handle. We need your father's help," Jasper said.

I sat down at my desk in a numbed silence. What possibly happened to Bella to fragment her into different people? I thought back to the Mental Hospital, how she would change her personality right in front of me, I didn't see it and I felt stupid now.

Jasper was talking to me but only parts of the conversation was sinking in. "She can't sign herself, you need the grandmother to do it."

I nodded and stared at the phone, feeling a need to call someone but not knowing exactly who. I finally covered my eyes with my fists and rubbed them aggressively to snap out of the fog I was stuck in. I looked at Jasper and said, "Do you really think she's fragmented?"

I realized I had sat in the same room with Odyne but I never saw a good look at her face, because she was always hunched over and mumbling. Jasper sat across from me and ran his hands through his hair.

"It is the only thing that makes sense. But we need to change everything about our approach now. We need to film sessions for integration purposes."

"Who's the dominate self?" I asked him; sure it was Bella Swan from the bookstore. If that turns out to be true we needed to bring her boyfriend into the treatment too. It was that thought I found a bit sickening. I didn't want her to feel rejected by someone she loved, but the possibility of losing her forever to another man did bother me a bit.

The problem we faced was Odyne trusted Jasper, Baby Doll trusted me, and Bella Swan had another man altogether.

"We don't even know how many splinters there are," he said to add to my pain. I couldn't imagine other versions of Bella out there.

At that moment Debbie stuck her head into my office. She looked at Jasper and whispered, "Marie is here; please ask her for her real address."

Jasper and I both jumped up like the room was on fire. He looked at me and said, "Go get the signature and I'll get her admitted."

I nodded and rushed from the room and out the door without even looking at the woman sitting in a mountain of coats. I called my father on the way to Bella's house. I gave him a brief synopsis of what was going on and he agreed to meet us all at the hospital. I didn't get offended when he made me promise not to speak to her until he arrived. I knew I was in over my head and I needed his expertise. I had already confused the issue with Baby Doll.

I knocked on the door with an expectant rush, only pausing a moment before knocking again. When the door opened I pushed her chair back so I could walk right in. I held the papers out to her and said, "I need you to sign these papers so we can hospitalize Bella."

She began to shake her head but I slammed the papers onto her lap and said, "Mrs. Harris, your granddaughter is in big trouble and she needs help. Someone hurt her very badly, was it your son?"

She pulled her hands to her ears and began to cry. I would push her for information later, but right now I needed her to sign the damn commitment papers. I pulled her hand down and stuck the pen in her grasp. "Sign," I demanded with my voice at full volume.

She was shaking but she wrote her name, giving me exactly what I needed. I didn't say anything else; I ran from the house and sped off to the hospital. I had everything ready when Jasper arrived with Marie. He was holding her shaking frame and her head was buried in his side. There was nothing familiar about this girl that made me want to pull her into my own arms. I couldn't see any part of Baby Doll in Marie's look.

She was handed over to a nurse and led down the hallway. Jasper took a deep breath and said, "It didn't go as smoothly as I hoped."

"Why?" I asked with a panicked voice.

"She doesn't show any sign of understanding. I finally just led her to my car. She followed without saying a word only mumbling incoherent things."

My father finally arrived and we went into a secluded room to talk openly. I was feeling anxious to get started but I also had to admit I wanted to see Baby Doll and not Marie. I wanted to explain things to her and know she understood and wasn't mad at me.

My father opened up a large textbook and spoke in technical terms. I finally pulled the book from his hand and asked him to speak to us explicitly. He sat back and said, "This is extremely rare. I'm not sure at this point it is a fractured self. We need to make sure before we proceed."

Jasper and I looked at each other and then said at the same time, "We're sure."

"Well, let me talk to her first. You can observe if you like," he said and we both nodded.

We headed to the room where she would stay and Jasper and I went into the adjoining room and watched through the one way glass. Carlisle sat in a chair next to Marie. She was sitting perfectly still in a hospital gown, showing for the first time the tiny frame underneath all the clothing she usually wore. Her arms had bandages where blood was drawn.

"Marie, my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I knew you as a little girl," dad began.

Her eyes rose and she took a quick glance at my father and then went right back to staring at the ground. "Do you remember my son Edward?" he asked her. "You used to love to follow him around all day." He chuckled, but it made my heart ache at the memory.

She whispered something and dad leaned in closer and asked her to repeat her words. She mumbled again and he looked up at the glass with a look of concern.

"What did she say?" Jasper asked me.

"I don't know, I didn't hear it," I told him.

My dad cleared his throat and said, "Honey, most of your treatment will be talking to your therapy team. We want to help you get better and understand everything going on around you."

He walked from the room, using a code on the secure key pad and left her sitting there in tears. He came straight into the room and said to both of us. "Now go get her riled, we need to see who comes forth."

Jasper decided to act first. I was happy when he volunteered because I wasn't sure I could get Bella upset. It was too hard to see her crying and not reach out to her. Jasper walked into the room and right away got authoritative. "Stop crying," he said harshly. "You're a grown woman so act like it."

I was a bit stunned by his command of her, but it was nothing like the reaction he got from Marie. She looked horrified as she turned slowly to look at him. He spoke even louder and said, "I said to stop crying."

I watched in fascination as her chin rose defiantly and her posture changed into something militaristic. She stood up and looked around the room before saying, "Where am I, where's Jake?"

"Who is Jake?" Jasper asked.

"My boyfriend," she replied quickly. "I demand you get Jake here immediately."

I felt my own jaw tighten and I looked over at my father who was watching the scene play out in total fascination. He mumbled, "Push her more."

And as if Jasper could hear through the wall he said, "You are not in the position to demand anything. You are my patient and I will tell you what you can and can't do."

Something stirred within me and I found myself growing angry at Jasper for the way he was treating her. I kept quiet; because I was afraid they would realize I was struggling with my participation in her treatment. I wanted to be part of the team, but I wasn't sure I could do it.

Bella turned her back to him for a moment and then suddenly spun around with a look of a wild animal. Her eyes bulged and her mouth contorted into something unrecognizable. She let loose with an animalistic roar and ran at Jasper, knocking him to the ground. Dad and I both sped from the observation room and ran in to help him.

Bella's strength surprised us all. I tried to be gentle but she wouldn't budge as she bit at Jasper. My dad had been prepared and pulled something from his pocket and injected it into Bella's arm. She slowly relaxed and fell to her side, whimpering like a child.

"Son of a bitch," Jasper said, and got up to check his bite marks. She had managed to break through the skin so he left to have the wounds cleaned.

"What was that?" I asked my father, not meaning the medication he had injected her with, but the beast which had shot out of her.

"A protective personality, filled with pain and rage. You'll have to keep sedatives ready," he said, and I nodded in agreement.

I walked over to help Bella up off the ground. She was still whimpering and when I helped her up she grabbed onto me, holding me tightly and then touching her ear over and over again. She was my Bella from long ago, the little girl who followed me around all day, trusting me completely.

I realized I had walked out on her, thinking I messed up in her treatment. I had let this version of Bella down and I felt awful for it.

I sat with her on the small sofa in the room and looked down at her face which was peering up at me. "There's your beautiful face," I said, and she smiled with a wide grin. "I've missed you," I admitted, and then remembered my father was in the room.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, and she touched her lip. "Are you feeling sleepy?" I asked, and she repeated the gesture. "I'll sit next to your bed while you fall asleep," I said, and helped her into the bed. She turned to face me and I watched as her eyes slowly fade to close.

I moved her hair out of her face and felt such affection for the child I could see, but as her breathing became deeper her expression changed to a grown woman. My Bella was gone and I had no idea who was lying here in her place. I kissed her cheek and then left the room.

Jasper was waiting for us and he gave me a worried glance. "Don't look at me like that," I demanded. "I have a history with her and I'm going to do everything I can to save her mind."

He nodded and then gave me a warning, "If I feel you're getting too involved I'll have your removed from her care. I admitted her as my patient."

I felt anger growing and I pointed out the obvious, "I got her grandmother to sign and I can get her to revoke the signature."

My father and Jasper stared with shock at my obstinacy. I tried to explain, adamant about my participation in a landmark case most doctors never get to see, but I had a feeling they knew my real reasons. I would give up every patient I knew to fix Bella's mind.

"Don't you have an appointment?" Jasper reminded me.

I glanced at my watch and knew I had to go. I had a late afternoon appointment with Marcus, the one person I loathed to talk with. I tried to keep my composure and excused myself from the room. I headed to my office and used biofeedback to steady my nerves.

If Marcus said something to upset me about Baby Doll, I wasn't sure I would be able to remain calm. I felt like my own center was fracturing as I walked into my office and greeted Marcus cheerfully.


	11. Chapter 11

11

The man was in his sixties, arrogant and snobbish. I looked at his long boney fingers and tried to imagine them touching Bella. I closed my eyes before I addressed him and asked, "How are things with your wife?"

"She's going to Italy to visit her sister. I'll have a couple of weeks of peace," he said with a chuckle.

I wanted to blurt out that he could forget about spending free time with Baby Doll and that she was forever out of his reach from now on. But something about the situation gave me pleasure to imagine him scouring the city for someone he would never find.

"Perhaps you should consider going with her," I added hatefully.

"Ah Dr. Cullen, you are too easy to read. You are afraid I will take your patient from you, perhaps you like to play with her too?"

My hands pulled into fists and I had to take a couple of breaths before I tried to speak. I was furious at his level of disrespect, but also angry that it was more than likely true. I stood and held out my hand toward the door. "Please leave," I said in a controlled tone.

"She is an open, free spirit, and you call it disturbed," he said angrily, and stood to confront me.

I wanted nothing more than to take a swing at him. I wanted to tell him what a lowlife cheating scum he was, taking advantage of a sick girl for his voyeuristic pleasure. I had all kinds of terms I could use for his behavior, all gathered over the years as his therapist. I managed to keep what little professionalism I had remaining and walked over to open the door.

"I asked you to leave," I said, and walked out the door before he had a chance. I left my office and headed to the hospital. I didn't really care if Marcus was offended or if he would ever return. I was done with him and those who prey on weaker people. I was reconsidering everything in my life and trying to find a way for Bella and me to exist together. I got to her room and found a note on the door saying a session was in progress. I went to the observation room and saw Jasper watching my father talk to Bella.

"What's going on?" I asked Jasper.

"Just watch," he said softly.

I turned to see my dad holding the hand of who appeared to be Bella Swan. She was sitting straight in the bed and her eyes looked upset but she wasn't crying. I stepped closer to the window and listened intently.

"I want you to think really hard," My dad was saying, "What did you do for your last birthday?"

Her eyes were darting back and forth as she tried to remember. When she couldn't find an answer my father said, "Who are your parents?"

"My father is a policeman in Forks and my mother is a teacher in Arizona," she said, as if it was a certainty.

"Tell me about Forks, describe the town?" he asked.

Her lips began to tremble and she closed her eyes tightly as she tried to think. Dad finally placed his hand on hers and said, "Its okay, Bella, don't fret about it."

Her eyes shot open and she said, "I want to see Jake, please ask him to come."

"Do you know how I can reach him?" he asked.

She nodded and gave him Jake's full name and said his phone number would be in her office at the bookstore. My father gave her a reassuring hug and excused himself from the room.

He came into the observation room and said, "I don't think Bella Swan is the core personality. Her memories are too fresh and uncertain."

"Who gets to tell Jake?" I said, with a bit too much enthusiasm. My father gave me a warning look and then turned to Jasper. "Can you get hold of the man so we can get his perspective?"

"Certainly," Jasper said, and left the room.

I turned my attention back to the woman in the bed and watched as she laid back and fought with her own emotions and memories. My dad touched my arm and said, "Let's get something to eat."

I nodded and followed him to the cafeteria. We got a tray of food and sat down in a remote corner. I took a bite of my salad as my father said, "Edward, your guilt is getting the better of you."

"Guilt?" I asked.

"You missed the diagnosis when she was a child and you are becoming too invested now."

"I don't feel guilty for missing it," I admitted. "It is so rare anyone would have missed it. And if you recall I wasn't the first, or the only, doctor working with her."

I took a swipe at my father because he was on staff when Bella arrived at the hospital and as the senior doctor he would be required to receive updates and concur with her treatments.

"I just want you to be careful," he warned, and began to eat his own food.

We didn't discuss her again as we ate. We kept the conversation general and light. We walked together to the parking lot and spoke briefly before both retiring to our own vehicles. I planned to go home, but I couldn't force myself to do it. I got out of my car and headed back into the hospital.

I walked into Bella's room and when she looked at me she jumped onto her knees and bounced enthusiastically on her bed. "Take me to a park," she insisted with a huge grin and a strong accent.

I sat on the bed next to her and she put her arms around me and moved to my lap. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face and she giggled in return. "Hello, Baby Doll," I offered.

"I just woke up and I want to play," she announced.

I suddenly realized she only came out at night and I wanted to smack my head for not seeing it clearly before. I shook my head and said, "I'd rather just talk."

"Okay," she said with a laugh. "Do you want me to talk about blowing you?"

My heart sank, feeling sick for the pain this girl had endured. "No," I said softly. "Tell me about your life."

She leaned in and spoke with her breath going right into my ear. She whispered with exaggeration and it was turning me on. "My daddy is a musician and my mama is a whore."

"In New Orleans?" I asked with just a whisper myself.

She drew the word out slowly and let her tongue run along the outside of my ear as she said, "Yeeesssss."

"I thought you were from Seattle?" I asked her.

"I am," she offered, "only my parents live in New Orleans."

"And your name is Marie Harris?" I pressed.

Her body became rigid and she climbed off my lap and moved back into the bed. She turned onto her side and pulled the covers up around her. I pulled them down quickly and said, "Baby Doll, stay with me." I didn't want to have to deal with Marie right now and I honestly came to see Baby Doll.

She looked at me and giggled again, before lifting her gown over her face. I used the blanket to cover her body and said, "You are going to be the death of me."

She smiled and let it fade to a soft look of hope. She continued to look into my eyes and finally said, "What are toys really for?"

I tried to think through all the layers of her question and finally settled with, "The help aid in development and growth."

She got back onto her knees with an overt happiness in my words. "Yes, they should be a good thing. You should love your toys and take care of them."

"Sometimes we outgrow our toys, or we take them for granted because we get newer toys."

"Or they break," she said sadly, and I watched as her face fell and her eyes grew wet.

My hand automatically rose and I cupped her cheek in my palm. Her face was so young and it didn't fit with the body that taunted me. I put my second hand to her face and held her as I asked bluntly, "Who broke you?"

"Shhh," she said with panic in her eyes. "Don't let them hear you. They can't see the crack."

"The crack in the porcelain?" I asked, and she nodded adamantly.

I felt a knot rise in my throat and I swallowed a couple of times before saying, "I have some special glue to fix it."

Her eyes moved to my mouth and I wondered if she believed anything I said. I watched her closely, hoping she would continue talking, but she leaned forward instead and tried to kiss me. I pulled back out of her reach and her face saddened.

"Let me talk to Marie," I said with authority.

She suddenly pulled from my hands and looked at me with pure hatred. "You cock sucker," she yelled. "I just woke up and I want to play."

I was desperate to gain control again so I kept my voice light and I said, "I know, I want to play too, I just need to talk to Marie before we play."

She laughed very loudly and let her head fall back, exposing her beautiful neck. She spoke as she stared at the ceiling. "You can't bother her. She doesn't want to talk to anyone."

"Why did she come to my office?" I asked, and tried not to sound too excited for the possibility of an answer.

Bella's head snapped forward and she looked at me with seductive eyes as she slowly let her legs fall apart. "You just don't get it," she said and then licked her lips.

I felt a bit embarrassed and not by the fact she was spread out in front of me, but she was right, I didn't get it. Marie had somehow sought out Jasper, made an appointment, provided correct insurance information, and then showed up for the session. Yet Baby Doll made her sound like she was easily controlled and bullied by the other personalities. It was Marie who signed the papers for me, not Baby Doll, so maybe this bravado was all a ruse.

"I told you we are not going to play until I speak to Marie," I said again forcefully.

Her eyes narrowed and she shut her legs quickly. "I don't want to play with you," she said angrily.

"Fine," I offered, and got off of her bed and left the room. I walked straight to observation room and watched as Baby Doll jumped from the bed and ran to open the door. When she found it locked she spun around, breathing deeply and rushed to the window. When it wouldn't open she pounded on it furiously.

Suddenly she spun around with the same wild look she had when she attacked Jasper. She began destroying the room, throwing anything she could get her hands on. I rushed outside and told the nurses to stay out. I went back to the one way glass and watched as she grunted and growled as she paced the room.

Eventually her posture began to hunch over and she got back into the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. She was mumbling and I had to turn up the volume to catch a few of her words. "Bad, you're bad. A long time. Tighter now."

I finally pulled a chair to the glass and sat down as she continued to mumble incoherently. I wanted to find some sort of pattern in her speech, anything to let me get just a glimpse into her mind. If I could find the right trigger or the strongest area of self, it would speed things up with the integration process.

I closed my eyes and listened intently to the string of words and phrases which made no sense until I heard something that forced my eyes back open.

She had her own eyes closed and she had rolled into a ball on the bed, looking like a fetus in a womb. Her lips continued to move but I was fixated on the last sentence I heard, "Don't touch my Edward."


	12. Chapter 12

12

I was sitting in a small conference room across from Jacob Black. He was an impressively fit man with an easy smile. He reminded me a bit of Emmett. I was trying to remain quiet since I was prejudice against the man for having the woman I wanted.

He told us they met at a book signing and he sold dental equipment in the northwestern states. They had been dating for only a month, but he hadn't seen any signs of mental instability. I cleared my throat and asked, "Have you met any members of her family?"

"No, we talking about visiting Forks, but we haven't gone yet."

I nodded and tried to stop from smiling. The trip was never going to happen and then was nothing to see there. My father was considerate of Jake and asked him to be available if we needed him, but to allow us room to work with Bella before we introduced him into the mix.

He seemed a bit relieved and that pissed me off that he would give up on her so easily. If it was my girlfriend lying in there nothing would keep me from storming the room. We all shook his hand and then watched him walk from the room.

We remained to discuss different perspectives on treatment. "I talked with Baby Doll last night, and when I insisted on talking to Marie she got angry. I left the room and when she realized it was locked she went into her rage again."

Jasper felt the open bite mark in his arm as I spoke. I then added, "I think Baby Doll might be the core personality. She seems aware of the others."

They both looked at me hesitantly and I knew what they were thinking. I wasn't hoping for them all to be integrated into Baby Doll for my own selfish reasons. I was being honest with my assessment.

"We are nowhere close to finding the core," my father said, and I noticed how he wouldn't look at me.

Jasper clicked his pen on the desk and then flipped it over to begin writing. "Okay, we have Marie, Bella Swan, Baby Doll, her rage persona…."

"And the child Bella," I reminded him, so he wrote it down.

"Okay, five proximate personalities each with a different purpose. Bella Swan is the bread winner, Baby Doll is the free expression of her sexuality, the rage is obvious, young Bella is a manifested memory, but what is Marie's purpose?"

"She is the one who sought out help," I observed.

My dad nodded and then said, "If I had to pick the core, I would say it is Marie."

I shook my head, disagreeing with his choice. "Marie is too flustered, too overwhelmed by her own confusion."

"Yeah, I think it is Bella Swan," Jasper interjected.

I shook my head again and tried to point out it had to be Baby Doll since she knew about the others. I also pointed out she only came out at night, allowing the others to rest as she explored her adventurous side.

Finally my father rubbed his head and said, "I think this shows us we aren't sure yet. We have more work to do. I suggest sedation and begin working with little Bella on old memories."

We all nodded in agreement and then stood to get to work. We decided my father would do the questioning as I held little Bella for comfort. Jasper would film and observe from the other room. We got everything ready to go and had a nurse go into the room and administer the sedative.

We waited until she pulled from her huddled position on the bed and then entered her room. I walked up to her side and ran my finger down her cheek. "Hello Bella, there's that pretty face," I said softly.

She smiled and took hold of my hand. I pointed at my father and said, "Do you want to sit on my lap while my dad talks to you?"

She touched her lip so I climbed onto the bed and held her between my legs as my dad pulled up a chair to the side of the bed. I ran my fingers up and down her arms gently and felt her relax against me.

"Bella, do you remember the State Hospital?" dad asked. She touched her lip and I smiled proudly at her. "Do you remember coming to the hospital when you were eight?" Again she touched her lip.

Dad talked to her for a bit about the hospital, trying to mention only positive things about the place. When he asked, "Do you remember Dr. Edward Cullen?"

She smiled and touched her lip again, sending a warm feeling spreading through me.

"Now I want you to realize you are in Edward's arms and nothing can hurt you. We are only looking at past memories and you are perfectly safe. Do you remember before you came to the hospital?"

I felt her body tense and I tightened my hold on her. I put my lips to her head and kissed her lightly as she grew more agitated. "Bella, do you know who you lived with?" Dad asked.

She touched her lip and then began to cry. It was the same hoarse cry I had heard so often in the state facility. I spoke softly into her ear, assuring her I was right there. Dad went ahead and continued on with the questioning and asked, "Do you remember who hurt you?"

Bella began to squirm, trying to keep her mind from hearing his words but he pressed further. "Bella, do you know the person that caused you pain? Look at the face and tell me what you see."

She began to whimper and it became more difficult to hold onto her. "I'm here, Bella," I said into her ear. "Nobody can hurt you."

She arched back and yelled loudly, "No, daddy."

Carlisle spoke louder, getting right into Bella's face. "Was it your father? Did he hurt you?"

Her head swung back and forth as she scrunched her face in torment. Carlisle continued the harsh questioning until she finally screamed, "No, don't kill my daddy."

I pulled her around and to my chest as she sobbed loudly. I was stunned by her words but my father seemed unfazed. He continued to ask more questions until I finally yelled for him to stop. She was only a child, a little girl and it wasn't right to make her feel this pain. My father looked at my eyes and I could see the disappointment in his face.

I looked away and focused on Bella, who was shaking violently in my arms. My father finally left the room and I knew he was watching me with Jasper on the other side of the glass, but I didn't care. My mind was remembering the little girl who followed me everywhere I went and I needed to comfort her.

I rocked her gently back and forth until she slowly, slowly began to relax. I continued to hold her even though I could hear soft sounds of sleep finally coming to her exhausted mind. I wondered if I would have realized her problems earlier if she would have grown up to be a normal adult.

She stirred a little and her face turned to look up at me. I expected to see little Bella, but the eyes of a woman looked back at me. She jumped from my arms and off of the bed. "Who are you?" she demanded. "I want Jake."

I got off the bed without responding and then said, "Someone will be in soon to speak to you." I walked out of the room and into the observation room. It was Jasper's turn and he patted my back as he passed me.

He walked into Bella's room and asked her to have a seat. She crossed her leg over her knee and let it bounce angrily. Jasper leaned in after sitting down and said, "Bella, do you remember being a child?"

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, I used to go fishing with my father all the time."

"What was your father like?" he asked.

"He is kind and loving. He laughs over the silliest things," she said proudly. I noticed she spoke in the present tense although Jasper had used the past tense.

"Think really hard and tell me if anyone ever hurt your father?" Jasper asked.

She laughed and said, "No, my father is a cop, he's a tough man."

"Maybe when you were little, think back to when you were little and if someone ever hurt him."

I could tell Bella was becoming uncomfortable. She shifted in her seat and glanced around at the room as if trying to find anything to hold her focus. She took several deep breaths and then looked back at Jasper and said, "I want to speak with Jake."

Jasper ignored her and said, "Maybe you were in the house and someone broke it, your father didn't see it coming and he couldn't respond?"

She began to brush her lap with her hands as if removing some unseen crumbs. She trembled badly and Jasper pushed one last time. "Did he fight for you, Bella?"

She instantly folded in on herself, grasping at something as if trying to hide beneath it. Her words grew jumbled and she shook her head adamantly.

"Hello Marie," Jasper said, never missing a beat. "We are talking about someone hurting your father. Do you remember your father?"

"He's gonna die, they locked him in a cage to die," she said and began to pound her fists to her head.

"Is your father in prison?" he asked.

Marie nodded before saying, "Bad things, bad things, to die."

Jasper leaned closer to her bent frame and said, "Tell me his name."

She mumbled nonsensically and he repeated his request with a stronger voice. Her body grew rigid and Jasper grabbed her by the arm and spun her around so he could hold her body contained by locking his arms through her elbows. She was breathing heavily, growing angrier, but he pushed even more. "What's his name, Marie?"

She turned her head as she took bites from the air. He held her bound and asked over and over again until she finally screamed out, "Phil Harris."

I grabbed my laptop as Jasper spoke soothingly to Marie until she was back to her mumbling and calm demeanor. He walked her to the bed and left her to sleep. I was looking up anything I could find on anyone named Phil Harris. I wasn't sure which state to look at so it took me a long time to find a blurb on someone who could be a match. He was arrested in Arizona, wanted on felony murder charges.

I wasn't even aware of my father and Jasper leaving until I found an article I wanted to read to them. I looked up to see the room empty and darkness coming from the curtains. I looked over at Bella's room and saw her standing on the bed, dancing suggestively. Baby Doll had woken up.

I was tempted to go visit her, finding her so alluring but also knowing how wrong it was. Instead I shut my computer and left the hospital to drive to her grandmother's house. I knocked loudly and waited for her to come to the door. I smiled kindly, knowing how fragile this woman's psyche was, too.

She rolled backward and I entered the room. I knelt down and took her delicate wrinkled hands in mine and said, "Mrs. Harris. Your son murdered Bella's parents and tortured her. Why did you take her from the hospital?"

I felt her hands try to pull from mine but I held on tightly, a bit too tightly. She yelled out in pain but I didn't release my hold. I continued to hold her harshly and asked again, "Why did you claim her as your granddaughter?"

"She is my granddaughter," the old woman insisted. "My son helped raise her."

I saw how I was cutting off the circulation in her hands by my strong grasp so I finally let go. I got right into her face and said, "Your son abused her, and then killed her father when he found out. He abused her mother and left her for dead in the Arizona desert. He's an animal, and you aren't much better. You wanted the money from her father's death benefits and nothing more."

I stood and kicked down a pile of filth before leaving the wretched house and heading to find Jasper and my father. I finally had the information we needed to attempt to put Bella Marie Swan Harris back together again.


	13. Chapter 13

13

My mother sat in on our conversation and had to wipe her tears several times. I was able to put together a full picture of Bella's life and it was difficult to share, let alone for a child to live it. She was born in Forks Washington, to a father who was a cop and a mother who was a teacher. The marriage didn't last long and Bella moved around the country with her mother.

Her father saw her once a year, usually in whatever state she was living in until her mother remarried at the age of five. They changed her name to Marie Harris, trying to rid her completely of her father's influence. It was most likely the beginning of her fracturing.

Phil was a brutal man who abused his new daughter in every way imaginable. Charlie noticed the changes in his daughter and it cost him his life at a remote fishing cabin in Montana. The police never knew Bella had been there with him and witnessed the whole thing.

Renee began to suspect something and had talked to a close friend about her suspicions. Phil took the girl and ran, leaving Renee stranded in the hot Arizona desert where she died of dehydration. Phil continued his abuse of the small girl until he was picked up on a drunken driving charge. When they realized who they had he was charged with murder and sent to Montana to stand trial.

Bella was left on her own in the dilapidated house until a mail carrier notified police a child who appeared to be mentally handicapped was living alone. It was then she was rescued and put into the state system.

"The poor child," Esme said and wiped her face. "I can't stand the thought of what she has been through."

Jasper stood and walked to the window before he spoke. "We need a woman involved with her treatment plan, someone to act as a mother figure."

Esme quickly spoke up. "I would love to help if I can."

"We still don't know who the core personality is," Carlisle pointed out.

Esme let more tears fall and said, "Does it matter, she needs to be loved regardless which personality is really her."

"It does matter," dad replied sadly. "We need to integrate her into a fully whole person."

I thought about things for a moment and then said, "Maybe we should start with just little Bella. If we strengthen her maybe the dominate personality will become more evident."

My father looked at me with pride and said, "That's a good suggestion. I think you are right, son."

We decided to let Esme visit the next day and I forced myself to go right home that night. I couldn't watch Baby Doll as she struggled to bring forth her repressed sexual feelings. She had every right to be a woman, and it wasn't right she had to be someone else to show her own desires. I got a restless night's sleep and rushed to the office the next morning. I had an appointment with Rose and Emmett and I wanted to get it over with.

The moment they came into the room they could tell something was wrong. It surprised me when Rose said softly with concern, "Are you okay Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes," I assured her. "I have a very difficult patient and it has cost me some sleep."

"I'm sorry," she offered, and I almost asked to see her identification. It wasn't the side of Rose I was used to seeing and it made me wonder if we aren't all fractured a little. Were we all porcelain dolls with degrees of cracks and trying to make it in our own little dollhouses?

I was deep in thought when Rosalie gave me the greatest gift of all. "Why don't we reschedule and let you work on whatever it is on your mind."

I had a newfound respect for the woman and I thanked her profusely. I headed to the hospital and when I got there my mother was in the room with Bella. She had her changed into a beautiful long gown with a flowered robe. I shook my head and should have realized my mother would want to bring fashion into the treatment.

We needed Bella in a generic gown, not a comfortable style for any of the personalities so she would be uncomfortable no matter what. We couldn't let something as simple as sleeping gowns determine which personality would become dominate. I decided to let it pass for now and watched them interact.

Bella was in her little Bella persona and my mother was telling her a story about when she was a small girl. I smiled at the thought of my beautiful mother running through the farmlands of Ohio with dirty shoes and a messy face. It didn't fit with the woman she was today.

I finally went into Bella's room and she gave me a big smile. "Hello ladies," I said and gave them both a kiss on the cheek. Bella reached out and grabbed my hand so I held it tightly.

"Do you like her new gown and robe?" my mother asked with pride.

"Yes, very much, but maybe we better go back to the hospital gown so the other patients don't get jealous," I said, trying to sound like I was teasing. My mother got the hint and she blushed a little from embarrassment. "It's okay," I assured her.

I turned my attention to Bella and said, "I have a surprise to show you, will you come with me to a play room?"

Her hand instantly pulled from mine and she touched her ear over and over again. I realized what I said sounded suggestive and I wanted to kick myself. I spoke softly and said, "Bella, it is a room with toys for everyone to play with. There is nothing that will hurt you. I won't touch you, I promise."

She finally nodded but wouldn't take my hand again. I let her walk behind me and saw my mother follow along with us. As we got further down the hallway Bella reached out for Esme's hand, so my mother held Bella's body tightly to her own.

We entered a room filled with various therapy toys, but I took Bella directly to the large dollhouse in the corner. I picked up a small girl doll and a male doll and set them in a plastic boat. "Look," I said with a smile, "Bella and her father are fishing."

Bella's eyes filled with tears and she walked over to sit next to the boat. She reached out slowly and picked up the male doll. She ran her finger lightly down his face and then pulled it to her chest and began to cry. She held it tightly as she rocked back and forth. My mother began wiping her own tears and I pulled her behind me to keep Bella from being distracted. I watched with fascination at every movement and sound she made.

She finally set the doll down, without returning it to the boat and picked up the Bella Barbie. Her brow furrowed as she stared at the face and then suddenly ripped the head off of the doll. I thought she was done playing, but she put the beheaded doll in the house on a chair and then began to set up other furniture.

She made individual rooms, most likely in the order of a house she remembered. She got a mother doll and put it in the kitchen, and then she took the headless doll and made her dance to music in her mind. I knelt next to her and picked up another male and placed it in the house.

Bella stopped the dancing and held the doll perfectly still. I whispered very softly and said, "Is the doll Edward?"

She touched her ear but her face never changed expressions or moved. I decided to push more and said, "Is the doll Phil?"

Her eyes moved to look at the plastic face of a generic male Barbie and her body began to shake. "I spoke right into her ear and said, "Show him he can't hurt little Bella, make him pay for what he did to her."

Bella began to breathe very deeply and her chest rose and fell as her anger grew. "Make sure he never touches her again," I said loudly, and Bella let out an animalist howl as she grabbed the doll and pulled it into pieces.

I stood to get out of her way and spoke louder. "Yes, Bella. Take control; never let him hurt her again. You have the power now, not him."

She threw the pieces of the ripped apart doll around the room and then fell back to her knees. I yelled, "Show her now, show Bella he is gone forever."

She grabbed the headless doll as she breathed through clenched teeth. I was afraid she was going to throw it too, but she stared at it in her hand as her panting slowed. I softened my voice as I said, "She's safe now, you made her safe."

She spoke for the first time as little Bella. It wasn't a voice with an accent or a giggle as she tried to seduce me. It was the voice of a child, talking to herself. "You're okay now, he's gone."

I sat down next to her and she turned to look at me. I asked, "Do you remember being alone when he was gone?"

She nodded and then said clearly, "Yes."

"And you had no food or money?" I pushed.

"I ate from the garbage cans," she told me as tears filled her eyes.

"When the adults found you they didn't understand, did they? They continued to hurt you by moving you into scary places."

She nodded and reached up to wipe the tears spilling from her eyes. I then had to say something that caused tears into my eyes. "And Dr. Cullen didn't understand either, and he left you."

She nodded with purpose and I felt the weight of guilt settle upon me. I smiled and touched her trembling chin. "I'm here now and I understand."

"And you won't leave me?" she asked in the voice of a terrified child.

"No, I won't leave you," I promised. "Do you want to go back to your room and talk?"

She sighed and then got up and held out her hand for mine. I took it lovingly and held it with both of mine. We returned to her room and she sat on a chair. After I started the video I sat on the small sofa.

"Bella when you were in the house alone did you have times you couldn't remember what you had been doing or where you had been?"

She looked surprised by the question and shook her head. "It's like I fall asleep and time moves but I'm not aware of anything."

"Do you ever hear voices in your head, almost like someone else is talking to you?"

She thought for a moment and then said with confusion, "No, I don't think so."

"Do you remember leaving the hospital with your grandmother?" I asked, making my first big mistake.

Bella's real grandmother was not Mrs. Harris and she had let another personality leave with the woman to protect the child inside of her. I just brought up more pain for some of the persona's but hope for little Bella.

"My grandma came for me?" she asked with expectation.

I cussed at myself and then tried to backtrack. "I'm sorry," I offered, knowing it came nowhere near what she needed to hear. "I meant Mrs. Harris, not your grandmother."

Bella's face fell and a blank mask took its face. I lost her again, pushing her to fast. I was desperate for her to understand she wasn't alone in her mind, so I picked her up and placed her in her bed. I held her hand and spoke softly as I apologized and promised I would be with her as long as it took to make her whole again.

I heard a soft knock on the glass and I nodded in that direction. I set her hand on the bed gently and then left the room to talk with my father and Jasper. It had been a great day with a major breakthrough, but I felt drained and hopeless as I left her there staring blankly, without any knowledge of the chaos going on inside her head.


	14. Chapter 14

14

We watched the tapes of Bella in the playroom and of our conversation in her room. Both my father and Jasper were elated with the progress. I was pretending to be happy. I had managed to do what I should have done ten years ago and help little Bella speak with her own voice. I had missed all the clues and left her trapped in confusion longer than she should have been.

"I think you've managed to consolidate her rage persona with little Bella. She'll be able to speak about it and feel the emotions she should feel. But we need to reach the core personality," my father stated. "Jasper, why don't you make a run at Marie?"

I looked over at my partner with a twinge of jealousy. He would help the adult woman I should have helped and if Marie turned out to be the core he would be her savior. My father noticed my expression and said, "Edward, I think you need to stay with little Bella and Baby Doll. I'll work with Bella Swan."

I nodded but inside I was seething. I didn't want either one of them near her. I felt possessive and protective of the girl I saw as my patient. I walked over to the glass and then sighed loudly when I saw my mother painting Bella's fingernails. "You need to talk to mom," I said, and my father walked over to join me.

"She only wants to help," he pointed out.

"Yes, but who's nails are being painted? We need her not to confuse the issue."

My father put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Son, she just wants to show Bella kindness."

I quickly tossed my shoulder to force his hand away and said with anger, "Exactly, but maybe she is actually helping Baby Doll to develop better ways to pick up men. Or the Swan woman to get her man more excited. Tell her to stop or she isn't welcome here anymore."

I knew I was being absurd, and the look on Jasper and my father's faces reiterated the notion. I was feeling so disconnected because I cared so much for the woman in the bed, but I wasn't even sure which woman she was. I stormed from the room and no one tried to stop me.

I headed back to my office and walked in to find Debbie waiting anxiously. "Why aren't you answering your phone?" she demanded.

I realized I had never turned it back on after meeting with Rose and Emmett. I apologized and as I reached for my door she said, "You have someone waiting for you."

My hand froze and I asked softly, "Who?"

"A woman and her daughter, I guess she wants you to take the daughter as a patient."

I took a moment to pull myself together and then walked into the room to find Tanya and Jane sitting across from my desk. I wanted to stomp my foot and cry like a two year old. This was the very last thing I needed today.

I didn't attempt a smile and said, "Tanya, this isn't ethical. I can't see her for you."

"No, this is totally legitimate," she begged. "I can't handle her anymore and she needs help."

I looked at the girl who looked vaguely familiar. Her skin was dotted with acne and her hair was lifeless. I felt like the world was crowding in on me, but this was the profession I had chosen so I needed to do my job. I finally nodded and said, "Tanya, would you mind waiting outside?"

She smiled and jumped up and left the room. I smiled at Jane and she glared at me as she said, "She still loves you, you know."

I ignored her attempt to bait me and sat back in my chair as I said, "So how old are you now, Jane?"

"I'll be fourteen in three weeks," she said dryly.

It was yet another reminder how much time had passed.

"Is there something specific bothering you or anything you want to talk to me about?" I asked, hoping to get right to the point.

"My mother's a bitch," she stated emphatically. I had to work hard not to laugh or shout out an Amen. Instead I remained quiet and waited for her to add more. "She thinks I'm ugly and stupid, and in her way."

"Has she ever used those exact words?" I asked, and Jane finally shook her head. "So what makes you think she feels that way?"

"She always comments on my looks or what I wear. I don't feel like her daughter, I feel like a doll she wants to show off."

Her words stuck a cord with me and I became defensive. I immediately began telling Jane she was her own person, who didn't need to become anyone else to please her mother. Jane was nodding in agreement and I finally took a deep breath to calm down.

"Jane, what are your hobbies?" I asked her.

She thought for a moment and said, "I like to run, like in track, but my mom says it makes me break out."

"Well, I'm going to tell your mother she needs to let you excel in what you choose to do. It isn't her choice, it is yours. But you need to work on communicating with your mom. If you talk to her and not shut her out, it will help you both build a better relationship."

"Okay," she said softly. I smiled and asked her to step from the room and send her mother in. She walked out with her head held high and I felt a sense of accomplishment. Tanya came in smiling knowingly at me so I adjusted my expression and scowled at her.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"Lay off the kid, she thinks you hate her," I said sternly.

"I don't hate my daughter," she argued. "She just won't listen to me."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, suddenly feeling the beginning of a headache approaching. I let my hand fall sharply to my desk and said, "Tanya, running does not cause acne. Her hormones are going crazy right now. Let her run and see a dermatologist for treatment."

"Boys don't like girls on the track team," she said, as if it would make Jane a freak.

"No, they like little whores, so you don't want them liking Jane at this age. Let her develop into the woman she wants to be, Tanya. Not a miniature version of you."

I hoped she didn't realize I just called her a whore, but she didn't react and I got away with the statement. She sighed and relaxed her shoulders as she said, "Boys are so much easier. You should see my little Alec, he's an angel."

I could see her mind working and how she was using this situation to get closer to me. I stood and said, "I need to speak with Jane a bit more, will you excuse me."

She stared at me like I had insulted her family name. She could care less about the development of her daughter so I had to show her I was only willing to help in a professional capacity. She finally stood and walked silently from the room. Jane came back in and I looked at my watch to see how much time I had to fill. I asked her about school and her friends. By the time our hour was up I was beginning to really like the girl. She was outgoing and opinionated, but she had a good head on her shoulders.

I walked her to the door and when she was through I shut it quickly so her mother couldn't' come in to bother me. I picked up the phone and told Debbie to get my father on the line for me. I heard her tell Tanya she had to get back to work and it made me chuckle. It appeared I was helping us both out.

My dad answered and I asked about Bella. He told me Jasper had been talking with Marie but wasn't making much progress. She had pulled the robe over her head and was talking without making sense. He finally agreed my mother should not have provided the robe, but I was past my need for an, I told you so.

I told him I would be there in a few minutes and made sure Tanya was really gone before heading out of the office. I was on my way to the hospital when a small doll shop caught my eye. I pulled over and went inside. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I would know when I saw it.

I looked around at the various baby dolls and nothing jumped out at me. I turned to leave the store and I saw a cabinet of porcelain dolls lined up against the front wall. I looked at the painted on smiles and their large empty eyes. They looked fragile, just like Bella. I reached for one with long dark hair and dark eyes. She had on a dark blue lacy gown with an umbrella in her hand. She was beautiful.

I paid two hundred dollars for the doll and left it in my car when I got to the hospital. My father was in Bella's room talking with the professional version. Jasper looked exhausted and I offered him a supportive pat on the back.

The next words spoken by Bella caught my attention. She was begging my father to let her see Jake. I stood there and listened to her talk about her love for the man, and how much his presence would help her. I felt sick inside, staring at the only strong version and worrying if this was the woman she was going to be in the end.

My father told her he would think about it and then began working on bringing forth her memory of Forks. "Bella, tell me about where you were born."

She laughed and said, "Forks is a tiny town of no consequence."

"Does it rain a lot?" he asked her.

"Oh no, it hardly ever rains, it is nothing like Seattle."

I rubbed my chin, feeling the new growth of stubble as I considered her words. I thought Forks was on the west side of the state, not the dryer east side. Jasper ended my confusion by saying, "Forks has more rainfall than Seattle."

My father pushed more by saying, "Your father is a cop?"

"Yes, the police chief," she said proudly.

"So he must be very protective of you," he said.

Her eyes wavered a bit and she began to get nervous. Dad continued on and said, "I bet he would be very angry if anyone hurt you?"

She began to shake and her arms wrapped around her body but dad pushed even more. "I bet he would do anything to save his little girl, even give his own life for her."

Bella slowly stood and looked around the room like she was searching for a way to escape. Carlisle stood and towered in front of her, blocking any way around him. He leaned a little and looked her right into the eyes and said, "He died for his little girl, didn't he?"

Bella screamed out in torment and my father pulled her into his arms. She was fighting him, trying to hit him with her arms and twisting to get out of his grasp. He held on tightly and continued with his words, getting to the heart of the memories.

"He took her fishing, but Phil showed up. He tried to help her, but he couldn't."

Bella cried out louder and dad encouraged it. "Cry for him Bella, let it out. That bastard hurt your father and he was a good man. It is okay to cry for him."

Her arms finally wrapped around my father as she sobbed loudly. I felt an overwhelming urge to rush in and comfort her. I was just about to rush from the room when she said loudly into my father's shoulder. "I need Jake, please let me see Jake."

My stomach lurched, knowing this woman had no idea who I was or how much I cared for her. She needed the one man she trusted, Jake, and I would have to see him with his arms around her, doing what I couldn't. I walked from the room and out of the hospital.

The doll was lying on the seat next to me and I pushed it onto the floor of the car. I went home and sat at my small table to eat my microwave meal. My phone rang and I expected it to be Jasper, but I was stunned to see it was Marcus.

"Hello," I answered.

"Doctor, I need your help. I've slit my wrists and I'm bleeding to death."

For one split second, a brief moment of time, I considered hanging up and letting him die. But I forced myself to ask, "Where are you?"


	15. Chapter 15

I now had two patients in the psychiatric ward of the local hospital. One who only knew me half of the time and another who never once listened to me. I sat in a chair as I looked at Marcus's stitched up arms. He wasn't fully awake but his wife was comforting him as his eyes twitched and jerked.

"What would make him do this?" she asked.

I wanted to laugh and tell her the woman down the hall made him do this. The fragmented woman who let him look at her body for pleasure caused him to slit his wrists when he couldn't find her anymore. Instead I stood and said, "I'll check on him in the morning. Try to get some rest."

She gave me a hug and then I left the room. I walked down to Bella's observation room and saw her dancing around the room in just her sleeping gown. She had it pulled up until it was short and then held there with the belt from the robe.

I walked into her room and when she turned to see me her eyes lit up and a smile covered her face. "You came," she said, and rushed over to take both of my hands.

I instantly felt better. I was grinning from ear to ear and she pulled me over to the chair and pushed me down. Her legs straddled me and she wrapped her arms around my neck. "I want to play, do you want to play?" she asked.

"I can take you to the play room," I offered, and she bounced up and down on my lap. It was gloriously disturbing so I scooted her back, closer to my knees.

"Yes, a play room. You can watch me dance and I'll let you watch me have an orgasm," she said with joy.

My body reacted to her words, letting the images burst into my mind. I had to really focus and I said, "May we talk a little first?"

She nodded in agreement and then took hold of my hand and brought it to the hot, wet spot between her legs. "What do you want to talk about?" she asked.

I closed my eyes, screaming at myself to move my hand from the place that held it captive. I slowly pulled it away and she moaned from my movement. I had to swallow a couple of times to gain control of my brain. "Baby Doll, why do you like to dance?"

She giggled and then shrugged her shoulders so I pressed her. "Did your mother dance?"

Her body stopped bouncing and she moved to climb off of my lap. I grabbed onto her, telling myself it was part of the therapy to keep her captive to my words, but in reality I hated to lose the connection I was feeling with her on my lap.

"Where did you learn to dance?" I asked in a rush.

She smiled seductively and leaned over to whisper in my ear. Her breath smelled of candy again and the heat of her words set my body on fire. "The music makes me horny," she said softly.

I wanted to pull her to my mouth, to kiss the sweetness she was offering, but I refrained and said, "Was it your music… or his?"

She remained leaning so she could speak directly into my ear and said, "Mama gave it to me so I couldn't hear."

I couldn't imagine the horror this mother and daughter had lived through. "Did it work?" I asked, and gently rubbed her back.

She pushed away and looked at me with her bottom lips sticking out. "I want to play," she demanded.

"Okay," I said, and helped her off my lap. I took her hand and led her down the hallway to the play room. She giggled at the large space and began twirling around as she hummed loudly. I began to really notice her movements; they were beginning ballet moves that little girls usually learned.

I walked to the middle of the room and reached out to stop her. "Here, let me teach you a new dance. This is called the waltz." I put her one hand on my shoulder and the other in mine before I began to hum and move her around the room. She laughed loudly and began to hum along with me.

It wasn't the smooth choreographed version of the dance. It was awkward with us both stumbling through the steps, but it was innocent fun that Baby Doll needed to experience. When I stopped moving she kept her hands in place and said, "Another one."

I tried to think and said, "Okay, this is the Charleston." I began moving my legs and arms as she watched with excitement. She quickly caught on and began making the same moves next to me. I had learned the dance for a party my parent threw years ago, never thinking I would use it again. I completely let go and began adding my own interpretations as Baby Doll did the same.

We were laughing hysterically and when she tumbled into me I caught her in my arms. She looked up at my face and then without any laughter I said, "I love you."

She instantly connected her mouth to mine, kissing me with a passion that almost consumed me. I responded in every way, pulling her body against mine as I forgot I was holding a patient and held her like my lover.

My hands moved down her back to her ass and she climbed up my frame to circle me with her legs. I knew I had to stop, it was breaking all kinds of ethics, but her warm tongue entered my mouth and I couldn't force myself to back away. She finally spoke, keeping her lips against mine as she said, "You can touch me if you want."

It was enough to bring me back to my senses. I sat her on her feet and had to push her shoulders away to disconnect our lips. She looked at me with her eyes bright and smiled. I tried to find some sort of strength and moved back a couple of steps.

"You have no idea who I am, do you?" I said as reality filtered into me.

"Yes, you like to play with me," she said with a confused expression.

I shook my head and watched her smile fade. "No, I'm your therapist. I'm trying to help you," I admitted.

"Help me with what?" she asked.

I felt like I had been gutted and my voice showed my disappointment. "I'm trying to help you remember who you are and who hurt you. You are Bella Swan, does that ring a bell?"

She began humming and twirling again, trying to block out my words. I wanted to shake her and force her to remember she was the core self, but in reality I was wanting her to desperately be Baby Doll because this version of Bella responded to me more than any other. Little Bella remembered me, but she was just as giving with my mother. I felt this Bella was mine and I liked the way she held me and kissed me.

I walked over and collapsed into a chair. What was wrong with me? I was trying to justify my actions toward a fractured person, incapable of choosing anyone to love. I had crossed a line and if things didn't change I would lose my patient and my license.

I finally looked up at her and said, "Go look at the dollhouse and see if there is something you want to play with."

She skipped to the large enclosure and stared at the furniture little Bella set up. She looked at it for a long time and finally reached out and moved a table about an inch to the left. Her back went rigid and she spoke in an angry tone when she said, "No, it is night time, it is my time."

I jumped up and rushed over to her. "Who wants to play?" I asked her. I knew another personality was fighting to emerge. It would have to be stronger than Baby Doll to overtake her when she was so present in the moment.

She looked at me and smiled before saying, "Let's dance again."

I grabbed onto her shoulders and said, "Yes, it is your time, but who wanted to come out to play, do you know who it is?"

She leaned in very close to me and said in a whisper, "I hate her, she's bossy."

"Who is she?" I asked quietly in return.

She laughed and pulled away from me as she danced and sang, "I'm not going to tell you."

I was sure this Bella was the core personality. She not only knew of the others, but she was able to control them when she wanted. I was so anxious to talk with Jasper and my father. I interrupted her singing and took her hand before saying, "We need to go back to the room, come with me."

She pulled my arm to rest between her breasts and hugged it tightly. We walked from the room and headed down the hallway. A nurse came from a room, pushing a wheelchair which contained Marcus. His wife was walking beside him when Baby Doll squealed and ran at him, his wife stepped in the way and pushed her harshly.

I grabbed onto Bella and pulled her away from Marcus and his wife. "Don't you want to play?" Baby Doll asked him with a hurt expression.

"Come on," I said as I pulled her down the hallway.

She looked behind us back at the old man in the chair and said, "You can touch my body this time."

Marcus yelled loudly, desperate to make things better with his wife. "You crazy bitch, I have no idea who you are. Leave me alone and don't speak to me."

Bella was livid and began yelling details of their 'relationship' to humiliate him. She was pulling on my arms for me to free her as she spoke with horrible language. I finally grabbed her around the waist and picked her up off the ground and pulled her into her room. She kicked and screamed against the door, but she couldn't open it without the code.

I let her get her rage out and when she fell to the floor in tears I finally approached her. I wrapped my arms around her and spoke gently to keep her calm. "Don't worry about him. He's a creep and a sad excuse for a man."

"He said it didn't matter if I was broken, but he lied," she said sadly.

"I want to help you get fixed. You don't have to be broken," I told her, so she could see the difference between me and Marcus. I wanted her to trust me enough that she could admit to being the dominate self.

Her eyes turned to focus on mine. She had tears and my heart ached for her. She tried to smile and her voice was soft and weak. "I'm afraid I don't have much time left. I'll disappear soon."

I shook my head and leaned to kiss her forehead. "You'll never disappear. I'll make sure of it."

I helped her make it to her bed and told her I had something to cheer her up. I left her alone as I ran out to my car and got the doll. I was anxious to give it to her and see the happiness on her face. I found her still sitting on her bed.

I held the doll behind my back and waited until she looked at me before I came closer. I was smiling anxiously and said, "I bought this just for you."

"What?" she asked, and clapped her hands as she bounced up and down.

I pulled the doll from behind me and held it out to her. She looked at it with wide eyes and then slowly let her mouth open and her hand reach hesitantly for the doll. She touched the lace and then moved her fingers to the dolls face, checking for any unseen cracks.

She looked up with wet eyes and said, "She's beautiful."

"She's you," I said, hoping she would use the doll as a symbolic ideal.

She let her hand fall. "No," she said with a sigh. "I'm still broken."

"Don't you see," I said emphatically, "You don't have to be. I can help you."

She looked around the room as if checking for a witness or bystander. She leaned in closely and said, "She'll never let me stay. She'll make me go away."

"Who?" I asked as my heart pounded in my chest. I was aware if she gave me a name it would be the core. Every second felt like an hour as I waited to hear if she would tell me what I desperately needed to know.

She cupped her hand around her lips and without any voice she mouthed, "Marie."


	16. Chapter 16

16

I went home that night in total despair. My father had been right; the one person who had total disregard for everyone was the core personality. I thought about it all night, the way she wore layers of clothing, caring for the other personalities. She kept her posture huddled, trying to keep everyone together and safe. Baby Doll was able to come out because she waited for Marie to sleep.

I felt sick for falling for a sliver of a person who would most likely be the last part of Bella to integrate and learn to be an expressed side of the woman. Her sexuality was something she ignored; it was the only way Baby Doll could gain any strength over Marie.

I slept in the next morning since I had been up most of the night. My phone rang, but I ignored it, knowing I didn't have an appointment and afraid it would be Tanya. I finally got up around noon and looked at my phone as I took a piss.

Jasper and my father had called several times. I wondered if they had come to the same conclusion or had some sort of breakthrough. I showered and dressed before heading to the hospital. I checked on Marcus, who was pouting and refusing to talk with me. He acted as if I was the one making him get off on a young woman.

I left his room and headed quickly to the observation room. I walked in the door and before I could adjust to the low light Jasper grabbed me roughly and pushed me against the wall. His face was distorted into one of complete anger. He spit all over me as he spoke. "You stupid fucker, what were you thinking? She's my patient and if you come near her again I'll have you arrested," he yelled.

I pushed him off of me as I felt my sore neck where he was crushing my windpipe. "What are you talking about?" I asked him. "I found out who the core is."

He raised his hand and turned his head away from me. "Get out of my sight," he said angrily.

My own anger rose at the thought of never seeing Bella again. "No," I screamed. "I've known her since she was a child. I care more for her than you ever will."

"Because I'm not emotionally involved, you idiot," he yelled back.

"Fine, I'm emotionally involved. I'll stop as her therapist but I am going to be involved as someone who cares for her," I demanded.

Jasper grabbed the front of my shirt and threw me against the glass. "Get in line," he said, and I turned to see Jake sitting next to Bella, holding her hands in his. My father sat across from them.

I stood there with the blood draining from my face as Bella professed her love for Jake and begged him to get her out of there. She cried when my father told her it wasn't possible just yet, but he would allow Jake to visit more often.

I felt like he was allowing Jake to come around in order to discourage me. My own father was working against me. I turned to look at Jasper and said, "Marie is the core, my dad was right."

Jasper nodded and said, "We watched the tapes from last night."

I shut my eyes when I realized everything they had witnessed. I had forgotten about the camera in the playroom and I knew my dad would be rougher on me than Jasper was. I didn't have any excuses. I stepped over the line and I knew it. The only thing I could do is walk away and trust my dad and Jasper to put Bella back together the best they could.

I walked out of the room and headed straight to a bar. I drank until all the pain was gone from my body. I didn't remember anything, how I got home, or what I had done. My head was killing me and when I sat up to see if I was sober enough to walk, someone stirred in the bed next to me.

I looked over in shock to see strawberry hair all over a pillow. I stared as the body slowly turned and looked down at Tanya's sleeping face. I jumped from the bed and stepped on a wet condom which stuck to my foot. At least I had used protection. I felt my stomach lurch and I ran to the bathroom to vomit into the toilet.

I wasn't sure if it was all the alcohol I had consumed, or seeing Tanya in my bed, that made me lose my stomach contents… That was really just booze, anyway. I placed my arm across the toilet seat and rested my forehead as I took some deep breaths.

"Do you need help?" Tanya asked in a sultry voice.

"Yeah, I need to be committed," I admitted truthfully. "How did I end up with you yesterday?"

"I had a date and ran into you at a bar. You were drunk off your ass and in a pretty randy mood, I might add."

I fell back onto my ass and rested my arms on my knees. I had officially hit rock bottom and I had to find some way to pull myself back up. Tanya walked over and ran a tub of water. She told me to soak while she got me something for my hangover. I crawled to the tub and climbed in as it filled.

She came back with some aspirin and a bloody Mary. "Here, this will help you come down a little slower."

"Thanks," I said earnestly. I was planning to tell her to stay away from me but she was being so sweet I couldn't do it just yet.

She got a wash rag and placed it over my eyes as I sighed in pleasure. She sat on the edge of the tub and said, "I'm glad I found you, I would hate to think of you going home with some crazy person."

Her comment brought me back to my situation. I admitted to myself I would rather be with crazy Bella than here with Tanya. "How's Jane?" I asked to change the subject.

"A pain in the ass," she said with frustration.

I shook my head a little, trying to keep the rag over my eyes. "Tanya, she is screaming for your attention. You should be home with her and not here with me."

"You needed me," she said, as if my world would have ended without her.

"I'm not the first man to drink away his problems and I'm sure I won't be the last," I said, trying to soften the truth of my condition. "Hell, I'll probably end up drunk again this week."

"So you're an alcoholic now?" she asked as her voice rose in anger.

I groaned at the idea of having this conversation with her. I didn't owe her any explanation and I wasn't about to offer her one. "Never mind," I said softly.

"No, say what you want to say," she challenged me.

I pulled the rag off my face and looked right at her. "Last night was a mistake. I don't know how I ended up in bed with you, but it was a mistake."

Her eyes flashed with anger and she stood up and walked to the door. I looked at her body, appreciating the view for a woman of her age. "Last night you called me your baby doll, but now I'm a mistake?"

I put the rag back over my eyes and worked to keep my stomach contents down. Tanya slammed the door and I listened to her dress and then leave as she slammed the apartment door. I chuckled without finding it really funny. "Well, you won't be seeing Jane anymore, Dr. Cullen," I said out loud. I was systematically losing my patients one right after another.

I got out of the tub when the water cooled and threw on some boxers before collapsing into my bed again. It was a few hours later when my doorbell rang. I ignored it and when I head the door unlock I assumed my father or mother would be coming into the room to chew my ass.

I was shocked when Alice called out my name instead. I rolled over onto my back and waited for her to come into my room. She stood in the doorway and called out, "Are you drunk?"

"Not enough," I admitted.

She walked over to sit on my bed and rubbed my arm as if she found me pitiful. "So, did Jasper dump you for having an ass for a brother?" I asked her.

"Family comes first," she said, but I seriously doubted she meant it. We were silent for a moment and then she said, "Edward, I'm worried about you."

"Why would you be worried about me?" I laughed. "Just because I'm in love with a woman who is emotionally a Rubik's cube and I spent the night fucking a woman who makes me vomit at the very thought of her, doesn't mean you should worry.

"Okay, then let's talk it out. Remember how you would come into my room and make me talk about everything? I always felt so much better afterwards."

I remembered back to those days and decided to come clean about everything. "I was sixteen and in college, I thought I knew everything and wanted to pretend I did," I confessed.

She moved to lie down next to me, her tiny frame only coming to my shoulders. "Well, it helped all the same, so cough it up."

I looked up at the ceiling and said, "The woman I love has five personalities, and only one and a half of them like me back."

Alice turned her head to look up at me, and I turned mine to look down at her. She suddenly burst into laughter and even when I pushed her off the bed she continued to laugh. Soon I was laughing too, regardless of my pounding head.

I reached down and held out my hand to help her up. She got back onto the bed and wrapped her arm around my waist. "I know it hurts, Edward, no matter how messed up it is."

"Thanks, Allie," I said and kissed her head. "So what is Jasper saying?"

"He thinks dad is brilliant," Alice said, taking another swipe at me. "He did say you solved something, so he can't be too upset…oh, I added the last part," she confessed.

"Can I ask a favor?" I asked her.

"I won't lie to Jasper," she said in case that was my request.

I had to admit my sister was a pretty amazing person. She had more integrity than I had. "Just don't tell anyone Tanya was over here."

"I won't," she chuckled. "I have my own reputation to think about."

I grabbed her arm and held it high as I tickled her relentlessly. She screamed and laughed and it was music to my soul. When I let her go I looked at her laughing face and said, "I love you Allie, and I can't thank you enough for coming over here."

She leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Hang in there, Edward. It will get better."

She walked to the bedroom door and turned to give me one of her signature smirks and then left me to my own thoughts. Her advice was exactly what I needed to do…hang in there. If I wanted the whole Bella to be mine I was going to have to fight for her.

I would fight my father, who was a much better doctor than me. I would have to fight Jasper, my partner and future brother-in-law. And I would have to fight Jake, for the affections of the professional side of Bella. But the biggest fight would come from Marie. I would have to fight her for the heart of the woman she keeps so protected.

I felt much better and decided to head to the office to begin the long overdue process of getting my head on straight. I didn't just sit and sulk or work on files. I got online and reached out to any doctor with experience working with integration of personalities. I was determined to become an expert and do everything possible to help the woman I loved, not just Baby Doll, but the whole woman.


	17. Chapter 17

17

I stayed away from the hospital as I gathered more and more information on multiple personality disorder. I spoke with several experts, but one in particular caught my attention. She was from Cambridge and worked with a young man who had fourteen personalities. She successfully integrated them, but said she would do things differently if she had it to do over again.

"What exactly concerns you about the methodology?" I asked, with my pen at the ready.

"There are great medications now to help the individual keep certain personalities suppressed; I don't call that full integration. I would leave out all the medication and put the person in seclusion to learn to live with the various sides in harmony. I think that would lead to a better quality of life."

"A mental hospital?" I asked, but my mind was already rejecting that idea.

"No, a cabin, or a farm, or someplace where the individual could be free to express true emotions," she explained.

I thought about her suggestion for a long time. I had to admit getting Bella away from Jake sounded wonderful, but I know a part of her really cared for him. I worried and studied for close to a week when one afternoon I looked up to see Rose and Emmett looking back at me.

"I told you," Rose said to her husband.

"What?" I asked.

"You look like you could use a friend. Put your books away and come to our place for dinner," she suggested. I began to decline but she continued on. "I'm not taking no for an answer. Em can put some t-bones on the grill and we'll just hang out. Come on."

My stomach growled at the thought of a steak and I realized I hadn't talked to anyone else for most of the week. Jasper was either ignoring me, or still pissed as hell. I nodded and began putting my stuff away.

Emmett rode in my car and I was very surprised at where they lived. I expected a modern condo or fancy home, but they lived in an older area in a restored old home. It was amazing and I gawked at all the fine touches Emmett had done himself.

We sat on a covered deck and listened to the rain as the steaks grilled. Rose smiled at me and said, "Edward, does all of this have to do with your difficult patient?"

"I guess it does," I admitted.

"I know you can't tell me anything, and I really don't want to know, but if her problems deal with abuse I can most likely give you some insight."

I stared at this strong, beautiful woman in front of me and couldn't imagine anyone abusing her. She came from a wealthy family and surely they paid for years of counseling to make her into the person she is now. I finally said, "Yes, it deals with abuse."

Emmett came over from the grill and stood behind his wife and rubbed her shoulders as she spoke. I was spellbound by her story and couldn't think of what question to ask first.

"When I was sixteen," she began, "I dated the most popular boy in town. His family was the richest, and he was the handsomest. He was in college and told me I was special. He said he would marry me when I graduated and spend his life making me happy. Instead he betrayed me in the most horrible way, him and his buddies. They told me nobody would believe me if I said anything and they would all stick together on a story."

"Did you tell?" I asked.

"Not at first. I was smart enough to save the panties I had worn without washing them. And I took pictures with my own camera of the injuries. I don't know why I did it, I just did."

"You were a very smart girl," I said, and she smiled widely at me.

"When they did it to another girl I couldn't keep quiet anymore. I went to the police and I was terrified. But I was so tired of hiding in the darkness, I wanted to come into the light and it felt like a spotlight. I actually imagined I was on a stage playing a part and I had to make it as believable as possible. I became disconnected from the feelings by playing them. The more I got into the role the more I liked it. By the time the trial was over I was Oscar worthy."

Emmett leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek and then went back to check the steaks. Rose continued on with her story in which I was held captive.

"One day it dawned on me that I wasn't playing anymore. I had grown strong and the emotions I was feeling were real. I had taken back my power, and they had nothing. I showed up at every hearing, every appeal, every mention in the paper had a quote from me along with it. I had my voice and I refused to be silent."

She leaned over and placed her hand on top of mine and said, "Until you forced me to shut up for an entire day."

I laughed at the memory and she didn't laugh along with me. Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head as she said, "No seriously. It helped me more than you'll know. I remained quiet and Emmett talked all day long. He told me everything that bothered him, but he didn't once mention the attack or my aggressive attitude. I knew then it meant nothing to him. He loved me without even considering it."

I felt a sense of pride that I managed to do something positive for them. I wasn't fully aware I was doing it, but maybe something from a book or class prompted me to make that suggestion. I looked at Rose, who was now filling me with strength and said, "Thank you, I needed to hear that story."

"Maybe your patient just needs to find her voice and grow in the part she needs to play?" Rose offered.

"Maybe," I agreed. I decided at that moment that I needed to take Bella away. Somewhere she could feel comfortable and learn to accept the different sides to her personality. I also needed to find a way to convince Jasper and my father, too.

I spent the evening with Emmett and Rose and began to see them as friends instead of patients. I liked the way they teased with one another without being mean or hateful. They were obviously in love and I hoped to find that someday with Bella.

When I left I decided to go past my parents' house and see my father for the first time since he saw the tape. I was a bit embarrassed and also a bit concerned that he hadn't tried to contact me. I knew he must be terribly disappointed, and most likely chalked it up to sending me to college too early. I wanted to prove him wrong.

I rang the doorbell, since I wasn't sure I was welcome. My mother answered and gave me an odd expression. "Why did you ring the bell?" she asked.

Instead of explaining I asked, "Is dad home?"

She stepped back and let me into the house. I walked down the hallway to his office and felt the weight of each step. I rapped my knuckles on the door and couple of times and then opened it. He was sitting at his desk with a text book in front of him, exactly like he was every time I entered his office.

"Hey dad," I said nervously, "do you have a minute?"

"Sure," he said and closed the book. I walked to a chair and took a deep breath before I looked up at him and tried to smile.

When he didn't smile in return I said, "Look, I know I messed up, but I don't see her as strictly my patient."

"She is no longer your patient," he pointed out.

I nodded as I felt my body begin to shake. "Yeah, that is what I want to talk to you about. I spoke with Dr. Springer…."

"From Cambridge?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes, she said she would do everything differently now and I agree with her assessment."

"Differently how?" he asked, suddenly interested in what I had to say.

"She wouldn't use medications, at all."

He chuckled as if I was making a joke, but when I remained steadfast his expression changed to one of shock. "Edward, that isn't possible…."

"No, hear me out," I begged. "She said full integration can only happen when the subject learns to accept the other personalities into the whole. If Bella could be free to act however she wanted without ridicule or restraint, she would learn to love herself, all of her selves. Dr. Springer said it can't happen in a hospital but somewhere isolated like a cabin….like our cabin in Alaska," I added, to get him thinking before I asked outright to use it.

My father leaned back in his chair as if thinking deeply about what I said. I was waiting, holding my breath for him to say something. I didn't want him to think I expected him to take Bella to Alaska so I added, "I would be willing to take a leave from my practice."

He finally spoke and said, "If you convince me, how do you plan to convince Jasper? He's the admitting doctor."

I smiled just a little and said, "Well, that is where my dad comes in to play."

He finally cracked a smile himself and I got the feeling I was halfway there. If he would go to bat for me I know Jasper would eventually agree. Just like Alice said, Jasper thinks my father is brilliant.

"Son, you are not objective where Bella is concerned," he pointed out.

"I know, and as you see she responds to me. Little Bella trusts me and Baby Doll told me who the core is. I wouldn't do anything to hurt her further because I love her. I accept her as she is and love her anyway. It has to be me who takes her away."

"And what about Jake?" he asked.

I wanted to tell him to fuck Jake. He didn't have a clue who Bella was and she only liked him because he was ignorant to what was going on….just like Marcus was. I shrugged and said, "Jake is an expendable relationship."

Now my father really laughed. He shook his head and said, "What if she learns to love herself and the rest of the fractures learn to love Jake as Bella Swan does?"

"Then she'll live happily ever after with Jake," I said angrily. My father didn't understand that loving Bella meant doing whatever was in her best interest. If she still wanted Jake I would tell her goodbye and let him have her.

My father seemed relieved by my answer and showed for the first time he would consider my proposal. Maybe I wasn't such an idiot after all, and my willingness to put Bella first proved it to him. I knew Jasper would be a lot harder to convince. But I had a secret weapon, Alice.

I stood to leave and my father asked me to sit back down. "I don't think Alaska will work, the weather is too difficult during the winter. What about your grandfather's place in Brazil?"

I had been there a few times as a child, but since my grandfather passed away my uncle used it as a timeshare, renting it out to make money for the estate. I was surprised my father even considered it.

"Do you think it would be an option? I would need it for about a year at least."

"Let me call my brother," Dad said. "He's a greedy son-of-a- bitch, but maybe I can appeal to his philanthropic side."

"Do you think Bella can travel that far?" I asked, having concern for her rage side.

He shook his head and said, "Not without medication."

I nodded in agreement and then stood again to leave. He waited until I reached the door and then called out to me. I turned to face him and he said, "Just so you know, she misses you, and we aren't getting anywhere without your help."

I tried to hide my smile, but he saw it anyway.

I left there filled with hope. I hadn't ruined her recovery, I was helping. And I went to find Jasper, to insist he put me back on the team. The issue of Jake was a constant gnawing in the back of my mind, but I would think about that later. Right now I wanted nothing more than to see Bella, no matter what personality was present.


	18. Chapter 18

18

It was dark when I got to the hospital. I guess deep down I knew Baby Doll would be awake, but I would have come if it had been morning too. I walked to the observation room and saw her sitting on the floor in the corner, looking so sad and so lost.

I went right into her room and walked over to where she was sitting. Her faced turned to look at me and then quickly went back to staring at the floor. I knelt in front of her and she said softly, "You lied."

"About what?" I asked.

"You lied to Kido and told her you would never leave," she said without any emotion in her voice. I knew she meant little Bella and tucked it away in my mind for later. The splintered selves had their own names and we would need to learn them.

I sat crossed legged on the floor in front of her. She still wouldn't look at me so I said, "Can you please tell Kido I was working on something to help you all, I didn't leave her."

"I don't like it here, there is nothing to do," she complained, and banged her head against the wall in protest.

I leaned my head over to make her look at me and then I grinned at her. She turned her head to look at me but didn't smile. "Let's go have some fun," I offered.

Slowly her mouth pulled into a smile and she nodded enthusiastically. I stood and held out my hand so she quickly took it and let me pull her to a standing position. We left the room and instead of going to the playroom I took her off the psychiatric floor and into the main elevator.

We stopped at the top floor and then jogged together to the large windows overlooking the city. She gasped loudly and stared in wonder. "What is that?" she asked.

"It is the whole city," I said, and then pointed to the darkness beyond, "And that is the ocean, see where it is dark?"

She nodded and let go of my hand to reach out and touch the window. She pulled her thin hand back and saw the mark her finger left on the window. She touched it again and made another mark. I took hold of her finger and wrote on the condensation, Bella Marie Swan Harris.

She stared at it and then reached out and crossed out Bella to write, Isabella.

I looked at her face, to see if it was Baby Doll still with me. She smiled and said, "Her real name is Isabella."

"Thank you," I told her earnestly. I loved she trusted me enough to give me more and more information. I turned my back to the window and looked at her as I asked, "Have you ever seen an island? It is land that is surrounded by water."

She shook her head back and forth and I continued on, "I know of a house on an island. Nobody lives there and we could go visit. We could play and have fun, just you and me."

Her eyes got large and she pulled her fists to her mouth as she squealed loudly. "The others will stay here and you'll only take me?"

"The others?" I asked, not sure if she meant my father and Jasper or the others in her mind.

She leaned over and barely pointed at the name which was melting down the window. I tried to decide the best way to handle her question and finally settled with, "Every night I'll play with just you."

"Okay," she said, and began jumping up in down with anticipation. Her reaction calmed down and she pressed herself against me before saying, "You can touch me if you want."

I stood there with her hot body bringing me alive and her warm breath on my neck. It was the perfect time to bring up the issue. I spoke softly, since she was standing so closely. "You have no idea how much I want to, but I won't. I like you, for who you are, not because you'll show me your body or let me touch it."

She took a step away from me and her bottom lip was sticking out again. "You think I'm ugly," she said sadly.

I laughed and her eyes narrowed even more. "No, honey, you are not ugly. You are beautiful."

"Like the doll?" she asked, happy again.

"Yes, just like the doll. Hey, do you want some ice-cream?" I asked, knowing the cafeteria would still be open.

She nodded eagerly and I took her hand and led her back to the elevator. As soon as we stepped inside she pressed against me again and began to kiss my neck. It was torture and I tried to move her away but she tightened her arms around me.

The bell rang over the door and I quickly pushed her off of me. She looked a bit stunned and I told her we had to be careful in the hospital. She acted as if my words made no sense. When the door opened I stepped out and held my arm out to lead her in the right direction.

I walked to the ice-cream machine and asked her if she wanted a bowl or a cone. She looked at me blankly. So I got a bowl and added sprinkles on top. We sat at a table and I took a spoonful and held it up to feed her. Her eyes were jumpy and she couldn't focus on the spoon.

I lowered it and asked, "Are you okay?"

She whispered loudly but not to me. "It's mine, you can't have it."

I stared at her face as she conducted her internal struggle. She began to hunker down and fold in on herself. I took her hand and said clearly, "Marie, you can all have some. There is enough for everyone."

She mumbled to herself and circled her arms around her waist. I kept talking and said, "Marie, I know it is hard for you to keep control and I'll help you. Here Marie," I said and held the spoon to her mouth, "have a bite."

Her face rose and she opened her mouth to let the ice-cream in. Suddenly she sat up and grabbed the spoon from my hand. "It is night time, prick. It is my time."

I nodded a bit shaken by getting through to Marie but only shortly. I pushed the bowl closer to her and said, "Here you go, Baby Doll."

She ate the ice-cream greedily and smiled and laughed the entire time. I couldn't help but laugh with her. She was fun and energetic; you couldn't help but respond to her.

She finally finished the bowl and then leaned closer to me and asked, "Do you want to know a secret?"

"Sure," I responded.

She giggled and said, "Leggy doesn't kiss her boyfriend, I do."

I thought she meant Bella Swan so I clarified by asking, "Jacob Black?"

She nodded and I felt a twinge of jealousy. My Baby Doll was kissing Jake, and then telling me about it as if it was nothing. I grew quiet and she moved her foot under the table and placed it between my legs. I scooted back and said, "Stop it."

She laughed but I looked away, feeling like she cheated on me. I finally said, "Does Leggy know you kiss him?"

"Shhh," she said loudly, and then held her head tightly in her hands.

I felt something was happening inside of her mind, a struggle of some kind.

"Is Leggy mad at you, is she telling you to leave Jake alone?" I pushed, trying to cause a confrontation.

Baby Doll brought her legs up to set them on the edge of her chair as she wrapped her arms around her knees. She held on tightly as she clenched her eyes shut. "No," she exclaimed, "it's night time, my time."

"Marie," I called out with authority. "Come talk to me. Let me tell you my plan."

Baby Doll shook her head back and forth but I continued to call Marie forward. She suddenly let her head drop onto her knees and peek up with just her eyes. I could tell it wasn't Baby Doll anymore but I wasn't sure if it was Marie or not.

"Marie?" I asked and her eyes landed on mine and she stared without blinking. "I'm going to help you handle all of this. You can trust me and let go a bit."

"I'm… so… tired," she said very slowly, and without any hint of an accent.

"Will you come with me somewhere? A place where you don't have to work so hard to keep everyone contained. You can relax and everyone will be safe."

My heart was pounding with excitement. I was having a conversation with the core personality and explaining my plan. She continued to look at me and said, "You are causing…problems…with us."

I leaned a bit closer and said, "You and I both know you are the one in charge. I don't want to get rid of anyone; I just want them to be safe so you can relax."

She continued to stare for a moment and then said, "Did I kill him?"

I had no idea what she was talking about or who 'he' was. I knew it wasn't the time or the place to discuss this with her, so I honestly said, "I don't know, but I'll try to find out for you."

She looked exhausted and said, "Okay, Baby wants to play now." And just as quickly she shot forward and kissed my face before sitting back and laughing. I had always enjoyed Baby Doll, but after talking to the core part of Bella this version seemed like only an echo of the woman. I missed the deeper part of her.

I stood and said, "We have to go, they are closing now."

She jumped up and grabbed my arm, holding it tightly as she skipped at my side. I took her back to her room and placed her doll in her arms before kissing her forehead and leaving for the rest of the night.

I had one last person to see, Jasper. I needed a full night sleep before facing him. I was depending on my father for a major part of this plan. I hoped he would come through and give me the opportunity to prove Dr. Springer's hypothesis.

I actually wore a tie to the office the next morning, trying desperately to appear completely professional and put together. I also knew Jasper wouldn't fall for it, but I tried anyway. I asked Debbie if he was in and then knocked softly on his door.

I walked in and Jasper looked at me with nothing but contempt. I walked over and sat down to begin the difficult conversation. "We need to talk openly. I was with Bella last night and…."

"I'll have your license if you show up there again," he said angrily.

I let my head drop and I growled in frustration, hoping to get further into the conversation. I finally said, "I spoke with Dr. Springer from Cambridge. She's given me a new angle on all of this."

I had his attention now. He couldn't discount someone so well respected in our profession. I spoke quickly before he could interrupt me. "She feels medication only suppresses some of the fractures instead of fully integrating them. She thinks a better technique would be to isolate them somewhere they can be totally free and let them come together themselves."

"Bella is isolated," he tried to point out.

"No, she is being held captive. She needs to be somewhere she can act like anyone else but without judgment, fear, or ridicule. My family has a home on an island and…."

"You want to take her to some deserted Island to have some orgy with…."

I quickly interrupted him and said with venom, "Watch it, you're going to ruin our partnership forever if you continue."

He raised his hands and said, "I don't get it Edward. Explain this to me. You're in love with her, really?"

I tried to think of any way to explain it that made any sense, but in reality I couldn't. I was drawn to her just like she was to me as a child. I felt it was my destiny to help this girl. I messed up the first time, but fate was giving me another chance and I wasn't going to blow it this time.

All I could do is nod and say, "Yeah, really."


	19. Chapter 19

19

I talked like crazy to Jasper. I got my father on the phone and even told him to talk to Alice about how trustworthy I could be. The thing that finally pushed him over the edge was his conversation with Dr. Springer. She spoke to him about MRI's of the brain and how the medication was required to keep certain personalities repressed.

Jasper finally agreed it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. I promised he would remain updated on all the progress and a partner in the process. I couldn't do this without support, and I made him promise he would continue to provide it.

My father made arrangements with my uncle to cancel any upcoming reservations at the beach house and all I had to do is figure out how to get Bella there. It would take a very delicate balance of medication and I was a bit worried about it.

Emmett and Rosalie came to see me one last time. I told them I would be taking a leave of absence for a year to help a patient. I explained I would be going to Brazil and Rosalie asked if I wanted to use her father's plane and pilot. It was the final piece of the puzzle and Bella wouldn't have to be medicated.

I sublet my apartment and packed up my bags as my mother and Alice put together bags for Bella. I was hopeful when we headed to the airport only a week later. Marie rode with me in the car, leaning over and moaning the entire way.

But once we boarded the private jet it was little Bella who emerged. She held my hand tightly and asked about everything. I explained in terms she would understand and I was relieved when she eventually fell asleep.

We landed in Rio and I was a bit worried about this leg of the trip. I would be with Bella in a speed boat for close to an hour. My dad had arranged to have food delivered weekly so I didn't mess with extras. I put our luggage in the boat and turned to find Leggy looking back at me.

"I am not getting in that boat," she said firmly.

I was exhausted from the trip and not willing to deal with her drama right now. "You can step in or I will toss you in, you decide."

"Where's Jake?" she demanded.

I looked at the man waiting to transport us and we both shook our heads lightly. I pinched the bridge of my nose and then groaned. "Bella, get in the damn boat," I begged.

"Don't speak to me like…."

I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the boat with me. She fell to the ground and I motioned for the guy to take off. I didn't mean to hurt her, I only wanted to get on our way so there wouldn't be a scene. She pulled into a ball and reverted into Marie. I helped her up and put her in a seat with a belt to hold her in. I kissed her head and apologized, but I felt such a relief to be soaring through the water.

We pulled up to the dock and I paid the man after he set out our bags. I had to lead Bella to the house since she was hunched over and mumbling. I put her in a chair and then ran out to get our bags. The place was updated since I had been there last so I took a moment to look around.

I put Bella's bags in her room and didn't worry about the glass doors or open windows. She could run off all she wanted here. When I was done putting things away I went into the sitting room and knelt in front of her.

"Isabella, I want you to know you are safe here and totally free. You can do whatever you want without any judgment or punishment. But I will only refer to you as Isabella. My sister Alice bought you some clothes so you can wear whatever you like, or go totally naked, it doesn't matter."

She looked up at me with the eyes of little Bella and smiled. I smiled back, grateful to see her. "Do you want to swim?" I asked her.

She nodded so I showed her where her room was and where to find her things. I went into my own room and put on swimming trunks. I walked out to the beach and waited for Isabella to join me. She came out with a big shirt over her suit and looked very uncomfortable.

When she reached me on the sand I asked, "Don't you like your swimming suit?"

Her eyes got large and she quickly flashed me the suit to show me the problem. It was a bikini, a tiny bikini, a sexy, hot, tiny bikini. I internally thanked my sister and then shook my head at Isabella. "It looks good on you and there isn't anyone around to see it."

She looked around to make sure and then pulled the shirt from her body. The suit was mere inches of material and I tried not to stare at the woman and focus on the child in front of me. I walked into the calm bay and splashed water up on her. She laughed and walked out to join me. "It's not cold," she said as if surprised.

"No, it is perfect," I said, and not meaning just the temperature of the water. "Do you know how to swim?" I asked her.

She nodded and put her arms out in Superman fashion and then kicked her feet to swim over to me. I caught her with my arms and she raised her head with a huge smile on her face. "You're a great swimmer," I said and offered her a hug.

"Here, get on my back and I'll swim with you," I said, and she quickly moved around my shoulders. She held onto my neck as I swam around the bay. It was relaxing and refreshing, but when I stopped swimming and held her bridal style in my arms I felt her tense.

"I won't hurt you," I said as I looked right into her eyes.

"I know," she replied in her childlike voice. "I was just remembering something."

I couldn't believe this was all working out so well so quickly. I kept my face from showing the excitement I felt and asked, "What did you remember?"

"You put me in the bath," she said with a slight pout.

I smiled at the memory and tried to see it through her eyes. I finally said, "You hated to wash your face, and I couldn't see it clearly through the dirt. You have such a beautiful face."

I thought it would make her smile but she only stared at me. I felt her hands tighten around my neck and she said, "He would push my face into the garbage. He said I was ugly."

I tried desperately to keep my own body from tensing. This was huge and I needed to respond correctly. I nodded to let her know I heard her and said, "There are bad people in the world who want to ruin others, especially if they are happy. He lied, but when others found out he was a liar he had to…hurt them. He's dead now, Isabella, and I won't let anyone hurt you again."

"Did I kill him?" she asked me.

My heart was breaking and I said, "No love, you are a good person. He died in prison."

She opened her mouth and I waited for her to speak, but she turned her head and looked around at the beach before asking, "Can you make a sandcastle?"

I let her out of my arms and we walked out of the water and onto the beach. We sat down and she crossed her legs, exposing herself due to the small amount of material. I felt like a pervert since her body was that of a woman, but her actions were that of a child. I grabbed my towel and tossed it over her legs to give my poor mind a rest.

I made a really shitty sandcastle, but she didn't care. She laughed and clapped her hands as if I built a replica of the Sistine chapel.

I spent the entire day with little Bella, and Marie didn't surface once. But it was night I dreaded and looked forward to the most. It was a romantic setting, and if Baby Doll was truly going to be free I would have to react to her normally.

After dinner I cleaned up and went into my room to shower. I had to make sure I wouldn't be panting over the vixen certain to appear so I made sure to masturbate to relieve any immediate response to her. I soaped my hand and took hold of my erection, imagining a fully integrated Bella, a woman choosing to be with me and wanting me completely.

I didn't last long and as I held the shower wall and gasped for air I looked up to see Baby Doll staring back at me. She was completely nude and stepped into the shower to join me. I let my head fall onto my extended arm and kept my eyes on her. She placed one leg on the shower ledge and used her own hand to give her the release she was wanting.

It was the most amazing thing I had ever witnessed. Her head fell back with soft moans and when she came she cried out without any hesitation. I finally slid down the shower wall in total exhaustion. She reached for the shampoo and poured a little in her hand before reaching out to wash my hair.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the seductive massage on my scalp. When she finished I did the same with her long hair, taking my time and rubbing her head lovingly. I lastly turned off the shower and got out to grab a towel and then hand one to her.

She giggled as she dried off her body and said, "Can we play now?"

"Sure, put a swimsuit on and I'll take you riding on the jet ski," I offered.

She squealed and ran from the room without the towel. I knew this version was going to be trouble but hopefully we were both relaxed now and sex wouldn't be an issue. I put on a fresh pair of swim trunks and met Isabella in the sitting room. She had on a different bikini and quickly twirled in a circle to let me look at it.

"You look amazing," I told her honestly.

"I wish I had my wig, I don't like the color of my hair," she said sadly.

I gave her a jerk of my head and she followed me out the door. I didn't comment on her hair, because I loved the color, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I pulled the ski into the water and climbed on, showing her how to get up behind me.

She wrapped her arms around my waist and scooted tightly against my body. I drove off into the darkness at a fast pace and she screamed with excitement. I eventually stopped and pointed up at the moon. "Isn't that beautiful," I said.

She looked up and then rested her head against my shoulder. "I wish I could see the sun," she said softly.

"Close your eyes," I told her, and she quickly obeyed. "Now, imagine a bright light, brighter than any lamp. Feel the heat touching your face. That is what the sun is like."

She smiled with her eyes still closed and her face reaching up for the warmth. I wanted her to see the sun too, but I knew it would be a long time so I didn't promise anything. We sat there quietly as we rocked gently on the waves.

When she finally opened her eyes I began moving again. We had a blast by ourselves on our own private ocean. When I felt her begin to shiver I headed back to the dock. I grew more nervous the closer I got. I was tired, but Baby Doll had just woken up. I needed to trust she would be okay as I slept, and she needed to feel important and not on her own. I finally came up with a solution.

I pointed at the hammock and said, "I'm going to take a nap. I'll be right there if you need me."

She looked over at the hammock and then said, "Do you want me to lay with you until you fall asleep?"

I smiled widely and said honestly, "I would love it."


	20. Chapter 20

20

We spent several weeks this way. I would spend the days with little Bella talking about memories, and the nights with Baby Doll in my arms on the hammock. I was also spending a lot more time in the shower jacking off, but it was the only way to keep my hands from wandering.

I was growing concerned that I wasn't seeing Marie at all. If she was the core personality, why was she so absent? I waited for Isabella to be preoccupied and slipped into the house to call Dr. Springer. I had my notebooks spread out in front of me all color coded and dated.

"Hello," she answered.

"Dr. Springer, this is Dr. Edward Cullen."

"I've been anxious to hear from you, how is it going? She asked.

"Very well. But I have a few questions I hope you can help me with," I said, feeling better just by having someone to bounce ideas off of.

"Sure," she replied.

"It has been several weeks and I haven't seen the core at all. I'm seeing only two personalities, one during the day and one during the night."

"Yes, that sounds about right," she said, and it gave me comfort before she even began to explain. "The dominate is most likely resting, finally able to let go and allow things to unravel. She'll appear when she is ready to take over, and then the real fights will begin."

"The two appearing now, are they the strongest of the others?" I asked.

"Not necessarily, they are just the most confident to come forward right now. They may also be the oldest and less shaken up by change."

"I've been letting her set the pace of conversation, should I push her a bit more or not?" I asked.

"It is up to you, if you have the time to wait you can let her lead, but if you want it to go faster you can push."

It wasn't the answer I wanted, since I had the time but I was anxious to have the real Isabella come forward. I thanked Dr. Springer for her time and then hung up. I walked to the back of the house and looked out the window at Bella. She was talking animatedly to herself and I strained to hear her.

"He likes to play with me, he said so." I heard her insist. Her voice changed into Baby Dolls accent and then said, "You're just a little kid, he's a man and needs a woman."

I was hopeful that the fighting had begun and Marie would surface soon. I waited until she stopped speaking and only swung back and forth on the tree swing before walking into the back yard. She smiled when she saw my face and I said, "Hello Isabella."

"Hi," she grinned.

I walked up to push her and she laughed as she swung higher. "I heard you talking to Baby Doll," I offered, using a different name for the first time. Her expression changed into one of sadness. "I like you both very much. In fact, I like all of you very much."

Her feet dropped to stop the swing and she rolled to the side to look at me. Her head cocked and her facial features changed. I knew someone else was in front of me but I wasn't sure who. I smiled and tried to hold it as she continued to look at me.

"You want something," an unfamiliar voice, which was much deeper, said clearly.

I shook my head back and forth and said, "I only want to be your friend. I'm here to help."

The stranger sneered at me and said with an ever deeper tone, "I could stab you in your sleep. I could gut you like a fish and nobody would know."

It was the only time I had ever been afraid of Bella. I got the feeling this personality was her rage or possibly a male coming forth as protection. I kept my cool and tried not to react in any manner as I said, "Then you would lose your only friend."

She turned back around and pulled her feet us as she begged me to push her again. I was shaking as my arms rose and gave her a gentle push. I decided to look into what exactly happened to Phil in prison and make sure Bella had nothing to do with his death. I also worried about all the nights Baby Doll spent roaming the streets and hoped she didn't hurt anyone.

I pushed her for a few more minutes and then wandered off slowly by myself to think. I was walking in the surf, staring at my feet when she suddenly appeared next to me. I looked over to see her determined, stiff backed expression. I knew it was Leggy.

"How are you?" I asked her.

"Where's Jake," she asked instantly.

"He's back in Seattle," I said without explaining.

She nodded as if it was all the assurance she needed and continued to walk beside me. I needed to engage her in some sort of conversation so I said, "Do you like to read?"

She laughed and pointed out the obvious. "I work in a bookstore, so yeah, I like to read."

"What is your favorite book?"

We continued on in silence as she thought and then she said, "I would have to say, The story of Lucy Gault."

My eyebrows widened and I stopped walking, "Really?" I asked in surprise.

She nodded uncomfortably and I began walking again. I thought over the story line and then asked, "So is Jake your Ralph?"

"It isn't autobiographical for me," she laughed. "I just like her desire to make things right, to forgo her happiness for forgiveness."

"But Lucy could have easily had both. It was her own disappointment in herself that made her push Ralph away."

She nodded and walked silently for a bit. She looked up at the sun falling lower into the sky and said, "Maybe happiness is not meant for some people."

I turned to face her hand held out my hand for hers. She looked at my offered hand and then back at my face before reaching slowly, placing her hand gently in my palm. I held it softly, letting her know she could pull it back at anytime.

"You are wrong, Isabella. Happiness is for everyone, but sometimes we get lost and have to find our way back to it. You will be happy again, and you don't have to lose anything in the process."

"There is a dark attic in every house," she said, and it confused me so she explained, "Metaphorically. A place you like to shut the hatch and forget what is stored up there. I don't want to go up there."

I leaned in just a bit and said, "Isabella, you are already stuck in the attic. Open the door to come out, not in."

I was right in her face, trying to make a point, not to do anything inappropriate. She suddenly smiled and leaned in to kiss me passionately. I recognized the kiss as Baby Doll so I pulled away anxiously. Her smile faded and she looked hurt and rejected, but it wasn't why I ended our kiss.

I spun her around and pointed at the setting sun. "Look, it's the sun; you get to see the sun."

She gasped loudly and held onto my arms that were wrapped around her. "Oh my God," she whispered. "It's better than I ever imagined."

I was euphoric to think she came out before the sun had set. It was a great sign that they were allowing each other to come forth at will. I kissed her shoulder as she watched the sun until there was nothing left to see. She turned in my arms and said with her strong accent. "Did you make it just for me?"

I would have loved to tell her yes, that the sun rose and set just for her and I was the creator of it. I shook my head back and forth and said, "No, it will happen again tomorrow. I would love to watch it with you again then."

Her arms locked around my neck and she leaned in kissing me in a manner I wasn't prepared for. We lowered on to the sand and I rolled onto my back as she spread her legs to my sides. I got excited and she noticed, rubbing against me with the most amazing sensation. Our kisses became frantic and consuming, never getting enough and needing so much more.

She finally moved from my mouth and began to kiss her way down my chest. I let my arms fall, enjoying the feeling and the anticipation of her mouth on my dick. Her hand touched me first, grasping me firmly and moaning against my belly button. "Oh God," I sighed and let my head fall to the side.

"Edward," a voice called to me. It wasn't Baby Doll and I opened my eyes to see her looking up at me. I ran my hand through her hair, cupping her chin in my hand.

"Yes?" I managed to say with just a whisper.

"I don't want her to touch you," she said, and I wondered if it was Jake's Bella holding my cock in her hand.

"Why?" I responded.

"Because she'll touch anyone, and you're special."

It took me a minute to process her words and I looked closer and said, "Isabella?"

She nodded and I sat up and moved away from her grasp. In just that instant she was gone and Baby Doll moved onto my lap trying to rekindle the fire we were lighting. It took me a moment or two to worm my way out of her hold.

My head was reeling and I was trying to think everything through as Baby Doll held onto me. "Don't you want to play?" she asked with a red mouth from my kisses.

"I'm feeling a little sick," I lied, and placed my hand on my stomach, feeling the shaking within. "I'm going to lie in the hammock and watch you play."

I didn't mean it the way she assumed and as soon as I was in the hammock she began to strip for me. Her nipples were erect in the warm air and her swimsuit bottom was wet as she tossed it to me. I watched her dance around as an erotic, sexy woman, wondering if she would every feel comfortable doing this on her own without Baby Doll coming forward to do it for her.

She used her own hand to pleasure herself and I was left with a raging erection. I watched her run off into the surf and felt like I had turned into different people too. I was the boy who played with little Bella all day, the letch who jerked off at night, and the quiet man waiting for something to change.

I considered the possibility we would be here for years, living as different dolls in the playhouse. I began to worry about the isolation on both of our minds and knew I needed to have someone visit. I needed sane company or I was going to lose my own mind.

I decided to invite Jasper and Alice to come for a week. I would see if the two main personalities would stay front and center or if Marie would return to keep everyone quiet and together. Alice was thrilled with the invitation, but she threw me a curve and asked if Rose and Emmett could come.

I liked them both, but I wasn't sure if the situation would be too difficult for them. Plus Emmett was a big guy and I was positive he would frighten little Bella. I was also a bit worried about the possibility of Bella wanting Jake to come for a visit. How could I deny her if I had visitors of my own? Would I let him come?

We had made so much progress but at the same time I was tied in knots. It finally came down to one ultimate comfort…I needed Jasper to assure me I wasn't going crazy. I told them to come and I would hope for the best.


	21. Chapter 21

I didn't prepare Bella for the visit. I wanted her to react naturally, and if she ran off, she had the right to do it. I was anxious for them to come and kept watching the water for any sign of a boat. I was burying Bella in the sand when I saw a glint in the distance coming closer.

I pulled her from the sand and pointed out at the sea. "There is a boat coming, we might have visitors," I said, and watched her reaction.

"Why?" she asked as she covered her eyes to block the sun.

"It will be nice to have other people to talk to, don't you think?" I asked. She nodded as if I asked about wanting a cookie. I don't think she realized what having visitors would really mean, but she didn't seem afraid at the notion.

I walked to the dock and made sure to walk slowly so Bella could come with me. She stayed behind me but she never folded in on herself or let anyone else take over. Alice began screaming and waving frantically, making me laugh.

"That is my sister, Alice. She gets very excited," I said with a grin. Bella nodded, but didn't say anything.

The boat pulled up to the dock and I helped Alice and Rose out. Alice gave me a big hug and Bella didn't respond, but when Rose hugged me I heard her give a disgusted tisk. I quickly introduced Rosalie and her husband so Bella would understand they were together.

"This is amazing," Emmett said, anxious to get into swim trunks and in the water.

Alice showed them where to go and it would mean I would move into Bella's room. I never really slept in mine anyway; I spent the nights in the hammock. I began making them a sandwich after their long trip and Bella came over to watch me.

I smiled and said, "Would you like to help me?"

She gave me a wary look and then took the butter knife I was offering. I put a slice of bread in front of her. She put the knife in the jar of mayonnaise and then froze. I watched her to see if it was Marie shutting her down, but she raised her eyes and said, "I broke the jar once and he made me walk through it. My feet were bleeding."

I had a load of emotions run through me. I wanted to tell her what a horrible fuck Phil was, I wanted to assure her it would never happen again, and I wanted to praise her for sharing a memory she had kept locked away for so long.

I reached out and took the jar. "There are plastic bottles now and I'll make sure the house is stocked with those. I'm sorry you were hurt. You didn't deserve it."

She remained as little Bella, not shying away from the conversation or shutting down from the memory. I ran my hand down her cheek and then tapped her nose in jest. She smiled widely and we went back to making sandwiches.

Rose came into the room first in her bikini. Bella's eyes grew wide and she looked at Rose's massive chest and then down at her own. Alice walked in next, and I happened to know her impressive chest was a graduation gift from my parents.

I whispered to Bella, "Theirs are fake, yours are real." Although, I didn't know for sure on Rose.

The women took a sandwich and then Alice said to Bella. "Come with us to the beach. We are dying to get some sun."

Bella nodded and when Alice took her hand I called out, "Girls, her name is Isabella."

"We're not girls," Rose said with a roll of her eyes. I watched as Bella changed with the comment. She stood straight and walked with authority. Leggy walked out the door to spend the afternoon with Alice and Rose.

I sat in a chair and Jasper got us all a beer. I looked at Emmett and said, "How's it going with you and Rose?"

"No sir," Jasper interjected. "They are my patients now. And so is Marcus, thanks a lot for that bastard."

"What about Jane?" I asked, concerned for her just because she was Tanya's kid and that was enough to drive any kid crazy.

Jasper's eyes looked sad and he said, "She ran away and Tanya had her put into a finishing school. She hates it of course."

My first response was to call Tanya and tell her to cut it out, but I was a bit worried it was what she had intended for me to do by sticking Jane there in the first place. I looked at Jasper and said, "She's a good kid."

"Yeah, I'm doing what I can," he said with a nod of his head. "Your father has been sharing your emails. It seems to be going well here."

"I guess," I said with a sigh. "I'm seeing real progress, but the end seems so far away."

"There may never be an end," Jasper pointed out, and I nodded in agreement.

I took a drink of my beer and looked at the two men who I couldn't thank enough for coming. "Hey, let's go snorkeling," I offered, and they both jumped up enthusiastically.

I let myself forget about Bella for the rest of the afternoon. I hung out with the guys doing things we wanted to do and not worrying about a thing. Alice and Rose seemed to be handling Bella just fine, and I thought it was important for her to get some female companionship.

We were going to grill for dinner and Alice pulled me aside to speak privately. "Edward, can you explain something to me. If Bella was abused by a man, why does she trust you so much?"

"She loved her father very much and trusted him. She sees me as a father figure," I explained.

"Okay, then why does she love this Jake so much?" she inquired.

I felt my throat tighten. Bella had been talking to them about Jake and I hated the idea of it. Leggy was the one persona I couldn't get through to and it hurt my pride a bit. "Another personality admitted to kissing Jake, the Bella he dates is not physical with him."

She nodded and turned to walk away but I grabbed onto her arm, realizing something for the first time. "Hey," I exclaimed, "We've been here for at least three menstrual cycles, but she's never had one."

Alice's mouth fell open and she said, "Could she be pregnant?"

"No, I seriously doubt it," I said, not feeling nearly as confident as I tried to sound. "Can you ask her about it?"

"Ask her if she's knocked up?" Alice gasped.

"No," I laughed, "Ask her if she has her periods."

"Oh, yeah," she giggled. "I can ask her that."

"And by the way, do you think it would be possible to get her tinier bikinis? Jesus, are you trying to kill me?"

Alice laughed loudly and then headed into the kitchen to help the women get some food ready. I went onto the deck and drank a beer while Emmett used the grill. Jasper came over to sit on the railing next to me and said, "Bella's drinking a beer, do you think it is advisable?"

"She's twenty-one," I pointed out. "And the legal age in Brazil is eighteen."

"It wasn't what I meant?" Jasper said dryly.

I didn't realize how close to the end of my own rope I was until I looked at him and said, "Do you think another person will come out, like it would make any difference. What will one more matter? We're having a fucking party, so let them all come out."

It grew quiet and I drank my beer completely before saying, "Sorry, I'm a bit stressed."

The girls came walking out and I headed back into the house and got another drink. I leaned against the sink and tried to steady myself. I was enjoying the company, but it only served to heighten the feeling of isolation I felt earlier. I eventually went back to the deck and took my seat next to Bella to eat.

She was still the professional personality, even when the sun set and only darkness remained. I wondered why Baby Doll didn't arrive, but I was also grateful I wouldn't have to worry about keeping her clothed.

Alice jumped up and ran into the house without explanation. We all broke into laughter until she returned with a board game, and then we all groaned. She set it on the table and said, "Okay, we'll be teams. Edward and Isabella will go first since they are the hosts."

It felt awkward to think of me and this version of Bella as their hosts. I hardly knew this woman and she was in love with another man. I picked up the dice and reluctantly dropped them onto the playing board.

The game was actually fun and I enjoyed being Bella's partner. Alice and Jasper won, of course, but when Emmett would get over excited and yell loudly Bella never acted intimidated or insecure. I could see how this version of Bella could get alone quite well in the world.

When it grew late and we were all a bit tipsy Rose suggested we go to bed. I stood, thinking we would go to the hammock but Bella headed to our room. I followed her and then leaned against the doorway as she dug through her clothes for something to wear. Baby Doll hadn't arrived and I wondered if she was actually going to sleep tonight.

I walked over to the bed and said, "Do you want me to sleep on the hammock?"

"Don't be absurd," she said with a chuckle. "The chair or the floor is fine."

I rubbed my face with frustration, since I had been sharing the hammock with her for weeks. "I won't touch you, but I'm sleeping in the bed."

"Fine," she said angrily. "I'll sleep on the floor. You are such a gentleman."

I was buzzed and I didn't care if she was ticked off. I pulled off my trunks and got into the bed. She looked at me with shock and said, "I am in a relationship. You can't sleep naked in my bed."

"I'm sleeping naked in MY bed," I pointed out. "The floor is your bed, and I'm not naked there." I turned away from her and pulled the pillow tightly to my neck as I close my eyes and tried to sleep.

She got on the floor but after only a few minutes she moved to the chair. She sighed loudly and dramatically for my attention and finally got into the bed. "Keep your hands to yourself," she warned.

I laughed loudly and then said, "Yeah, ditto." After all the times Baby Doll practically molested me it was funny to hear her warning. I kept my back to her but she tossed and turned uncomfortably. I finally rolled over and said, "What's wrong."

"I don't know, I can't sleep," she complained.

I rubbed my eyes and yawned before saying, "Do you usually have problems sleeping?"

"No, not at all," she said in confusion. I realized it was because Baby Doll made sure they remained asleep while she played. I wondered if she would appear if I kissed this Bella. I had no idea why she was gone all evening, either refusing to come out or unable to come out.

I leaned up on my elbows and said, "If you kiss me you'll fall right to sleep." Her eyes looked shocked by my suggestion and I realized it did sound rather odd. I didn't try to explain and said, "Trust me, it will work."

I leaned over her slowly, waiting to hear her giggle or her accent emerge. She shut her eyes softly and I touched my mouth to hers. She didn't latch on like Baby Doll usually did or pull me to her body. She kept her lips soft and I deepened the kiss. I pulled back to see her eyes flutter open, still in the persona of Leggy.

I moved in for another kiss and she let her hand rise slowly and wrap around my neck. It was an amazing kiss and she was warming up to me. My own body was reacting and I tried to scoot back so I wouldn't touch her. She was another man's woman, and I was kissing her, naked, and with an erection.

I finally pulled away and turned my back to her again. She moved hesitantly but wrapped her arms around my waist and snuggled up to the back of me. I fell asleep with the glorious feeling of being held by either Leggy or Marie, I wasn't sure which one.


	22. Chapter 22

22

I woke up the next day without knowing who to expect in bed with me. I looked at her sleeping face and she seemed totally at ease and natural. I got up and went into the bathroom to piss and shower. I returned with a towel wrapped around my waist in case little Bella was there.

She sat up and forced her eyes to open. "God, I'm exhausted," she said with a raspy voice.

"You can sleep in, we have nothing planned," I told her, and she nodded and turned onto her side and went back to sleep. I put on another swimsuit and headed into the kitchen to start breakfast. Alice was already up and making French toast. I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and poured myself some juice.

She pulled me over to the back door and spoke in just a whisper. "I asked Isabella about her period and she had no idea what I was talking about, like she's never had one at all."

"Maybe with the different personalities her hormones are messed up?" I said, mainly to myself.

"Well, you better have her see a doctor. If she starts her period how are you going to explain it to her?"

"With her trauma I can't send her to a gynecologist," I said adamantly.

Alice laughed and said, "They may seem barbaric to men, but women appreciate our feminine parts and are not afraid of our gynecologists."

"I appreciate your feminine parts," I said adamantly, and then quickly tried to restate what I said, "Not yours but women in general. I appreciate vaginas, just not yours."

She laughed at my attempt and then ran over to check on the food. I worried about what to do and knew if Bella had to see a doctor I wanted it to happen while Alice and Rose were still here. I went into the office and got on the phone to find an English speaking doctor. I chose a woman, hoping it would help Bella feel less anxious. I set an appointment for the following day in Rio. We would all go and spend the day on the mainland.

When we all finished eating Bella was still in bed. I took a plate of food into the room and crawled up onto the bed. She opened her eyes and I said, "Wake up sleepy head. I have some food for you."

She looked at me intently and her stare made me nervous. She didn't speak and I knew I was looking at Marie. "You're all safe," I said to reassure her.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, still holding the plate of food.

"We all slept," she said with a quiet voice.

I smiled at her and nodded in agreement. I had to admit I missed Baby Doll but I knew she would be a part of Isabella forever. It would be nice if she could accept her sexuality and use it willingly. I decided to bring up the doctor with Marie, since it was her body needing attention.

"I made you an appointment with a medical doctor, to see if you are healthy physically," I said, and watched for any negative expression.

"Will you go with me?" she asked.

I smiled and nodded. I loved that Marie was learning to trust me; it filled me with hope that when this was over we could have a relationship together. There was a knock on the door and her eyes looked pained as she said, "I have to go now."

I nodded with understanding; the core was still too vulnerable to be present with others. "I hope to see you again soon," I said and she smiled before her mouth pulled into a full grin and little Bella squealed at the sight of the food.

"Come in," I called, and Jasper walked into the room. Little Bella scooted closer to me and ate while Jasper and I talked.

We made plans to hike to the other side of the island. We took a sparse amount of food and a lot of water. Everyone soaked themselves in bug spray and we set out on the journey. I noticed professional Bella emerged when the girls were with her, but when it was just me and her little Bella would come out.

We were sweating profusely by the time we made it to the south shore. We all ran and dove into the water, but Bella walked in slowly and hesitantly. Nobody paid her any attention, but I watched her closely. It was Marie surfacing and enjoying the water, so I remained quiet and let her do so.

She eventually looked up and waved inconspicuously to me before little Bella splashed me. I swan over and let her get onto my back as we went further into the deep. When we got away from the others I asked, "Are you having fun?"

"Yes, and I'm having a hard time staying back," she admitted. I made it to a spot where I could stand and pulled her in front of me. Her legs dangled lifelessly without wrapping around me.

I looked at the core and said, "Isabella Marie Swan, you never have to stay back. It is safe for you and everyone here cares about you. I care about you, a lot," I confessed.

Her eyes looked racked with pain and she said, "But you don't know."

"Sure I do," I said, and tried to smile. "I know he tortured you and abused you, and it doesn't matter to me."

At that moment I lost her. I didn't regret what I said, because it was the core that needed to hear it. If she wasn't comfortable letting me see her reaction it was okay, because she was growing stronger and I was filled with joy. Leggy surfaced and pushed me away from her. She swam over to the girls and I smiled and shook my head. There was no way in hell I was letting Jake take her from me, she just didn't know it yet.

We headed back to the other side after eating our granola bars and apples. We used up most of the day and everyone was too exhausted to do anything else. We all lay on a blanket in the sand and watched the waves as the sun set in the sky. Emmett and Rosalie were whispering to each other and kissing softly.

Alice finally smacked them and said, "Get a room."

"I'm just making sure my wife is okay," Emmett said in his defense.

"She's on a freaking romantic island, why wouldn't she be okay?" Alice demanded.

Emmett and Rose stole a glance at each other and we all were suddenly very interested. They smiled and Rose blurted out, "I'm pregnant."

Alice screamed and hugged them both. I paid particular attention to Bella's reaction. She looked confused so I said, "Rose and Emmett are having a baby."

"Oh," she said in a child's voice. "Is Alice?"

"No, she and Jasper are not married yet," I said confusing the issue even more.

"So you have to be married to get a baby?" she asked me.

"No," I said, and wished I would have remained quiet. "Most people make sure they will be together for a long time before they have a baby. It is a big commitment."

"Where does the baby come from?" she asked innocently.

Oh God, this was more than I wanted at the moment. I could easily tell her to ask the doctor the next day, but I was afraid it would cause her more stress. I held out my hand for hers and led her away from the others to talk.

We walked with our ankles in the water and I said, "When a man and woman love each other they want to show it with their bodies. Touching each other brings pleasure, but it also can create a baby. The woman has an egg and the man has sperm. Together they form a baby."

My explanation was rudimentary at best, but I would let her bring up the questions and made sure not to say too much too quickly.

She looked down at our clasped hands and said, "Are we going to make a baby?"

"No," I chuckled. "We would have to touch here." I pointed to our pelvic areas and she stared down at my crotch making me a bit uncomfortable. When her eyes came back to mine it was a different gaze.

"Hey, handsome," she said with her southern drawl. She jumped into my arms, pushing me further into the water. It was Baby Doll, and I needed to see her so badly.

I tried to keep my reaction level but when she kissed me deeply I pulled her tighter to my body. She was writhing against me, making my knees weaken in the water. I kissed down her chin to her neck and when she arched back I kissed down her chest.

I wanted to take her right there in the ocean but I knew she would never allow it. She liked to play with men, not have sex with them. I wasn't sure where to draw the line, but I knew it was imperative for me to stop before her. It was the only way to build trust with the other splinters.

She was moving up and down against my cock and I was inhaling deeply as I barely hung on to my sanity. I finally used my own hand to go up and down with her. I quickened the motion and when I felt her hand join mine I lost it there in the water.

My entire body exploded into a series of convulsions, feeling so amazing and so unfulfilling at the same time. My head fell to her shoulder, keeping my face out of the water. She laughed and stuck her own hand down her suit. I placed my hand on the outside of the material and felt her build the tension and explode with her own pleasure. It was the closest we had come to sex and I kissed her lovingly.

"You are an amazing woman," I told her as I continued to kiss her.

Her kisses became tight and tentative, as if learning to kiss for the first time. I opened my eyes to see hers staring back at me. It was Marie, and she was letting me kiss her. I smiled and said, "Do you mind if I kiss you?"

"I'm not sure how," she admitted.

She no longer felt like the vixen that had been in my arms giving herself an orgasm. She felt like a woman terrified of her own body. I held her face gently in my hands, watching her eyes as I leaned in to kiss her. I kept my lips lose and moved her lips gently until they relaxed. I licked her mouth softly, asking for permission to enter and she reluctantly opened. I had to use my tongue to open her mouth wider and then let it dance with hers. She was catching on quickly and when I felt her arms tighten around me I moved one hand to the small of her back and pulled her closer.

I kept the intensity right there, never pushing her any further or escalating anything. When I finally pulled back to check her face she looked a bit pale. I walked back to the shore and led her back to the others. We went back to our blanket and she moved close to my side so I pulled her into my arms.

We both stared up at the moon, knowing things had changed forever, but having no idea where it would lead. The core had come out and let me be physical with her, but only after Baby got the release her body needed so badly. After the long hike and the orgasms we both feel asleep quickly.

All of us remained on the beach, letting the sound of the waves lull us deeper into sleep. I don't know if I let go of Bella or if she moved out of my arms, but when the sun rose early the next morning I opened my eyes to find the blanket bare.

I sat up and looked around for any signs of Bella. My heart began to pound and I ran to the house to look for her. I wasn't worried she was hurt, but I did worry about Leggy being upset about the contact we had. I didn't feel I was kissing another man's woman, but she would.


	23. Chapter 23

23

I heard the shower going when I entered the house. I went to our room and waited for Bella to come out. She dried her hair and dressed before coming out of the bathroom. I was sitting on the edge of the bed and she jumped when she saw me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"I can shower without hurting myself," Leggy said angrily. "I'm not a child."

I laughed at her assessment, because sometimes she actually was a child. I walked past her and said, "We're going to the mainland today."

The boat arrived early and none of us had a chance to eat. When we arrived in Rio we headed to a small cantina and ate bread and butter with coffee. The women were anxious to do some shopping so we followed along as they looked in various shops. When it was time for the appointment I got into a cab with Bella and made plans to meet up with the others for lunch.

Bella held my hand tightly as little Bella and I worried about the visit. I tried to explain things to her but I think I only managed to confuse her more. "The doctor will look inside your body," I said. "She'll ask you to open your mouth so she can look inside. She'll also need to look inside other places."

"My eyes?" she asked.

"Yes, and others," I said nervously.

"My ears?" she asked.

This time I just nodded and turned to look out the window. We walked into the office building and I asked to speak with the doctor when a nurse took Bella to a back room. I explained her condition and the doctor seemed eager to examine her. Bella was a medical anomaly and I hated how excited the doctor became to see for herself.

I waited in her office and she was gone for a long time. When she returned she looked glum. I was afraid to hear the news, terrified Bella would be pregnant or something. My hands were shaking and when I saw tears fall from the woman's cheeks I became terrified.

"What's wrong with her, doctor?" I asked as my voice trembled.

"The child was brutalized," she said angrily, and wiped the tears from her face. "I hope the bastard was prosecuted."

"He's dead," I said without further explanation.

"Good," she replied. "I can't imagine what she went through." The doctor finally looked right at me and said, "She will never have a child. She is too damaged."

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I thought it was a hormonal issue and never imagined she didn't menstruate due to abuse. I couldn't speak and when the doctor continued on I closed my eyes in pain.

"Children don't have the proper vaginal fluid for sex. I suspect it was more than just penetration of a penis. Her rectum is damaged too, but it has healed in a functioning way."

I nodded not sure if I could hear anything more. I wanted out of that room where I could punch something and scream in anger. I stood and then asked, "Is she capable of sex, physically?"

"Yes, most of her scarring is on the cervix and her ovaries are functioning, but the fallopian tubes are too damaged to let the eggs reach the uterus. But even if they did, the uterus is not functioning."

"Does she need any medical treatment?" I asked.

The woman nodded and said, "A hysterectomy eventually, just to stop tumors from growing or infection from settling in."

I wasn't able to explain menstruation to her, how would I explain a hysterectomy. I gave a slight nod and then headed down the hallway to where Bella waited for me. I walked into the room and walked over to hug her. "Are you okay?" I asked.

A young nurse in the room wiped a tear and quickly left. Bella smiled up at me, totally oblivious to how completely Phil damaged her. I was filled with rage and the need for revenge, but all I could do is take her hand and lead her from the place.

We got into a cab and I pulled her close to me. "I love you," I said into her hair, and she looked up at me with a big grin.

"Can we have ice-cream?" she asked.

I nodded and looked away so she wouldn't see the tears form in my eyes. I took her to a small shop and got her a large cone. We walked along the street as she ate and I contemplated my next move. When we met up with the others I quickly left her with Alice and Rose and took the guys with me to a bar. I ordered tequila and drank two shots quickly.

Jasper put his arm around me and said, "I guess it was bad news."

I shook my head back and forth with disgust and said, "We're at the wrong end of the profession, Jasper. We don't see people until sick mother fuckers hurt them. We're doing this all backward."

"I'm afraid it is how it works," he said and drank his own shot quickly.

"How am I supposed to make this right? I should leave her in her confusion so she doesn't have to face this. Hell, I can barely face it and it didn't happen to me."

Emmett looked over at me and said, "Don't count her out. Rose went through hell, but she came out on top. Bella is stronger than you think, and I think she's proven it."

I looked at him as if he was the one who lost his mind. "Strong?" I asked, "She's split into different people."

"Yes, to survive she had to. It is rare because most people off themselves or end up locked away forever. Bella did what she had to do and it was pretty damn smart if you ask me."

I thought about the core personality working so hard to hold them all together, never letting one become too dominate to lose herself. She sought out help and that showed her inner strength. I nodded, thankful to have Emmett along to give his perspective. Rose was lucky to have him, regardless of his lack of wealth.

By the time the girls found us we were pretty much drunk. They forced us to eat something before getting onto the boat and heading back to the island. I pulled Bella onto my lap and held her protectively as we soared through the water. When we got home she had to help my down the dock.

I was leaning my weight onto her and babbling like a fool. She didn't take me to the house but led me to the hammock instead. When it swayed I laughed loudly, feeling like I was on a rollercoaster. She climbed up with me and had her feet at my head.

"Edward, can you understand me?" she asked.

"Yes," I said with a laugh. "I speak English fluently."

"No, I mean are you listening to me?" she clarified.

"Isabella is talking, and I'm listening," I said instead of a simple yes. To my drunken mind it sounded profound, instead of stupid.

Her voice softened and she said, "I was six the first time. I couldn't go to school for a week and my mother left me home with him. I had to lay in the filth and the blood with my covers over me. It was a week before she saw."

I tried to rise up on my elbows but the swaying of the hammock kept me down. I tried to speak, to tell her how brave she was and how much it meant to me that she would tell me. But she turned her head so I couldn't see her and said, "My mother was beaten and forced to tell the police she fell down the stairs. He broke her ribs because she told him to leave."

'I'm sorry," I said, and felt my fingernails digging into my palms. I had no idea what her mother looked like, so it was Bella I imagined being beaten.

"I was six," she said loudly. "At six you don't know how to fix anything. I didn't know who to call or how to stop anything. I was six," she repeated.

My own stomach lurched at the idea that I never helped the little girl who was so desperate for help. I threw her in a bath just because her face was dirty. I was arrogant and liked that she followed me around all day, never realizing she needed to trust someone to feel safe.

My disgust with myself rose up out of me like a cancer. I leaned over the hammock to vomit up my drinks. The movement sent us both tipping over and I landed in the sand right where I had thrown up. Bella rolled away and I looked at her with fear she had been hurt. I wanted to rush to her, but my drinks were coming up all over my shirt. I couldn't do something as simple as apologize and watched as she looked on in horror.

She jumped up and ran down the beach away from the house. When I finally got control of myself I pulled off my shirt and headed after her. I wasn't able to run due to my condition, but I walked as fast as I could. The waves were slowly covering her footprints and I had to quicken my pace to keep track of her.

I was stumbling like a drunk and I noticed the tracks leave the surf and head up a sandy trail. I followed in the darkness and came across her standing at the edge of a drop-off. I looked at the height and knew it was only enough to hurt her, not kill her.

"Don't," I said pleadingly. Nothing else followed, not able to know which words to use.

She held her hand up to stop me from coming closer. She was having a hard time focusing. The others personalities were not on board with her decision, and it was causing confusion in her head. I forced myself to concentrate on the scene in front of me or I would lose her forever.

I spoke loudly to get her attention. "Isabella, this isn't the way to handle it. I'm here and I'll never leave you. I'll never find it too hard to deal with and I'll help you with everything."

I meant every word, but surely she wouldn't believe me. She shook her head as her tears fell. "You can't help. It is stuck inside of me and it will never go away."

I was weaving as I tried to stand so I fell purposefully onto my knees. I looked up at her and begged with everything I had. "Don't leave me, please. I can't bear it without you."

She began clawing at her throat as her memories refused to be silenced and said, "He would take me outside to the swing set and put a rope around my neck. He would lift me off the ground and pull me all the way to the top as I fought to breathe. I'm tired of fighting," she cried.

I held out my arms and said, "Fight for me. I'm fighting for you and together we can win. I love all of you Isabella. You can be whoever you need to be in the moment and it won't change my feelings for you."

"You make me want to come out," she cried loudly. "You make me want to be out here with you, but it hurts so much."

"I know," I said emphatically. "Let me hold you and shoulder some of the pain. Together we can do it, but it has to be together."

She looked at me as if trying to make some decision. I crawled closer on my knees and kept my arms out in front of me. She finally dove at me, wrapping her entire body around mine as she cried. It was the core crying, and also the little girl who was so victimized. It was the woman who longed to know physical love and also the professional who needed another to kiss her man for her. I could also feel the rage in my arms as she cried, knowing it was there too. I held them all in my arms and felt love for each one of them.

This was the breakthrough we needed all along. It was the moment all the splinters came together to fight as one. I held her on the dirt path as the moon and stars filled the night sky. I was too drunk to pick her up and carry her back to the house, but it didn't matter. We rose from the ground together, holding on to each other for the strength to walk.


	24. Chapter 24

24

I woke up the next morning to find Bella lying next to me staring at my face. I smiled and the simple action caused pain. I groaned and closed my eyes again. I felt her hand come to my head and massage it gently. It was heavenly and much better than anything Tanya ever did for me.

"I'm sorry I over drank," I told her.

"It's okay," she said softly.

"No, it's not, and it won't happen again." I wanted to sound emphatic but I was afraid to raise my voice.

We had a lot of work to do today and I hated that my condition would make it difficult. I forced myself to get up and I staggered to the shower and let the water soothe my aching body. I then dried off, got dressed, and went into the kitchen.

Alice was making eggs and shook my head before looking at them. Bella made me some dry toast and I thanked her and then kissed her cheek.

"What do we feel like doing today?" Jasper asked.

"Bella and I are spending the day alone," I said quickly. She looked over at me and I gave her my determined stare. She finally nodded her approval and went back to our room to get ready for the day.

I asked the others to spend as much time away as possible. Rose looked at me with irritation and said, "Do you want us to leave early?"

"Can you?" I asked, only joking. She glared at me and Jasper promised they would keep a low profile.

They all dressed in swimsuits and took off with the snorkeling gear. I waited for Bella to return and led her to the porch swing, hoping the beautiful view would help with our session.

I began by making a request. I wanted little Bella present for our discussion and made sure the core would allow it. "Is Kido here?" I asked.

Bella sighed and sat silently for a moment before saying, "Go ahead."

"Okay, I know the abuse happened to you as a child, but it does carry through all the development stages."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"How did you feel when your body began to develop? When you began to grow breasts?" I asked, and watched her closely.

"I felt dirty," little Bella answered.

"Did you know you had every right to grow and develop? It wasn't done to attract men but to allow you a fuller life."

She looked down at her hands and said, "The men at the hospital would touch them."

It felt like a bolt of lightning exploded from the sky and hit me right in the chest. "What?" I asked, finding it hard to let her words sink in.

"It was why I didn't want to bathe," she admitted.

I couldn't remain seated. I stood and walked to the stairs as I struggled to remain calm. I lost the battle and turned to punch the post several times with my fist. I swore without intention as I clenched my teeth and jaw. I wanted a way to turn back time, to beat the hell out of each of the orderlies who abused her further.

I felt a soft hand on my back and spun around to find Bella looking at me. I took her softly in my arms and said, "I'm sorry honey. I am so sorry for what they did to you. But I am sorrier for leaving you and not understanding what was going on."

She kept her head against my chest and said, "When I got older I would touch myself. I was bad."

"How did it feel when you touched yourself?" I asked her.

"I liked it," she admitted.

"Because it is natural to want to feel good," I told her. "Our bodies develop and they enjoy being touched in certain places and in certain ways. It isn't bad, it is natural." I pulled back so I could see her face and said, "But only with our own permission. Nobody has the right to touch another person without permission."

Her mouth twitched a little and she let her eyes lower as she asked, "Do you want to touch me?"

Man, it was a loaded question. She drove me insane with desire, but my fear of damaging her, especially after finding out more, would make me hesitate. I finally nodded and said, "I love you, and that makes me want to make you happy any way I can. If it makes you happy for me not to touch you, I won't. If it would make you happy for me to touch you, I would."

She nodded as if she understood and then said, "I like it when you kiss me."

I smiled and took hold of her chin with my fingers and tilted her mouth to mine. I kept the kiss soft and gentle and she responded the same way. When I finally let her go she smiled widely and took my hand, leading me back to the swing.

We looked at the blue water as we rocked and then she said, "I used to think about killing him. Sometimes I thought I did."

I braced myself and said, "Do you know if any of the others hurt anyone?"

Her face turned to look at me and she said, "Maybe."

I wasn't sure if she didn't know and thought it could be so, or if she was telling me without outright admitting anything.

I looked her right in the eyes and said, "Promise me if anyone wants to hurt someone you'll tell me, okay?"

She nodded and then looked away. I was so proud of the progress we were making but I had to address one more thing. I said it in my head a few times before saying it out loud. "Do you love Jake?" I finally asked like a coward.

She took a deep breath and then said, "He was nice to her."

I took a deep breath of my own and added, "She is part of you, do you love him?"

"Parts of us love you, too," she said to make my heart ache. I knew eventually she would have to make a decision between us, and I really didn't know the man at all. Maybe he was a great guy and I should let her go? I couldn't even finish the thought before my desire to pummel him arose.

I finally said, "Okay, we'll work it all out."

She nodded and then said, "Where are my parents?" I thought she meant what happened to them and I dreaded the conversation, but she clarified and asked, "Do you know where they're buried?"

"I can find out," I said, and made a mental note to get someone working on it right away. She needed to visit their graves and have a place to remember them. "Will you tell me about them?" I asked.

It was hard for her, but she spent the rest of the morning telling me wonderful things about her parents. They were all memories as a young child and I felt awful that her happiness had to end at such a young age. I began sharing stories about my family and soon we were laughing together on the porch.

It was a productive morning and I felt she deserved to have fun during the afternoon. I suggested we put on our suits and ride the jet ski. She jumped up and hurried to get ready. I waited on the deck with a towel and when she walked out of the house I couldn't help myself and scanned her body with my eyes.

She blushed and took the towel from my hand to cover herself. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. You have an amazing body."

She shook her head and said, "Not like Rose and Alice."

"You're right," I said with authority. "Yours is much better."

She smiled as we walked to the beach and I noticed how she slowly let the towel fall off of her. I got onto the ski and when she climbed on behind me and held around my waist I said, "Tighter." She tightened her arms and I said again, "Tighter." She pulled her feet up around me and had me locked into her grasp with both arms and legs. I smiled and said, "Perfect."

She laughed and we took off through the surf. Perfect was exactly the way it felt. I was flying with happiness and hopeful we would be back in Seattle by the end of the year. I told myself not to get too excited and prepare for setbacks along the way, but for now everything was perfect.

When the others finally returned Bella and I were resting in the hammock. They headed right to the house without speaking to us and Bella looked at me with concern. "Are they mad at us?" she asked.

"No, I told them I wanted to spend the day with you. They are trying to stay out of our way."

She looked over at the house and said, "Why, I like them?"

I pulled her face to mine and said, "I like them too, but I like you better."

She giggled and leaned over to kiss me. It was still her innocent kissing which told me it was her core staying present for the kiss. I loved it, but also longed for more. I deepened the kiss and let my hand run down her side to her ass. I felt her tense so I moved it back up and broke off the kiss.

"Let's go see them," I offered, and held the hammock for her to climb off.

As we walked toward the house she put her arm around me and said, "Thank you, I know it must be hard for you."

"The kiss?" I asked, and she nodded. "Naw, I can go a long time without wanting to kiss you. Minutes at a time, sometimes several seconds." She laughed and when we entered the house everyone turned to look at us. "Seems like Isabella likes you bastards," I teased.

She looked at them and then back at me before saying, "Bella, you can all call me Bella."

Jasper gave me a knowing glance and a small fist pump in congratulations. I was walking on air and felt almost powerful. We sat down to eat with our friends and felt like a real couple. Bella began asking Alice to tell her about my childhood. It was my turn to feel tortured and she took several swipes at me and my massive ego.

The conversation finally moved to Emmett and Rose and they began discussing baby names. Bella seemed totally interested in their planning. When Rose said she wanted an old fashioned name Bella said, "What about Pearl?"

Rose smiled and said, "I like it."

"It was my grandmother's name," she said proudly. "I always wanted to use it, but you can if you want."

Everyone turned to look at me and I let my head fall. We hadn't gotten to the point I could tell her she would never have a baby of her own. She could adopt, but with her medical history the likelihood would be slim.

I was feeling a damper coming on and I wanted to end the day positively. I asked Bella to watch the sunset with me and the others joined us. We sat on the beach and each made a wish the moment the sun dropped from the horizon.

It is custom not to share your wish or it won't come true. I wished for a miracle, so Bella could be a mother and know the joy she deserved to know. Phil took away her childhood and teen year's happiness, it wasn't right he got her adult years, too.

We all sat quietly in the dark until Bella pulled on my hand and said, "I'm tired, can we go to bed?"

"Sure," I said, and got up to help her up. We said goodnight to the others and walked to the house arm in arm.

When we got to the room it was Bella who turned and locked the door. She looked up at me as her face turned red. My heart was pounding and I waited for her to say what she was thinking. She closed her eyes and reached around to remove her bikini top and then quickly removed her bottoms.

I was holding my breath, afraid to even move in case I did something wrong. She finally opened her eyes and said, "I want you to make me feel good."

My only thought was, Holy shit!


	25. Chapter 25

25

I had so many responses I could make. I knew it was too soon and I wasn't about to do anything to damage her further. She was standing naked in front of me, but I couldn't accept what she was offering me. I looked at her with pleading eyes and said, "It's too soon."

She shook her head as her eyes filled with tears and said, "I only remember horrible pain and humiliation. I want to know what I should feel."

"Bella, when you're well you will have your choice of men. I can't assume you'll still want me." The truth hurt to say it. As much as I wanted to believe we would always be together she needed to be free to choose.

Her face fell and she said, "I'm sorry, when you said you loved me, I thought…." She stopped talking and shook her head.

I took a step toward her and tried to explain. "I do love you, and I love you in that way. But I am terrified of doing the wrong thing. I can't hurt you Bella, I just can't."

"I'm not asking you to hurt me," she begged. "I'm asking you to love me."

I stood there taking gasps of air, trying to do the right thing and wanting nothing more than to love her completely. I suddenly realized she was asking for intimacy, contact of a sexual nature, not necessarily intercourse. I could give her what she wanted without any actual penetration.

I walked right up to her body and placed my hands lightly on her waist, right where it curved inward. My hands then moved along her skin to her back and underneath her long hair. I could feel the goosebumps breakout on her flesh and her nipples harden against my bare skin.

I took a deep breath before picking her up and taking her to the bed. I collapsed onto her, kissing her with nothing but desire. She followed my lead, reacting in every way. I kissed her throat, sucking lightly until I felt her chest arching up to me. I moved to her breast, using my tongue to make her moan.

I could smell her scent and it was calling me, begging me to taste her. I became aware I still had on my swim trunks and I vowed to keep them on to avoid temptation. "You are so beautiful," I told her honestly.

"I'm shaking," she said, and I raised my head to make sure she was okay. She smiled at me and nodded, telling me she was shaking from the sensations and not from fear. I came back to her mouth and kissed her gently. I held her head in my hands and looked down at her face.

"Tell me what you're feeling," I asked.

"I don't feel real. I feel like a character in a book that has the luxury of wanting more."

I frowned and said, "Why don't you have the luxury?"

She spoke with confidence although her tone was light. "I don't pretend to think I'm fixed, but I want to hope that I am."

I smiled and her face lit up. She was a regular woman in my arms, someone loved by the man holding her. This was real and I wanted her to know it. "You can have more," I said.

"Yes," she moaned. "I want more."

I returned to my previous actions, kissing my way down her body as I listened to her mewing. I moved to kiss her inner thigh, determined not to penetrate her even with my tongue. She gasped when I turned my head, running my nose over her most sensitive spot.

"More," she called out to me in a panted breath.

I concentrated on that spot and she began to lift her pelvis to meet me. Her legs were rubbing on the sheets and her hands grabbed onto my arms and squeezed me tightly. She moaned loudly now and my own panting was sending my hot breath right where it needed to be. She screamed out and her entire body rose off the bed. I continued to lick her juices finding my own heaven from her body.

She began to cry and it scared me to death. I quickly pulled away from her and lifted both hands into the air. "God Bella, I'm sorry," I said in shame.

She shook her head and spoke through her tears. "I'm not sad, I'm happy."

I felt amazing relief and chuckled as I fell onto the bed. She pulled me to her and kissed me tenderly and expertly. I wondered if a moment like this would be possible and here it was, better than I imagined. I could spend forever kissing her and knowing I brought her pleasure.

She closed her eyes and rested on my chest as I ran my fingers up and down her spine. She sighed and turned to look at me. Her eyes grew wide and she jumped away in horror. She tried to cover her body and said, "What are you doing? I belong to Jake."

I was stunned but I wasn't running off with my tail between my legs. I sat up and looked at her stiff posture, holding the covers over her. "No, you asked me to love you and that's what I did. You don't belong to Jake, you don't belong to anyone," I added for emphasis.

"You are my therapist, not my lover," she said to really put it to me.

I was angry and hurt and I lashed out unfairly. "Really?" I said loudly. "Maybe you need to take a vote."

I knew it was an ugly thing to say but I was in heaven and she pulled it out from under me. All the personalities were growing closer to me except for this Bella. A part of me wanted her to go away, but another part of me wanted her to love me too.

"I want to go home," she demanded.

I stood and walked right up to her, still wearing my trunks. "Let me talk to Marie," I asked.

She looked confused and her eyes began darting around the room as they fought over who would come forward. I gave her a knowing smirk and said, "When you guys work it out, I'll let you leave. Until then you will remain here."

I reached the door and just when I turned the knob I heard her giggle loudly. I looked over my shoulder and she dropped the blanket and ran to jump into my arms. "Do you want to play?" she asked eagerly.

I walked with her over to the bed and set her down. "No, I don't want to play," I said, and walked away. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I couldn't look back to see her expression. I was certain she had her bottom lip out, pouting at my rejection.

I went outside and climbed onto the hammock. I was emotionally and physically exhausted but the thing that worried me the most was this was just the beginning and I knew there was a long road ahead of us. I finally went to sleep and didn't wake until the sun rose.

I stretched and yawned before sitting up and looking at the person standing at the edge of the water. I walked over to see what Bella was doing. I looked at her face and saw the dark circles making me wonder if she slept at all.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She gave me a cynical chuckled and said, "No, I'm not okay. How much longer are you going to keep up this charade?"

Oh God, she was still Ms. Swan. I sighed with frustration and turned to head into the house. She spun around angrily and said, "You're just going to walk away? You have nothing to say?"

I continued walking as I yelled, "I'm going inside to take a piss, you are welcome to join me if you like."

"You are no gentleman," she screamed.

I laughed very loudly and shook my head, "I never said I was."

I found Jasper in the kitchen and I ignored the warning look he gave me. I got a cup and poured some coffee. "I talked with Isabella last night," he informed me.

"Yeah, which one?" I chuckled, because it was easier to laugh than cry.

He put his arm on my shoulder and I felt myself tense. I didn't want his sympathy but more importantly I didn't want his insight. I shook my head and said, "Dr. Whitlock, I really don't want to hear what you have to say."

"Too bad," he insisted. "This is unchartered territory and you are going to hear my assessment. I realize you are in love with her, but it is clouding your judgment."

I brushed his hand off of me and said, "I've heard this song before, it is a favorite of my fathers."

"Jesus, you arrogant prick," he said in anger. "I'm trying to help you out here. I can see something you can't because you're too close."

"And what is that?" I yelled, coming quickly to the end of my patience.

"To keep the core present you have to keep her attention, keep her wanting and learning. If you give in to her she'll back off and let the others surface as she deals with her happiness."

"So you are telling me to keep her miserable?"

"No, keep her learning and growing."

"I am," I yelled, and tossed my hands into the air.

"Are you saying you didn't give her what she asked for last night?"

"No, I didn't. I expressed my love for her, but I did not have intercourse with her. I'm not a complete idiot." He opened his mouth but I held up my hand to stop him. "I think you all should leave now," I stated.

Alice walked into the room and looked at us with concern. She finally said, "We have two days until our plane comes."

"Spend them on the mainland," I said, and walked from the house. I was ready for them to leave; it was too hard to deal with them and Bella. I also had to admit it hurt my pride to know she was talking to Jasper and telling him personal things about us.

I looked around for Bella and saw her walking away from me down the shore. I jogged to catch up to her and took hold of her arm. She quickly pulled her arm away and I said, "Look, there is the therapist side of me, the selfish, spoiled boy my mother thinks is perfect, the business partner, the man who loves Bella, and many others. I can bring then forth at will and there is nothing wrong with it, but you need to learn to do that too. I know a part of you loves Jake, but I also know a part of you loves me. It is that part I want to talk with."

"I don't mean to hurt you," she said sadly, and I no longer saw Jake's woman.

"I know," I said, "But we both need to understand a part of you wants Jake. We need to make preparations to return in a few months and you're going to have to choose."

She nodded as if the idea settled something disturbing in her mind. It made me aware I needed to up my game. I couldn't claim her as my own until she saw Jake again and decided for herself. I told her the others were leaving and she seemed a little relieved about it.

She looked back at me and said, "So how do we prepare to leave in a few months?"

"We need to start with learning to be aware of all the different personalities and let them be aware of each other."

She shook her head adamantly and said, "No way."

It was in that moment I knew there were personalities I hadn't seen yet. Maybe the one with the deep voice who protected her was not willing to come forward at will. I didn't push it any further and decided to work on something I dreaded, the issue of never having children.

"I know you are beginning to remember the pain inflicted onto you as a child, but there are some lasting consequences that I need to point out to you." I watched for a reaction and she stiffened before looking away. I continued and said, "It will be easier for you or Marie to hear what I have to say. I don't want to say it to Kido."

She stopped walking and turned to look at me. Her shoulders slumped a little and her eyes changed from defiance to a look of wariness. I was happy it was Marie who stepped forward to hear what really affected her.

I smiled softly and put my hands on her shoulders. "The doctor said you have some internal damage. It will be impossible to carry a baby…I mean, your own, from your own egg."

She didn't respond so I added more. "You do ovulate so you could use a surrogate. That is a woman who carries the baby inside her body but it comes from your own DNA."

Again, she only stared without responding. I finally asked, "Do you have any questions?"

She looked me right in the eyes and said, "Am I having a baby?"


	26. Chapter 26

26

I let my mind consider the possibility of Bella being a mother, not actually giving birth but being responsible for a child. I wanted her to have experiences she missed as a little girl, with the ability to see it through her own child's eyes. I could see all the progress she had made, but when I thought of her being a mother I could see how much further she had to go.

"No, love, you are not having a baby," I said.

I wasn't sure if she would cry or ask questions, but her reaction surprised me. She exhaled as if she was nervous of my answer. She seemed relieved and I wondered if she was tired of being in charge of all the splinters and didn't want a baby.

"You are still young, so we'll talk about it later," I said, and she nodded in agreement. "Dr. Whitlock and the others are leaving soon."

She looked back at the house and then changed into Leggy and said, "I want to say goodbye and give them a message for Jake."

She walked away from me as I stood there like a fool. I didn't want to hear the message so I continued down the shore. I tried to think of any way to make a strong connection with the side of Bella who wanted Jake. Maybe her fracture was so specific she wasn't capable of feeling anything for someone else.

I walked for close to two miles before I turned around and headed back. I was in a funk and feeling sorry for myself. When I got close to the house I could see Bella sitting on the porch swing reading a book. I walked up to her, knowing it was Leggy. I glanced at the title and smiled. "Moby Dick?" I asked.

"Yes, I've never read it," she said, "Have you?"

I nodded and reached out for the book. I sat next to her and began reading from the page she was on. She sat there for over an hour listening to me read the book. When I finally shut the pages and looked at her she smiled a genuine grin.

"Thank you," she said, "I really enjoyed that."

"We should make it part of our routine, just you and me," I offered.

She knew I meant her personality and I was happy when she agreed. It would be something I could do with her that would give us a more personal connection. I stopped thinking about her message to Jake, because I felt this was going to give me an edge.

We sat staring out at the ocean and she spoke softly. "Edward, what should I do with all my anger?"

I looked at her face to see it was the core speaking. I needed her to get more specific so I asked, "What are you angry about?"

Her answer shocked me. "I'm angry at all the adults who should have been stronger. I was a kid, and I survived. Why couldn't they?"

"It isn't about who is stronger, or who is better. Your parents did the best they could, but Phil made sure he got the upper hand. He didn't destroy you because you came up with a plan he couldn't foresee. Most adults wouldn't be able to do what you did. You're phenomenal, Bella."

She didn't want to hear my compliment, she was filled with a rage that manifested as a personality, and she didn't know how to tame it or control it. I nudged her with my leg and asked her to follow me. We went to the kitchen and I got a cantaloupe and took it onto the back deck. I set it on the ledge and held out the butcher knife to her.

"Here, whack away," I instructed.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"Let the anger go, hack at the melon."

She turned and looked at the innocuous fruit. Her thin fingers tightened around the handle and she raised it high above her head. "Go," I yelled.

She brought her arms down and cut the cantaloupe in two with the first hit. She continued on and on until it was nothing but pulp. I laughed and reached out to grab her hand. She spun around, pointing the knife right at me. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were bulging.

"It's Edward, I won't hurt you," I said, trying to calm her.

"I want you dead," she said in the deep voice I recognized.

I shook my head slowly. "No, I'm Bella's friend. I love her and I would never hurt her," I said calmly.

She suddenly dropped the knife and fell onto her butt against the railing. I grabbed the knife into my own hand and tossed it across the deck before I pulled her into my arms. It was kido and she was terrified from the emotions which came out of her.

"It's okay," I told her as I rubbed her back. She climbed onto my lap as her sobs became heart wrenching.

"He hurt me," she cried. "I begged him to stop."

"I know, sweetheart. He was evil and he'll never hurt you again. You're safe and you can learn to be happy."

"I want my daddy," she cried.

"He's with you always. He's an angel watching over you," I told her, unsure what her beliefs were.

She turned her head and let it rest gently on my shoulder. I could feel her body relaxing and her cries subsided. She spoke with just a whisper and said, "I'm so tired of it all, the pain, the fear, and the confusion. I want to be with my parents."

"Ah Bella, you haven't begun to live. You have so much happiness ahead of you that it is impossible to imagine. Your parents deserve to see you living life to the fullest. Live for them; give their deaths meaning by living completely for them."

"Will you help me?" she asked with a monotone voice.

"I'll be right by your side the entire way," I promised.

She nodded against my shoulder and I felt we had enough of this sad, depressing shit. I stood and pulled her up with me. "Let's have fun, come on."

I took her into the house and put on some loud music. I held out my hand for hers and we danced in nonsensical steps and didn't even stay on beat. Seeing Bella laughing full hearted was a sight to behold. She didn't revert into Kido or let Baby Doll gyrate for her. She stayed in the present with me, acting silly and happy.

I grew tired first and fell into the chair breathing heavily. She danced over to me and turned to shake her booty right in my face. I reached out with my foot and gave her a shove, sending her sprawling onto the ground. She was laughing so hard I worried she wouldn't catch her breath.

I laughed just from the sight of her laughter and when we finally stopped she said, "We're all here, except Leggy and…."

Her admission caught me off guard. They were coming out together and not fighting each other. They were becoming integrated, except for Leggy. I knew it was Jake holding her back. I smiled and nodded as tears filled my eyes. "I'm so proud of you," I told her honestly.

"We all want to kiss you," she said, and then blushed as her head lowered.

I got onto the floor and crawled over to her. "It would be my pleasure," I said and leaned in to give her a sweet kiss. She kissed me back, not passionately, but in a trusting way. Like any woman who knows a man loves her.

I leaned over to kiss her again and a loud clap of thunder shook the windows. Bella screamed and I pulled her into my arms. "It's just a storm, it will blow over soon."

As soon as I said the words the sound of rain began to fall on the metal roof. I took her hand and led her into my room. I opened the drapes so we could watch the storm from the glass doors. She got onto my bed and I climbed up behind her, spooning her body to mine.

The sound of the rain and the warmth of Bella's body put me to sleep. I never let her go and she never tried to pull away. I hoped she was watching the storm with all of her personalities present. I wanted the child in Bella to find comfort and not fear from the weather. I wanted Baby Doll to find joy in intimacy, not overt sex. But mostly I wanted Bella to feel free to stay present without worry of the others. Leggy could pine over Jake, I didn't care. It was the core of Bella who I loved, and she was the one in my arms.

The phone ringing woke me up. Nobody had called us and it made me worry about the others and if they had been caught in the storm. I ran to the office and picked up the phone.

"Dr. Cullen, this is Sam Waters. I was hired by your father to investigate the parents of Isabella Swan."

I had asked my father to see if he could find out more information on Phil and where Bella's parents were buried. I was shocked to hear he hired a private investigator.

"Just a second," I said, and got up to shut the door and grab a pen. "Go ahead."

"First of all, her parents were killed within days of each other, the father first and then the mother. Mr. Swan was shot with his own revolver and then tortured to death. Mrs. Swan was…."

"Yes, I know," I said, growing sick to know Bella had watched her father being tortured.

"They are both buried in Forks, together," he informed me.

"Great," I said, already planning a trip there in my mind.

"Phil Harris was sent to Prison in Montana. He was able to plead down the death penalty but he had two life sentences. He was in trouble often and was considered a high risk inmate. He was attacked by two men and stabbed to death with a metal instrument fashioned from a bed rail."

"Okay, thanks," I said softly.

"Oh, and there is some money left to the child. I gave your father all the information."

"Thank you," I said, and was ready to hang up.

I had to relay this information to Bella and I worried about the pain that was coming for her. I decided to start with the money and see how she reacted to that. She was sitting on the bed and smiled when I came back into the room. I walked over and sat next to her and took her hand in mine.

"I have some news for you," I began. "When your parents died you inherited some money."

"Why?" she asked in confusion.

"Because you are their only child so you get whatever was theirs."

She didn't say anything and I thought I could feel her hands shaking. I held them tighter to offer support and said, "Bella, I'm so sorry for what happened to your father."

Her head leaned onto my shoulder and she said very softly, "He never cried. He told me to be brave."

I regretted never getting the opportunity to meet the man. He amazed me and now I knew why Bella was so amazing. I put my arm around her and said, "You are very lucky to come from such wonderful genes. I think you must be very much like your father."

"Maybe if I had been…different," she said as she struggled to find the right words to use. "Maybe if I was fat, or mean, or blonde, something other than how I was, Phil would have left us alone."

"If you were different the only thing that would have changed is you would be dead too. He would have victimized you no matter what, but you are Isabella Swan and he couldn't destroy you."

She sighed and said, "But I'm broken."

"Broken can be fixed. You're alive, Bella. And he's dead. You won, not him."

Silent tears fell from her eyes and she added, "Did I kill him?"

"No, he was murdered in prison. He died a painful, horrible death. But look at you, you fought on and now you're getting a chance to live without pain or fear. This is your time, Bella. Make it count."

Her face turned to look up at mine. I leaned and kissed the tears trailing down her cheeks. She smiled and whispered very softly, as if not wanting the others to hear. "I love you," she said.

Her words touched my heart and I felt like it was going to explode from happiness. I was speaking directly to Bella, the one I loved so much, and she never wavered in her attention. I had one last thing to tell her. "Your parents are buried together in Forks, would you like to go visit them?"

"Together? That's nice," she murmured. "I'll go someday, but not right now."

I leaned over to kiss her gently on her lips. When I backed away I saw a different pair of eyes. "I'll have Jake take me to Forks when I get back."


	27. Chapter 27

27

After a few more months the only personality to appear besides the core was Leggy. She wouldn't give up on her mission to see Jake. After a lot of thought I knew I needed to bring him to the island. It would be too dangerous to make her respond in an environment she wasn't accustomed to. I also wanted Jake to witness firsthand how much she cared for me too.

Bella and I were growing closer physically. We still hadn't had intercourse, but we were intimate with each other in other ways. I could always feel a bit of hesitation and I was growing tired of Leggy holding her back.

We were eating breakfast when I brought up the subject. "I'm going to as Jake to visit the island," I announced.

Her head snapped up and I saw her mouth twitch before asking, "Why?"

"We'll be going home soon. We need to deal with this issue beforehand."

I purposefully looked away from her, not wanting to feel the pain of her rejection. She got up and came over to sit on my lap. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she kissed my ear before saying, "It will all work out."

I smiled, noting how much things had turned around for Bella to be the one comforting me. I gave her a sensual kiss, enjoying the part of her that was mine. But as the time drew closer for Jake to arrive she spent more time in the background, with Leggy front and center.

The day he was to arrive I walked onto the front porch to see Bella waiting by the dock. She was holding onto the rails and bouncing with anticipation. When the boat came into view, I saw her jump up and down and then begin to pace.

I felt like someone was holding my heart and squeezing it. It hurt and I couldn't stand to see them greet each other, so I headed into the back and sat on the tree swing. I could hear the boat approaching and then head off back toward the mainland.

I sat there digging my foot into the sand as I counted to myself how long it would take for them to come to the house. I reached 468 before I heard the door open. Bella called out my name and I waited a second before answering.

They came into the back and Bella was holding his hand. He was a big guy, taller and larger than I remembered.

"Edward, this is my friend Jake," she said happily.

I didn't tell her I had met him in the hospital. I just extended my hand and thanked him for coming. Bella watched me closely and I noticed she let her hand drop from his. Jake looked around and said, "Wow, what an amazing place."

I pointed at the storage shed and said, "There's snorkeling gear and jet skis in there."

Bella jumped up and down and grabbed his arm again, "Let's put on our suits and go swimming," she suggested enthusiastically.

Jake nodded and they turned back toward the house. I let them get a few feet away and then called out for Bella to come back for a moment. She told Jake to go change and she came back to the swing.

I tried my best to smile, as I said, "Please don't wear your dark blue suit. It's my favorite."

She nodded and turned to leave, wrapping her arms around her own body. I knew this was hard for her, but it was killing me too. I got my shoes and a water bottle and decided to take a hike around the island. It would get me out of their way and help me deal with my own pent up anger.

I walked out the back of the house and saw them standing by the storage shed. Jake had on cutoffs, and his body was sick. I was filled with jealousy and felt only a bit better by the fact Bella had on a red swimsuit top and a pair of shorts.

I gave her a slight wave and took off into the brush. I could hear them with the Jet Ski and quickened my pace to get away from the sounds of them together. I would give them this one day, and then I was going to fight for the parts of Bella that were mine.

I returned late in the day and saw them sitting in the sand as if having a very deep conversation. I was curious to know what it was all about, but I stayed away and entered the back of the house. I showered off the sweat and grim and then went into the kitchen to make dinner.

The spaghetti was almost finished when they walked into the house together. I glanced at Jake's inane abs and then at Bella's smiling face. "Dinner in about ten minutes," I said without greeting them.

"I'll jump in the shower," Jake said, "Do you want to come, Bella?"

I dropped the tongs I was carrying and looked over at Bella with a pounding heart. I wouldn't let her climb in the shower naked with him. For all I knew they were fucking on the beach all day, but I wouldn't allow it to happen right in front of me.

Bella looked at me with a sad expression and then said, "No, I'll help Edward with dinner."

Jake walked off in a blasé manner, oblivious to her feelings for me. I couldn't help but pry when he left the room. "So, did you explain everything?" I asked her.

She let her eyes drop to the floor and she slowly shook her head. It angered me and I threw the hot pad at the sink. I was overacting and I knew it, but I had given her the entire day alone to explain and now I would have to do it.

She walked up to me and said, "I didn't want him to know."

"Why?" I demanded.

"Because he is the only one I know who isn't aware of everything," she explained as her eyes filled with tears. "He likes me, for me."

I shook my head back and forth as I spoke. "He doesn't even know you. He is in love with a version you projected, an echo of the real you. Do you think you can keep everything else away from him? He knows your condition; he's just never seen it."

"Maybe you can help me learn to be like this all the time," she begged, and it was yet another blow to my heart.

I stood silently until she finally raised her head to look at me. "Is it what you want?" I asked, "For me to be gone and you with Jake as this personality all the time?"

She barely nodded and I didn't know if she wasn't sure or is she was afraid of hurting me. I finally pushed her and said, "So is Baby Doll going to kiss him, or will you be doing it?"

Jake walked in and gave me a warning glare. He didn't like me talking harshly to his woman. If it was the other way around I rip his head off, so I understood his concern. I went back to preparing the meal. Jake offered to help but we both told him it was okay. We worked side by side without saying a word to each other.

When we finally all sat down I looked at Jake and said, "I suppose you realize you were invited here as part of Bella's therapy?"

"Of Course," he said and put his arm around her. I clenched my jaw and tried to ignore his large dark hand on her delicate skin.

I looked at Bella's face and she wouldn't look at me. I assumed it was Leggy still sitting in the chair but I didn't know for sure. I decided to get right to the point. "I'm afraid you are going to be a bit upset with me Jake, but it appears we both love the same woman."

Jake was smiling as I spoke and I watched as the realization of my words sunk into his mind. He looked at Bella and then back at me as if we were playing some elaborate joke on him. I took a bite of my garlic bread, which I purposefully made to keep them apart. Bella swallowed deeply and then turned to look at Jake.

"The woman you met loves you very much. But I have…other sides to me, which love Edward."

Jake sat back in his chair and looked at me. "You took advantage of her," he accused. "You've been the sole person with access to her mind and you've polluted her."

"Polluted?" I laughed. I looked at Bella and said, "He just called you polluted."

"Stop it," she said to me, when I thought she should have said it to him. "This is difficult for all of us."

I tried to contain my laughter and asked, "All of you or all of us at the table?"

She reached under the table and kicked me with her foot. She didn't have on shoes but it still hurt my shin. "Shit, that hurt," I yelled, and looked down at the ground.

"Bella, we're leaving," Jake said, and stood to make a dramatic point.

"Sit down," I instructed him. "You have to call for a boat and nobody is coming this late." I actually wasn't sure if it was true or not, but my tone convinced them both. "Bella is not ready to leave. We need to deal with this situation somewhere she is safe to react and be herself."

"Do you expect us to arm wrestle or something," Jake said angrily.

I looked at his huge arms and immediately refused that idea. "No, I wouldn't stand a chance," I admitted honestly. "But you need to understand Bella's condition and see it for yourself."

Just the thought of it sent Leggy into the background and Marie arrived. She huddled down in the chair and let her hair fall in front of her face. Jake looked a bit surprised and I nodded at her and said, "This is Bella Swan, the real Bella Swan. She is courageous, and bright, and made it through hell. But she is also, terrified, hesitant, and unable to have children."

Jake stared at me as if I was somehow controlling her. I nodded in her direction again and said, "Bella, let me talk to Baby Doll."

Her head rose and she looked over at Jake and scanned his body. "Hey," she said with her accent. "Do you like to play?"

He looked over at me and chuckled before saying, "You expect me to believe this?"

I sat back and when Baby Doll smiled at me I blew her a kiss. "Are you suggesting Bella is lying to you?"

"No," he said quickly. "I just think you are up to something."

Bella got out of her chair and came over to sit on my lap. She leaned up to speak into my ear and said, "Can I feed you?"

"Sure," I said, and kept my eyes trained on Jake as she picked up some spaghetti with her fingers and brought it to my mouth. The sauce ran down my chin and she licked it up with her tongue as she giggled.

It was his turn to watch the woman he loved with another man. I knew how painful it was but he had to know what Bella was dealing with. He looked at her and said, "Why do you have an accent?"

She looked over at him and said, "Because my mamma is a whore in New Orleans. She let me play with the boys."

Jake's eyes moved to mine and I shook my head, telling him it wasn't so. He looked relieved and I was afraid he was going to have a breakdown right in front of me. I finally turned to Baby and said, "I need to talk to Kido now."

She turned around on my lap and looked at Jake with wide eyes. I wrapped my arms around her middle and said, "This is little Bella. I met her a long time ago in the state mental hospital. We were best friends, weren't we?"

She stuck out her bottom lip and said in a child's voice, "I don't want to take a bath."

Seeing Bella as a child freaked Jake out the most. He scooted his chair back and stood to walk shakily toward the door. I watched him and so did Bella. Right when the door closed she jumped from my lap and ran after him, screaming his name.

There was nothing I could do but watch.


	28. Chapter 28

28

It was late at night and I was swinging gently in the hammock when Jake walked outside. He came right up to me and I could see the worry in his expression. I knew this wasn't going to be easy for him, and a part of me hoped he would run off screaming.

"Having a hard time sleeping," he said with an uncomfortable smile.

"It is a lot to take in, that's for sure," I admitted.

"So are you going to tell me what I'm missing or do I have to wait and get it from her?" he asked.

I appreciated his boldness and decided to come clean with everything now. "Bella's stepfather abused her in every way you can imagine. He was an evil, brutal man. He killed her father and mother, running off with Bella and finally ending up in Seattle. In order to make it through so many traumas she splintered into different personalities. We'll never know how many, but there are five strong fractures. You met one, and that side of Bella really does love you."

"So can she just stay as her?" he asked. "Your father said you guys were putting her back together, can you make her the Bella I know?"

I laughed at his suggestion, because it wasn't that simple and I wasn't about to make her the version who didn't love me. "The one you know is not the core. She is the side that interacts with the world to work and provide. The core is the one who manages everyone, but she is the hardest to reach emotionally."

"But you have?" he asked.

I couldn't lie to him, so I simply nodded. He took a couple of steps away from me and shook his head. "Why did you bring me here?" he finally asked.

"Because the only part of Bella resisting the integration is the part that loves you," I told him honestly.

"So you want me to break up with her?" he asked. I tried to judge his tone, to see if it was something he was looking for or something that would anger him.

I finally admitted the truth. "I want her to be happy. If the core can love you, great. If not, I want to win your Bella over. One of us has to change her mind."

He laughed and turned to look at me. "So, this is a fight? I have to win her away?"

I shrugged and said, "Well, you can give up and go home."

He laughed and I noticed he didn't agree or disagree. We were both sizing each other up and trying to determine if we could get the upper hand. I grew serious and then added, "She can't have children."

He nodded and took a deep breath. I could tell it was something that bothered him and it pissed me off that he wouldn't see past that to see how it would hurt Bella. I told him something I hadn't even told Bella. "I'm not big on kids. It won't bother me to spend my life with just her."

"So," he said slowly. "What will it do to her if I leave? Won't it cause more damage?"

"She is good here. She can take her time and there is nothing to pressure her. If you go, I'll still be here," I pointed out, because I wasn't going anywhere.

He put his hands over his face and rubbed for a moment before arching back and groaning loudly. "God, I'm so stupid. I was planning a life with her."

My jaw tightened and I remained quiet. He looked at me again and said, "You win. I'll leave tomorrow."

I nodded without thanking him or telling him what an ass he was to give up on her. I added one thing to concern him. "You have to tell her. I won't break her heart for you."

He looked tormented as he agreed and then walked back toward the house. I let my foot push off the sand and rocked in the hammock as I stared up at the moon. I had a big smile and I felt this was the beginning of my life with Bella by my side.

I woke up when I heard the door slam the following morning. I turned just my head and saw Bella and Jake walking down the dock with his suitcase. It was a one day trip and I prayed Bella saw his weakness. They stood at the end of the dock as the boat came closer.

Jake was doing all of the talking and Bella would nod every once in a while. The boat pulled up and he set his bag inside and then gave Bella a quick hug. She remained facing the ocean as the boat pulled away. He waved to her but she didn't respond.

I waited for her to return to the house but she stood perfectly still as she stared out to sea. I got off of the hammock and walked slowly toward her. She didn't turn to see me coming, so I cautiously put my arm around her.

She turned into me and cried loudly. I had no idea how to comfort her, so I held her and let her cry. I rocked her back and forth as I rubbed her back. She eventually got control of herself and pulled away to wipe her face.

"Come on," I said. "I'll make you some breakfast."

She took my hand and we walked together to the house. She sat at the table and let her head fall into her arms. I watched her as I started the coffee and made some toast. I set it in front of her and she finally sat up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her.

"I have no idea what a relationship is," she said sadly. "I don't think about things like buying a house or having a family."

"It is not something you should be thinking about right now," I told her. "You need to focus on yourself and nothing else."

She smiled slightly and asked, "Not even you?"

"Well," I grinned, "Maybe on me just a little."

She shook her head and took a sip of her coffee. I waited for her to share and didn't ask anything, although I had tons of questions in my mind. She finally said, "I really liked my job and I was good at it."

"I think it is important for you to find something that gives you a sense of accomplishment," I said, and she nodded.

I watched her bite on her lip and I knew she was contemplating something in her mind so I prodded her a bit. "So, what would you like to do for a living?"

Her face moved closer to mine with excitement and she said in almost a whisper, "I would like to write a book, about me, about all this stuff that happened to me."

It was a great idea, since all the fractures would have to work together to complete the full story of her life. I grew excited at the possibilities and tried to encourage her to run with that idea. We talked all through breakfast, bouncing ideas off one another. It was Jake's woman who was growing closer to me and it thrilled me beyond words.

We made a critical decision that day. We would take a trip to Forks to see her parents' graves and then return to the island and work on her book. I thought it was the perfect time to explore her ability to function in society as an integrated person.

I arranged for a flight out of Rio on a major carrier. I was nervous but I had to see if Bella could do it. I talked her through the process a dozen times before we actually walked into the airport. As luck would have it Bella was pulled aside for a full screening. There was nothing I could do as the security guard ran his hands up and down her legs and arms. I watched her change into Kido and she looked at me with terrified eyes.

I held up my thumb and then patted my chin, telling her to keep her chin up. She smiled and then her posture changed. Leggy emerged and she turned to the guard and said, "Do you mind?"

He stepped away and let her pass. I rushed up and gave her a tight hug. "I am so proud of you," I admitted.

She smiled and then took hold of my hand tightly. I walked to the gate with the core Bella. For everyone else this was a simple flight, but for her it was a life changing experience. We sat in our seats and I leaned over to kiss her a couple of times. She giggled and said with her accent, "Thank you Edward. We love you."

"I love all of you, too," I said, causing the woman in front of us to turn around. Bella and I both laughed and then snuggled up together for the rest of the flight.

It was dark when we landed in Seattle. We planned to spend the night at my parents' home and then head for Forks the next morning. As we drove through the city I noticed Baby Doll was emerging more and more. It was her old haunt and she wanted to play.

I was happy when we arrive at the house so I could get her locked in. We greeted my parents and then sat down for some food. I had my father there for support so I asked, "Bella, did you like living with Mrs. Harris?"

Her eyes saddened and she said, "She never spoke to me, you know, like I was her granddaughter. She would cry over her son and tell me what a good man he was." We all looked at Bella with sympathy but then she added, "I was very cruel to her."

I glanced at my father and he asked, "In what way?"

She was silent, as if having an internal battle with one of the personalities and then added, "I would yell at her all the time."

I was ready to jump in and tell her she had every right to yell, but my father continued on with the conversation by asking, "What did you yell at her about?"

Bella began to squirm and looked very uncomfortable. I glanced at my father and he nodded for me to give her a minute. She finally looked right at me and said, "I'm so tired, can I go to bed?"

I stood and took her hand to show her where she would be sleeping. She looked at the bed and then at me, as if asking if I would be there with her. I kissed her cheek and said, "If you get scared you can come into my room."

She nodded and I left her alone. I joined my father and began filling him in on Bella's plan to write a book. He was very encouraged and asked if he could speak with Bella alone the next day. I begged him to wait until we returned from Forks. I knew it would be an emotional trip and she could use his counsel when we returned. He agreed and we both headed off for bed.

I woke up the next morning and my bed was empty. I wasn't sure if it was a good sign or not. I was sure little Bella would have needed my company or at least Baby Doll would want to play. I took a shower and dressed before heading into the kitchen.

Bella was asleep on the living room couch and I knelt in front of her to wake her up. "Hey," I said softly and rubbed her cheek with my thumb. "You didn't have to sleep out here."

She looked around as if confused to her whereabouts. She sat up and rubbed her eyes before looking at me. I smiled and she smiled back at me. "I guess I didn't like being in the bed alone."

"You're welcome in my bed anytime, okay?" I said to make sure she understood. I was afraid it was Leggy who didn't like being alone but didn't find me a suitable alternative. "Go get ready and we'll leave after breakfast."

She gave me a quick kiss and headed off to her room. I make us a big breakfast, knowing how exhausting this day would be. We ate quickly and then said goodbye to mom and dad. I was holding Bella's hand and walking her to the car we rented when a police cruiser pulled into the driveway.

"Who's that?" Bella asked.

"I don't know," I said, and waited for the officer to approach us.

The man looked at Bella and said, "Marie Harris?"

She tensed and looked at me with horror. I nodded to the officer for Bella and he continued on. "You're under arrest for the murder of Marcus Volturi."


	29. Chapter 29

29

I had no idea what to say or do. I froze as my body went numb. The thought was absurd and I wanted to laugh but also drop the guy for saying something so awful to Bella. Luckily my father stepped in and began asking questions as Bella and I stood frozen.

"Marie was out of the country until last evening," dad explained.

The man nodded and said, "Mr. Volturi was killed last night after being seen with a woman in a bright pink wig. She was identified by several people as Marie Harris."

Bella's hand tightened around mine and I said, "She was here last night, someone else was wearing the wig to look like her."

"Did anyone see her from midnight to three in the morning?" the officer asked.

My father and I both looked at each other and we finally shook our heads. Bella began to cry and I begged my father to explain to the officer that she could not be arrested. It would damage her recovery to be locked away right now.

Carlisle took the officer aside and spoke to him for a few minutes. They finally agreed we would bring Bella to the station and my dad would be allowed to stay with her during questioning. We called Jasper and asked him to come to the station.

Bella and I were both terrified as we pulled in front of the large brick building. I held her tightly to my side and said, "You can do this Bella. Just let everyone come forward and work together on this."

She headed down the hallway with my father and then looked back and said, "Edward, I love you."

It felt like she was telling me goodbye and I didn't like the assumption. I yelled to her, "We'll do something special tonight, like dancing or something."

She smiled and then turned her head and walked away.

I was ready to break a window by the time Jasper arrived. He looked at me with worried eyes and asked me to have a seat. "Don't try to counsel me," I warned him.

"Sit down, I need to tell you something," he said, and I noticed his hands were shaking.

I sat in the chair across from him and said, "What, why are you so freaked?"

"I got a call this morning from the police. Marcus is my patient and his wife gave them my number. He was last seen picking up a young woman in a bright pink wig. I had to give them Bella's name and whereabouts."

I stared at him in shock. He did this to us. He sent them to arrest her for killing a low life bastard who deserved to be dead. I shook my head and mumbled, "You know she didn't do it."

"Then she has nothing to worry about," he said to comfort me, but it only fueled my rage.

"Nothing to worry about?" I screamed, "She has her sanity to worry about. She is being accused of murder, this will damage her further."

"Do you know for certain she didn't do it?" he asked.

I lunged at him, posting him against the wall as he struggled to free himself from my hold. An officer ran into the room and pulled us apart. I pointed at Jasper, feeling totally betrayed by him. "You just ruined our partnership. We're through and I never want to set eyes on you again."

I stormed from the room, but I had nowhere to go. I couldn't leave there without Bella and I had to make sure someone understood the depth of her issues. I walked to the front desk and asked to speak to the department psychologist. I was lead to a room where an older man sat, looking bored out of his mind.

I introduced myself and then launched into Bella's story. I tried to emphasize just how fragile she was and how important it would be for her to be released. He agreed and for the first time I felt like this misunderstanding would be fixed.

He left the room and didn't return for close to an hour. I could tell by his expression he had some bad news to tell me. I shook my head at him and said, "I'll bail her out, tell me how much."

"She hasn't been arraigned yet," he said, and then tore my world apart by adding, "There won't be bail. She is also being charged with the murder of Margaret Harris. Her body was just found."

I felt like I had entered a fun house and the room was tilting and yawing. This was crazy to think Bella snuck out of the house, murdered two people, and then snuck back in and slept soundly on the sofa. "You can search our house," I offered. "She doesn't have a wig and there was no blood on her. She would have no reason to kill them."

He looked at me accusingly and said, "Maybe she wasn't ready to come back to confront things?"

He was blaming me, saying I pushed her too quickly. I stood and walked to the wall to place my forehead against it. Nothing was making sense and I felt like someone was trying to get Bella. I realized she needed a lawyer, the best I could afford. I took off without another word to find someone, anyone, who could help.

I was referred to a lawyer by the name of Riley Biers. I heard he was relentless and known for working hard for his clients. I went right to his office, not taking the time to set up an appointment and told his secretary I had to see him immediately.

After telling her briefly about the case she interrupted his meeting and he agreed to meet with me. I knew Bella's condition would make this a landmark case, but I wanted to believe he truly thought she was innocent.

"I can guarantee you she won't go to prison," he told me. "She may have to be committed for a few years."

"No," I said firmly, remembering what had happened to her in the State Hospital. "She's innocent."

"Have you ever seen any propensity for anger or rage?" he asked.

I let my eyes look over his head and lied as I answered, "No, never."

"Okay, we'll need to interview nurses and doctors from her past. You said she dated a man? Leave me his contact information, too."

I nodded and he stood to leave. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"To meet with my client," he said, taking his briefcase and walking out the door.

I felt cut off, useless. Everyone was seeing Bella except me. I had to get her out on bail somehow and I would do whatever it would take to make her safe. If we had to run back to the island, I would do it.

I was waiting at home for any word, pacing back and forth as my mother tried to calm me. I was beyond reasoning with and when Alice walked into the room I exploded on her. "This is all Jasper's fault," I yelled. "He betrayed me and I'll never forgive him."

My tiny sister let loose with her own anger and yelled right back at me. "Don't you dare blame him for this. He answered honestly, knowing Bella didn't do this. So shut the hell up and try to figure out who would want to set her up for this."

"We got in last night," I said hopelessly. "Nobody knows she is here."

"Okay," Alice said as her brow furrowed, "Maybe it is a coincidence that wasn't planned. A girl trying to get Marcus' attention by pretending to be Bella, but he figured it out and got angry."

I turned my back to her and said, "The grandmother, too."

"What," she asked, and came around to face me.

"Mrs. Harris was killed last night too," I said, and refused to watch her reaction.

The room was silent and I heard my mother cry softly and sit down. I knew this looked awful for Bella, but I also knew there was no way she could have killed two people. She had so many opportunities before, why would she risk it now?

I couldn't just sit around, I had to get out there and find who did this. I left the house and drove to Mrs. Harris' dive. The police were still there and I watched as they pulled things from the house. I approached a young officer and said, "Hi, I'm Margaret's therapist, is there anything I can help clarify?"

The man looked at me and then said, "Do you know anyone who would hate her so much she would chop her face off?"

I swallowed and asked, "Her face was cut off?"

"No, hacked up, like they went ape shit with a butcher knife."

I could see Bella's swinging the knife at the cantaloupe and it turned my stomach. I quickly refocused and said, "So whoever did this would be covered in blood, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," he said. "But we don't have any blood drops or prints."

It would be beyond Bella's capability to commit murder and then clean up a crime scene or have enough forethought to make sure there wasn't any evidence. I was now totally convinced she didn't do it. My next stop was to my old office. I wanted to confront Jasper on Marcus' lifestyle and see if he knew what he had been up to. I got his file and walked into Jasper's office.

I tossed it on his desk and asked, "Okay, who was he seeing recently?"

"You know I can't tell you that," he said.

"We're partners collaborating on a patient, it is most certainly allowed," I said angrily.

Jasper leaned back and said, "I thought I ruined our partnership?"

"Fuck you," I yelled loudly. "You are my friend and close to being my brother-in-law. You know Bella is not capable of planning a murder to the extent of premeditation and hiding the evidence. This is a well planned double murder, so someone is setting her up."

"Jake?" he asked, putting the thought into my mind for the first time.

I was dumbstruck. Of course Jake would be angry about losing her. She must have told him about Marcus and he already knew her grandmother. Jake was the only one who knew what pieces to put together. I turned and ran from Jasper's office.

I was going to make Jake tell the truth no matter what it took. I went right to his business office and demanded to see him. His secretary looked terrified of me and said, "He's out of town until Friday."

At first it threw me, but then I realized he would use a business trip as an alibi. "Where is he?" I asked.

She looked up something on her computer and then said, "He's in Salt Lake City."

"What hotel?" I asked, and she shook her head, refusing to give me the answer.

I stormed from the place and headed to the police station. I needed to give Riley the information I had so he could look into it. I was certain it was Jake, and it would give me pleasure to see him put away forever for doing this. He should have been man enough to fight for Bella instead of walking away and then destroying her.

I ran into my father in the parking lot and rushed over to ask about Bella. He looked tired and worried, so it heightened my concern. He placed his hand on my shoulder and said, "She's hanging in there. She will be kept in the medical ward in isolation. No one will be able to hurt her."

It did ease my mind a bit, but I wasn't only worried about her physical health, I worried for her mind too.

"I think I know who did this," I babbled. "Jake was angry when he left and he would have a reason to tear her life apart. I just need to find out how he knew we were coming into town. Maybe he….."

"Son," my dad said to stop me. "Several people from a club identified Bella. It was a woman, not a man, and they saw her leave with Marcus."

I shook my head and backed away from him. "No," I said, refusing to believe it for a moment. "Clubs are dark and smoky. They assumed it was Bella because of the wig. Maybe it wasn't Jake, but it wasn't my Bella either."

I was back to square one, but I wasn't giving up.


	30. Chapter 30

30

I remember the day we left the island very well. We were both so hopeful and anxious to return. Bella had goals to work on and everything was turning around. If I could turn back time I would keep her on the island, where she would never be victimized again.

Riley pushed for a quick trial, knowing the state wouldn't have time to prepare for someone like Bella. My father got to see her as her therapist, but I was kept away. Jake's alibi was solid, but it didn't mean he wasn't connected somehow.

I was going to be the first one called to the stand and Riley worked with me often on my testimony. When the day arrived I walked into court confident it would all be over soon and Bella and I would be back together.

I was called into the courtroom and my eyes went right to the defense table. Bella was hunched over with her arms wrapped around her waist. Her image began to blur as my eyes filled with tears. It was the core, but she was barely hanging on.

I sat on the stand and was sworn in. Riley asked me if I knew the woman at the defense table. I smiled and said, "Yes, it is Isabella Swan."

"I thought her name was Marie Harris," Riley said, sounding purposefully confused.

"Her abuser legally changed her name, but she is really Isabella Swan," I said adamantly.

"How is it you know her?" he asked.

I smiled and saw Kido come forth. She grinned back at me and gave a slight wave. I spoke for close to an hour about my history with little Bella. The court took a break before I would be called back onto the stand to discuss meeting her again years later. I went into the hallway to decompress, envious that my dad was sitting in the defense room with Bella.

"Edward?" someone called out.

I turned to see Tanya walking toward me. I groaned and didn't even try to put on a happy face. She gave me a polite hug and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm testifying," I said without further explanation.

"When did you get back from Brazil?" she asked.

I was a bit pissed Jasper told her where I had been, but changed the subject by asking, "How's Jane?"

"Good, she's lost a few pounds," she said with pride.

"She didn't need to lose any weight," I said angrily, and then worried about the girl getting drawn into substance abuse.

"I'm letting her run track like you suggested," she said angrily. "I wasn't saying I forced her to lose weight."

"Oh, good," I replied, and looked around to see if anyone was headed back into the courtroom.

"Tell your folks I said hello," she added, and spun around the leave. I didn't bother responding, she was the last person I wanted to see and I needed to remain focused on Bella.

I returned to the stand and spent the rest of the afternoon explaining my relationship with Bella. I emphasized how easily she became frustrated and would change from one personality to the next, none of them capable of planning a murder.

When Riley asked me about her anger I played it off as frustration, not an actual personality. I didn't look at my father or Bella, but kept my eyes glued onto Riley. I ended with the details about coming back to Seattle. I explained it was a spur of the moment decision and we had arrived exhausted from the trip. I went on to say Bella was anxious to get started on the book and it was her entire focus.

When I was finally cross examined the prosecutor focused on Bella's anger. Riley had prepared me for it, but I was still working hard to remain calm myself. I used medical jargon and tried to make it sound like they were reading too much into her natural defense mechanisms.

The day ended and I was emotionally spent. I watched them lead Bella from the room and I blew her a kiss when she glanced back at me. My father approached me and patted me on the back. "You did a great job up there," he said.

"How's she holding up?" I asked, not concerned about myself.

"Good, she isn't sleeping well, but that is to be expected," he said to worry me further. I didn't know if Baby Doll was coming out or if she was simply tossing and turning.

We went home and ate in silence. I hated night time the most. I would lie in my bed, missing her until it ached. My arms were empty and I longed to hear her giggle.

I wasn't allowed into the courtroom since I was a witness, but my father would give me a recap every night. Things were going well, and Riley felt confident of an acquittal. The medical testimony pointed to someone versed in crime scene knowledge. Bella had never so much as watched an episode of CSI.

When the prosecution called me back they asked me about Bella's rage again. I remained calm until the lawyer opened his notebook and said, "So you weren't there when Dr. Whitlock was attacked?"

I looked at my father with surprise. I didn't know if Jasper had told them or if one of the nurses testified about it. Riley nodded for me to quickly respond so I said, "Yes, I was there."

"He was bitten viciously, wasn't he?"

I began to sweat and said, "You have to understand it was the first day of her commitment. We were trying to instigate a strong response."

"Is that a yes?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yes," I finally admitted.

"And it took two men to pull her off of Dr. Whitlock, correct?"

"It didn't take two men," I said angrily, "Two of us were there and we both responded."

"So she easily disengaged?" he asked as if I was caught in a lie.

"I wasn't trying to pull her off of him. I was trying to make her realize we were not going to hurt her. I never used my full force."

He set the folder down and pointed at the flat screen on the wall. "So the video we watched showed you trying to coax her, not pull her away?"

"No, I was pulling her away, just not using brute strength to toss her across the room," I said, trying to clarify in a way to help us both out. "If you watched the tapes, all of them, you would see how gentle and childlike Bella is."

"Yes," he said with a chuckle. "Just like a biting two year old."

The judge quickly admonished the prosecutor and I looked away so the jury wouldn't see me glare at him. He finished his examination and Riley stood to ask me one last question. "Dr. Cullen, you have spent time alone with Bella for seven months, have you ever been afraid of her?"

I looked over at the jury and said, "No, not once. I love her because she is so kind and so gentle. She is too sensitive to violence because of her past; it isn't possible for her to hurt another person.

I knew I left out information about the personality with the deep voice because they wouldn't understand she had to have some way to defend herself. It was so deeply rooted she couldn't even bring it out at will. It would never hunt someone down to kill them.

Riley was thrilled when the prosecution rested. He was certain they didn't prove their case and everything they had was circumstantial. The witnesses all agreed it was the pink wig that convinced them it was Bella they saw.

When Riley gave his closing argument he asked Bella to stand. She was so thin and her shoulders were slumped over. The thought she could kill anyone seemed preposterous. The case would be turned over to the jury the following morning and I was hopeful Bella would come home with me soon.

I wanted to take her and run back to the island as quickly as possible, but it was my father who brought up the subject of the trip to Forks. I was watching the news and he came to sit next to me. "Are you going to spend the night in Forks or make it there and back in one day?"

My eyes widened and I said, "We're not going to Forks. I'm getting her out of here as quickly as possible."

He put his hand on my knee and said, "Edward, she is worried that deep down you might have doubts about her guilt or innocence. I think you need to still go to Forks to prove you have no doubts."

"I honestly don't," I admitted. "You saw her today. She isn't someone who could kill a grown man, a tall man at that, or a woman in a wheelchair. I have no doubts."

"Then finish the trip. Take her to see her parents' graves and don't run off like you are afraid of something."

I looked him in the eyes, trying to see any doubt coming from him. I finally asked, "Dad, do you believe any of it?"

He took a deep breath and I felt my spine stiffen. I wanted him to blurt out how ridiculous the whole notion was, but he didn't. He finally said, "Do I think Bella _could_ do it? Yes. Do I believe she did? No."

I stared in shock and shook my head slowly back and forth. My father had always been there to help me no matter what the situation was, but he seemed to be turning against me too. "You're wrong," I said and he shook his head back at me.

"Son, you don't take the kind of abuse Bella did without having something buried deeply that burns your soul. It will either explode out of her looking for revenge or it will slowly burn itself out as she replaces it with trust and happiness."

"She yelled at her grandmother, she never hit her or lashed out at her," I pointed out. "And Marcus adored her, he wouldn't try to touch her, he only liked to watch."

"I agree," Carlisle responded. "As I said, I don't believe she killed those people. I just want you to realize there very well could be a side of her capable of doing it."

I nodded, not wanting to take the conversation any further. I finally asked, "Did Jasper testify for the prosecution?"

"No, it was a conflict of interest since he treated her and Marcus. He was shocked you testified."

I didn't know why it would shock him; I was the only one who had all the information on Bella from the island. I also kept Marcus's peccadilloes out of my testimony. I knew we were going to have a lot of work to do to fix our relationship. I picked up my phone and dialed his cell.

Dad left the room to give me privacy and when Jasper answered I took a moment to gather my thoughts. "I've been a horrible friend," I began.

"Stop," he instructed me. "If it was Allie on trial I would have behaved the same way."

"Not just the trial, but everything. I've been so obsessed with Bella it made me an awful partner and possible relative. When are you going to marry my sister and make an honest woman out of her?" I teased.

"Tell you what, when you and Bella are over all of this we'll set a date," he replied.

I smiled as I realized it was so like Jasper to put others in front of his own desires. I said, "Set a date, we'll be there no matter what."

I hung up the phone and went to thank my parents for all their support and help. I was indebted to so many people and grateful to have them in my life. I climbed into bed and tried to image the moment Bella would be found innocent. I would be able to hold her in my arms and promise her she would never be without me again.

I fell asleep with hope and excitement, ready to face the next day certain Bella would be home.


	31. Chapter 31

The jury was given the case before noon and went right to work. Riley told me to stay close, since he felt they would come to a decision soon. I was pacing in the hallway when I saw Jake walk through the door. I knew he wasn't the actual killer, but I still didn't trust he wasn't involved.

He walked up to me and extended his hand. I scoffed and refused to shake it. He looked hurt by my refusal and said, "Let Bella know I'm rooting for her. I hope she does well with her book and I wish you both a life of happiness."

"Yeah, whatever," I said like a scorned teen.

He shook his head and said, "I walked away like you wanted. I would think you would be happier about winning."

"Why are you here?" I demanded, not wanting Leggy to see him.

"Jesus," he complained, "I loved the woman and I'm worried about her. Is it a crime?"

I looked at his dark eyes and said, "Someone set her up and you know it. If I ever find out who did this to her, I won't go easy on them."

His mouth formed a sneer and he leaned in closer to say, "Maybe you were the one making things right for her, knowing she would never be convicted."

I gasped at his implication. He thought I killed them for Bella. That I would be capable of letting her go through this hell just so I could have a bit of revenge. My hands pulled into fists and I said through clenched teeth, "You better walk away from me, right now."

Jake laughed and turned to leave. I was shaking with anger and headed into the restroom to splash water on my face to calm down. I suddenly wondered if others suspected the same thing. I walked back into the hallway and felt like all the eyes were on me.

I sat on a bench and when the door opened again Marcus's wife walked in. She looked at me with a hateful glare and I gave it right back to her. Someone killed her husband and I should have been more sympathetic, but she believed it was my Bella so I couldn't find it in me to offer her condolences.

The afternoon began to drag on and I was getting nervous that Riley wasn't as sure as he pretended. I glanced at the clock on the wall and sat back to close my eyes. It was then I heard someone call my name. I looked up to see Riley's secretary motioning for me. I ran to her and she led me into a small room.

"They've reached a verdict. It will be read in an hour."

"It's a good sign right?" I asked, needing her to reassure me.

"It is a very good sign," she said with a smile. "She won't be convicted; did you see how captivated the jury was by the testimony? Riley wants to do a press conference after the verdict with you and Bella there."

I was a bit surprised and tried to refuse gently. I owed him my undying gratitude, but there was no way Bella was going to be paraded out like a freak for everyone to look at.

"She's not capable of something like that. I'm worried about her health, she looks so frail," I said.

She laughed and said, "I got her clothes too large to make her look smaller. She's fine."

I looked at the woman who was treating this like a game, a dog and pony show to confuse the jurors. I said emphatically, "Bella is innocent. There is no need for tricks; she is a mentally and physically fragile woman."

"Well, most people don't feel that way, so if she comes out publicly it will stop all speculation," she said.

I shook my head. I didn't give a damn what people thought. Bella didn't kill those people and it was only the jury I cared about, not the public. I planned to take her away from Washington, so they could speculate all they wanted.

"The second she is found innocent I'm getting her out of here," I said.

She looked terribly disappointed and didn't try to hide it. She opened the door and walked out with me following behind. I entered the courtroom and sat next to my parents as we waited for the judge to return. Alice and Jasper joined us and I watched as he gave Mrs. Volturi and hug. I didn't attempt to comfort her. She was lucky the cheating bastard was out of her life.

I wasn't a particularly religious man, but as I sat there watching the minutes tick away I found myself praying to God that Bella would be coming home today.

The judge entered the room first and then the door opened and the defense team entered. I looked at Bella and she smiled softly at me. She was the core and I was so proud of her. The jury came in last and I watched their faces for any sign. I was relieved when a couple smiled at Bella. My body began to relax and I was ready to burst out in loud whoops of joy.

Everything was so formal. The judge asked Bella to stand and he read the verdict. She was found not guilty on both counts. Her head fell forward and she began to shake uncontrollable. Riley helped her back into her chair and the judge told her she was free to go as soon as he finished thanking the jury.

I was the first one out of my seat and I jumped the small railing and pulled her into my arms. I felt her melt into me, finally letting go of all the control she had been using over the past few months. "You did it," I said, as I kissed her head and held her tightly.

She looked up at me with terrified eyes and said, "Get me out of here."

I held her protectively and rushed her from the room. Reporters were trying to ask her questions but she remained tucked into my side and I walked as quickly as possible. We got into my mother's car and drove away before Bella broke down into loud sobs. I pulled over when I got a chance and she jumped onto my lap.

"It's over love," I told her before pulling her to my lips.

I was going to kiss her gently without any hint of desire, but she changed the kiss into an aggressive one. She was panting and her hands pulled on my shirt so she could run her hands over my flesh. I tried to slow her down but there was not stopping her. I finally had to say, "Bella, what's going on?"

She looked at me with swollen lips and took several deep breaths before saying, "I never thought I would get the chance to show you how much I love you. Don't deny me, please Edward."

My heart was pounding and I nodded before saying, "Let's get a room."

She moved back to her seat and I pulled over at the first hotel I came to, a Best Western close to the park. She kept her hands on my waist as I check us in and then held tightly to my side as we headed down the hallway. When I opened the door she rushed in and pulled her shirt off of her body.

I stood back, a bit surprised by her forwardness and also wanting to know who I was dealing with. She looked at me and raised her shoulders just like Leggy would do and said, "We're all here, all of us."

I walked up to her and turned her around so I could unhook her bra for her. I reached over her shoulders and hugged her bare back to me as she began unzipping her jeans. I turned my head and kissed her ear before saying, "I love you Bella Marie Swan."

"Show me," she begged as if our time was limited somehow. I wondered if she was losing her nerve but she twisted around in my arms and kissed me with so much passion I instantly succumbed to her.

I helped her remove my clothing as we remained locked together by our lips. When I was naked too she jumped up to wrap her legs around my waist. I could feel the heat radiating out of her body and I moaned as she pushed up and rubbed against my chest.

I took her to the bed and instead of lying down I turned and sat on the edge. She pushed me back and reached between her legs for my erection. I sighed and let my eyes close, assuming she would play with me a little. Instead, she placed me at the entrance of her vagina and pushed down, sending me plunging into her.

I screamed out, not in pain, but in surprise. I had imagined making love to her, but I thought it would be slow and upsetting for her. I opened my eyes to make sure she was okay. She was using my chest for leverage and her head was back with her eyes closed.

"Bella," I called out to her. She looked down and it made me tear up at the sight of her. She was beautiful and there wasn't any sign of distress.

I rolled her over and she tried to speak through her panting voice. "Is this real?" she asked.

"God, I hope so," I said with a smile, and she laughed along with me. I finally stopped with the romantic shit and realized her body needed this as much as mine did. I let go, feeling her do the same. We grunted and sighed and were both selfish with our needs. She knew her body well and I was grateful for Baby Doll and her willingness to express her sexuality.

Her movements were uninhibited and driving me closer and closer to the edge. I tried my best to hang on, but when she pushed her body off of the bed with her feet I exploded into her. I was still hard as a rock and she continued to ride me until her own release came. I watched her as her arms went over her head and she writhed in complete pleasure.

I fell to her side and quickly pulled her to me. I couldn't express how much I loved her and how easily this had happened. I was kissing her as I spoke incoherently. She buried her head against my shoulder and said, "You must think I'm a whore."

I tensed at her words and pushed back to look at her face. "No, never," I said in surprise. "I think you are an amazingly sexy woman and I only love you more."

Her hand came up to my cheek and she said in a whisper, "It's just that I missed you so much."

I gave her a simple kiss and then said, "Bella, this is all totally natural. You have nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for. You gave me your love, and I can't thank you enough."

"I was so afraid," she admitted.

"Of me?" I asked, not sure what she was talking about.

"No, of the trial. I worried I wouldn't be able to keep the others under control and they would lock me away forever."

"That would never happen," I told her with a clear, strong voice. "You are innocent and everyone knows it."

"I hate it here," she said as her eyes filled with tears. "I want to go back to the island, where it is just you and me."

"Okay," I said softly. "We'll go to Forks and leave the next day."

She smiled at me and put her face against my chest. I held her, playing with her hair until I heard her sleeping softly. I pulled the comforter over us and locked my arms around her, making sure I would know if she stirred. I fell asleep before the sun had a chance to set and planned on proposing to Bella the next day.

I wouldn't be happy with just having her with me on the island. I wanted to marry her and have her with me forever. I slept soundly knowing nothing but happiness was ahead for us.


	32. Chapter 32

32

I woke up the next morning and my entire arm was numb. I pulled it slowly out from under Bella and she turned to look at me. I shook it rapidly as I groaned from the tingling sensation. She laughed and when I laid back down she sat up and straddled me.

I ran my good hand through her hair and said, "Good morning, how's freedom?"

"Pretty freaking amazing," she said with the giggle I had missed so desperately.

"I need to go past my house before we go to Forks, will that be okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I want to see Carlisle and Esme before we go back to Brazil," she said.

I stared at her, knowing we should be on our way but I couldn't force myself to move. She was feeling the same thing and said, "We should shower."

"Yeah, we should," I agreed.

She didn't move a muscle to remove herself off of me and I was glad she didn't. She leaned over slowly and I held her hair out of the way. Right before our lips touched she said, "Make love to me."

This time I took it very slowly, learning about her body and how to make it respond to mine. She moved purposefully and deliberately as she found every way to give me pleasure. We became one and the thought touched me. We were becoming an integrated couple, working as one to make this a real relationship on every level.

After we showered we stopped by my parents' house. We packed up our stuff and told them of our plans to head back to the island after going to Forks. My father asked if he could speak with Bella. She walked confidently to his office and I watched her with pride.

My mother tapped on my shoulder and said, "I think you are in love."

I laughed and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm going to propose," I told her and she squealed with delight.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hallway to her room. She rushed to her jewelry box and took out a small box. "Here," she said with a huge smile, "It was your grandmothers ring, use it to propose to Bella."

I opened the box to see a simple diamond ring solitaire and a band with three diamonds. I shut the box and put it in my pocket. I hugged my mother again and she kissed my cheek. "I love you son, and I'm proud of how loyal you were through this trial. You never doubted her once."

"Because I knew she didn't do it," I said.

She laughed and said, "Me too. It would be impossible."

We went back into the kitchen and made some food as we waited for my dad and Bella. They were talking for a long time and I was growing a bit concerned. When they finally returned I could tell Bella had been crying.

I gave my father a dirty look and pulled her onto my lap. "Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Can we go now?"

"Sure, I put the bags in the car already. Grab some food and you can eat in the car."

We said our goodbyes and made arrangements for Alice to take us to the airport later that night. I drove from the city and was driving fast to make up for lost time. I was hoping Bella would tell me what my father said so I wouldn't have to ask. But she only stared out the window.

I reached over and took hold of her hand and pulled it to my lips to kiss it. "I'm sorry my father upset you," I said, to start the conversation.

Her eyes filled with tears and she said, "I didn't understand a lot of it. I don't know why I would have some money because my parents were murdered. You can have it if you want," she offered.

I didn't bother explaining how insurance policies worked. I just assured her the money was hers to keep. She nodded and then said, "I have a house in Forks. That horrible woman made me live with her and I had a house of my own."

"You can sell it if you want," I told her.

"People live there, but it's mine. I don't get it," she said again.

"The house is rented. You own it and you can let them live there and pay you or you can make them move," I explained.

She turned away from me and went back to looking out the window. I didn't push it any further. She didn't have an emotional attachment to Forks, but maybe someday she would want to live there. I drove in silence and let her think about things.

When we got to Port Angeles Bella gasped and pointed at the waterfront. "Look Edward, what is that?"

I looked over to where she was looking and saw a bunch of kites flying in the air. "Those are kites, have you ever flown a kite?"

"No, is it hard?" she asked.

"No, it is very easy. We'll get one to take back to Brazil."

"Really," she asked with enthusiasm, "Do they cost a lot of money? I have some money now."

I laughed loudly, since only a couple of hours earlier she was telling me I could have her money. I could imagine all kinds of things Bella has never experienced, things most people take for granted. She probably never had a bike or got to roller-skate.

I was making all kinds of plans when I saw a sign saying we were only half an hour from Forks. I looked at Bella and said, "Are you ready for this?"

"For what?" she asked.

"To see where your parents are buried?" I asked, wondering if she had forgotten why we were coming to Forks.

She nodded and then smiled at me. "I like that they are buried together. It's nice."

"Do you want to stop for flowers to put on their graves?" I asked, and she looked confused so I added, "It is customary to bring flowers when you visit a cemetery."

"Okay," she said, as if it was no big deal.

I pulled into the first flower shop I saw in the small town of Forks. Bella waited in the car and I ran in to pick up a bouquet. I got a single Rose for Bella to keep for herself. When I came back to the car I walked up to her side and held out the flower. She looked at it and then up at me. "What?" she asked.

"A red rose stands for love," I explained, and held it out again.

She smiled widely and took the rose from my hand. I put the bouquet on the backseat and then got into the car. The florist gave me directions to the cemetery but once we were there I had no idea where to look. We walked among the tombstones for twenty minutes before I found their gravesite.

I called Bella over and she looked down to see her parents' names. It said Renee Swan instead of Renee Harris and I was grateful for it. Bella stared at it for a few moments and then fell to her knees and began pounding the stone angrily.

I wrapped my arms around her, trying to get her to explain what she was feeling. She fought to get away from me and when I let go she jumped up and moved away from their graves. She pointed at their names and said, "They should have stayed together. They should have worked out their problems and stayed together. Why do they get to be together now? They ruined my life and they are together laughing at me."

I shook my head and tried to reason with her, "No love, they are not laughing at you. They feel horrible for letting you get hurt. They gave their lives trying to save you. Don't hate them."

She covered her ears with her hands and shook her head to block out my words. I finally stepped away from the headstone and said, "Fine, tell them how angry you are. Tell them what happened because they parted."

She looked at the names again and then walked up to kick the rock. "You were supposed to take care of me," she screamed. "You were supposed to protect me. He hurt me in the darkness and nobody helped me."

She had her back to me and she wiped her face before turning around and saying with no emotion. "I want to leave now."

She headed to the car and I put the flowers down and promised the Swans I would take care of their little girl and never let anyone hurt her again. We didn't even spend an hour in Forks before returning back to Seattle. I stopped by a game store and found the perfect kite before we headed to Alice and Jasper's house.

They both drove us to the airport and wished us well. We told them we would come back for their wedding and I stuck my hand in my pocket to feel the box waiting for the perfect moment to propose. We got on a flight and both fell asleep.

It felt like we had been gone from the island for years, not months. The stress of the trial had taken its toll and we were both emotionally exhausted. Bella slept soundly the entire way and I realized I had spent the entire day with her and never knew which personality was dominate. They had merged into one woman and I knew writing the book would keep her integrated.

We arrived at the house in the middle of the morning. Bella climbed onto the dock and turned to look at me. "We're home," she said, and I nodded in agreement. I could live here forever with just Bella and be totally happy.

We took our bags inside and Bella looked at the kite," Can we fly it now?" she begged.

I looked out the window and saw the wind was blowing. "Get your swimsuit on and meet me on the beach."

She grabbed her bag and ran to her room as worked on putting the kite together. She was jumping up and down as she waited impatiently. I decided to propose as we flew the kite. It would be the perfect time as she experienced something new.

"Let me put on my swimsuit," I said, and ran toward the house. I got my trunks that had pockets and threw them on, hiding the ring in them.

I saw Bella through the window. She was rubbing her arms as if she was cold. I yelled to her and asked, "Do you want a sweatshirt?"

She nodded and I went into her room to grab one from her closet. I saw a hoodie in the back of the closet and hung the sweatshirt back up and pulled the grey hoodie from the hanger. It was bulging out in the front so I stuck my hand inside the pocket to see what was there.

I pulled out a bright pink wig, covered in dried blood. My entire body was frozen in shock. I heard a noise and looked up to see Bella standing in the doorway. Her head lowered and she said with a deep, threatening voice, "Keep your mouth shut, or you'll be next."

"Do the others know?" I asked in only a whisper.

She shook her head and then turned and ran from the house yelling excitedly for me to hurry. I put the wig into the pocket and hung the hoodie in the back of the closet again. I touched the ring in my pocket and felt like I was going to vomit.

I walked to the beach where Bella waited. I forced a smile and realized we were stuck here forever. I couldn't let her rage loose because it would never burn out. It was buried deeply, still unknown to the other fractures, but it would always be there. The island would become our dollhouse, where she could remain cracked but able to do more than sit on the shelf.

I picked up the kite and ran down the shore until it soared high in the air. Bella laughed and squealed as she ran after me. I felt the kite catch a current and stopped to watch it sail above us. I held out the handle for her to take and I moved over to an outcropping of rocks. I put my hand in my pocket and pulled the box out, letting it fall between the large boulders.

"Edward, do you love it?" she laughed, still looking upward.

"Yes, I love it," I said honestly, and then walked into the surf to join her.

The End


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